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Default Feb 09, 2024 at 01:12 PM
  #521
Oh and I’ve been putting my phone away at least an hour before bed and reading a physical paperback book till I’m tired enough to sleep. Trying to cut back o my screen time. My daily average lately is 9 1/2 hours. That’s insane. I want it below 4 hours.

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Default Feb 09, 2024 at 01:14 PM
  #522
I have a violin lesson tomorrow. So I need to practice later. My bf has a three day weekend off work so we’ll probably play some yugioh and watch Naruto later and throughout the weekend. Probably watch a movie too. Last weekend we watched Spirited Away. We alternate who picks the movie each weekend.

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Default Feb 10, 2024 at 10:05 PM
  #523
I still wish people that didn't like my post have a good day

Yeah, I'm going full BPD. Now my attention won't be of any of this after this post.

But then again, no one has to like a post if they don't want to, so it's all good ^-;
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Default Feb 10, 2024 at 10:13 PM
  #524
Are you okay Desoxyn? I’m sorry for not liking your post, I haven’t been on here as much and when I do come on I just post a quick update then leave since hardly anyone posts anymore, and I’ve been busy with my new cat and other things. When I don’t like a post it doesn’t mean anything personal or that I don’t like it it just means Ive been busy or distracted.

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Default Feb 10, 2024 at 10:17 PM
  #525
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
I still wish people that didn't like my post have a good day

Yeah, I'm going full BPD. Now my attention won't be of any of this after this post.

But then again, no one has to like a post if they don't want to, so it's all good ^-;
I get the same way when people don’t like my post

I have BPD and get my feelings hurt really easily over nothing or imagined things, but it’s gotten better over time and I’ve learned to ignore it and to not care as much

I think my hobbies help too. Like playing violin, videogames, reading , volunteering,they provide a good distraction and also my bf helps a lot too.

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Default Feb 10, 2024 at 10:24 PM
  #526
Had a great violin lesson today. Learning a lot. Feel like I’m starting to improve some. Still have a very very long way to go but it’s a lot of fun. I’ve been practicing for an hour to an hour and a half a day.

My kitties are doing well

My bf loved his valentines gifts. I got him candy and Bach classical pieces guitar book. His valentines gifts for me are arriving this coming week. He said there’s a bunch of stuff coming so I don’t know what to expect lol

We watched Naruto tonight and played the yugioh TCG. We started playing chess yesterday. I’m still learning. It’s hard. But I do want to learn how to play good cause it is fun and I enjoy strategy games. We play on an app while we are on face time with each other.

I painted some earlier today and drew. Sat outside for half an hour and read.

Meditated this morning for 15 min. Played some videogames. Now I’m just relaxing and waiting till I’m tired enough to go to sleep.

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Default Feb 10, 2024 at 11:42 PM
  #527
It's ok lol ^-

I'm not okay. I have heart palps when lying down (Because of self medicating), so I did more self medicating - But I snapped back to my senses. Not looking forward to going to sleep tonight, but took 1.5 benzos (First time I did that in a long time).

I have my bag packed - I go to work in the morning, and then I go on my moms work trip (Deeper into the rockies) for 3 days, it'll be fun.

Then my dad will visit. Just hopefully my heart OCD doesn't ruin everything. But I'm using a Zen like tactic to take my mind off of it..

I talked with my psychiatrist. I'm having more symptoms of schizophreina, but I told my psychiatrist to not worry about it for now. Yesterday was a lot of anxiety (Work, and had a blood test too), had slight DPDR and almost had a panic attack.

My hobby is mainly being on the "Intellectual Dark Web" for now - I'd like to change that.. But time will pass, every day gets better. Just got to focus on my own little life, and not worry about things that I can't control.
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Default Feb 11, 2024 at 08:47 AM
  #528
I hope you have fun on your trip Desoxyn. That sounds amazing. I’ve never been to the Rockies. I live near the Adirondack mountains. It’s really nice up in them but I haven’t been since I was a kid. I like hiking but now I’m afraid of running into a bear so I haven’t gone hiking in several years.

