Roll Call 202

SP said it might also be withdrawals cause I went from getting high frequently and taking edibles frequently to not doing anything for 4 days

My bf said that’s not true though because it’s not addictive or have withdrawal effects

Hey I'm just catching up here a little. I saw your question about social anxiety and customer service. I used to have severe social anxiety, it was actually more like a phobia. When I first started cashiering it was very hard for me to interact with customers and coworkers. I didn't know how to make "small talk". But, as time kept on, I became much more comfortable in these settings. It does take time. I think that it's a skill we have to build up. The more we put ourselves in social situations , the more our social skill improves. It's kind of a catch 22 seeing as how being social is what gives the anxiety , but it's been worth it to me to push thru that uncomfortableness.

Being new at any job is stressful, especially in retail when it feels like the pressure is on! I typically just try to find a way to tell the customer that I'm new and still learning. That usually eases up their expectations.

And about the pre work anxiety... I had that as well. I would even drive around for over an hour before I had to go in to work. Just driving in circles around my job! It was the only thing that kept me sane and well enough to actually go and clock in. I no longer do that and honestly don't have this anxiety anymore. I don't even have social anxiety anymore

Hey sorry to hear you're struggling BB. Marijuana definitely has psychological withdrawal effects. I didn't realize you had left your job since the post I replied to above. Sorry if that wasn't OK. I think the thc is probably not a good thing for you. You have to be careful to not get caught up in the cycle of addiction. It is most definitely possible to be addicted to Marijuana. With your medications, using thc can actually lessen their effectiveness. Also if the gummies you're eating are delta 8 or delta 9 they can have varying effects due to the unregulations on those products. One gummy could have more than the other on it. I found when using these products it sent me over the edge

Thank you, and it’s okay I kind of went back and forth with working but I decided it’s not for me right now, I’m just focusing on volunteering. And yeah they’re delta 9 THC gummies. I am staying away from THC from now on it affects me way to severely and I don’t feel comfortable taking it anymore.

Right now I’m just trying to do my best to ground myself and not panic. Which is hard at the moment. I know it will be okay eventually, and eventually I’ll feel better it just sucks especially since it was my birthday I wish I was able to enjoy it more.

I feel quite a bit better after 5 days of pure mental hell. I managed to take a walk to the store. Walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes. Make my bed, do the dishes, take a shower, and read.

I want to read...

Happy belated birthday!!!!!

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He seems to be an expert on your meds and recreational crap. Pot has the exact opposite effect on you as your meds do. You wouldn't be involved in THC except for his influence.

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Enjoying some decaf coffee while I listen to music. Probably gonna watch more of the anime Demon Slayer tonight. One of my all time favorite anime’s ever.

I got myself some ebooks for my birthday. These are the ones I got. I’ll have to do this in two posts

And the rest

A lot of them are silly little light cozy fantasy romance books cause I’m trying to get out of a reading slump. But yeah I’m excited about these books