Hope you feel better regarding the symptoms.

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Default Feb 11, 2024 at 11:08 AM
  #529
I got this app called plant nanny. You have to drink water in order to keep the water pants healthy and grow so it motivates you to drink water and track your intake
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Default Feb 11, 2024 at 05:07 PM
  #530
My mom has COVID so the work trip was cancelled. I tested negative, and have a lot of energy. No heart palps last night!

The suffering is over... My dad will still visit (Although he wouldn't want to catch COVID, so that'll be in a while I guess).

I gave her Tylenol 1's.. She's shivering =[
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Default Feb 12, 2024 at 02:00 PM
  #531
I talked a few weeks ago about how I was having trouble renewing my food stamps for this year. Last Friday I went to my county's food stamps office and talked with my caseworker, and today I got an email saying I was approved! Very happy about that, I was very stressed out about it.

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Default Feb 12, 2024 at 08:55 PM
  #532
My mom feels better. I have a runny nose, that's about it. All is good.

Although I had the most surreal dreams I've ever had in my life last night.
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Default Feb 12, 2024 at 10:20 PM
  #533
One of my bfs valentines gifts for me came today. It was a Saukura Japanese snack box. So many awesome snacks in it! The rest of the stuff he got me is arriving throughout the week, whatever it is it’s a surprise.

Mocha is still extremely shy and timid, but she does come out to eat and drink and use the litterbox, she’s a sweet girl. I love her. Her and Mustachio have been doing fine, no hissing or growling. Just sniff each other sometimes but that’s all.
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Default Feb 12, 2024 at 10:25 PM
  #534
I have my shift volunteering with the rescue cats tomorrow morning. Thursday I have an hour long intro appointment with my new psychiatrist. Other than that not much going on.

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Default Feb 12, 2024 at 10:31 PM
  #535
I got a bunch of new games. I now have every single kingdom hearts game except the offspin one which is a rhythm game which I’m getting next week. And I have the all the Halo games now, there was a bundle of the halo games for sale on the Xbox store. Masterchief collection for $9 total which is a humongous deal. So I grabbed it. I’ve been playing a lot of Disney Dreamlight Valley on my Nintendo switch. Been practicing violin and ukulele everyday. And been trying to do artwork 2-3 times a week. Been reading a lot too.

I’m doing good though. My mood is good. I’m just trying to lose some weight I’ve gained so I’m trying to push myself to take a long walk everyday. Pokémon go helps motivate me to do that.

My bf and I watch Naruto everyday before or after he gets to or back from work. On his days off we play yugioh, magic the gathering chess, or videogames , watch movies etc

I’m a lot less stressed out than when I was working. I’m going back to college in the fall.

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Default Feb 13, 2024 at 07:43 PM
  #536
My life is a good life =]
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Default Feb 15, 2024 at 03:23 AM
  #537
The dream of all dreams...
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Default Feb 15, 2024 at 07:24 AM
  #538
I was up for 48 hours then I slept for awhile now I’ve been up for 24 hours

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Default Feb 15, 2024 at 07:28 AM
  #539
I have an appointment with my new psychiatrist today. He’s an older guy from Poland according to my therapist who works in the same office. I hope the appointment is quick. It’s scheduled for an hour because it’s our first time meeting but I don’t feel like going through my entire life history , they have the notes they can read. Plus I’m exhausted and don’t even remotely feel like walking the 25 minute walk there and the 25 minute walk back on zero sleep but I can’t cancel at this point it would be too short notice. I feel like I’m about to collapse from exhaustion

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Default Feb 15, 2024 at 10:26 AM
  #540
Had a good appointment with my new psychiatrist. He was very thorough. So he confirmed that my diagnosis is definitely schizoaffective bipolar type like I was already diagnosed as. And he increased my Thorazine to help with the bipolar symptoms and lack of sleep and he ordered bloodwork and once we get my sleep straightened out we’re gonna look at some new medications to replace the Thorazine because that is a really old medication and there are better ones out there he said.

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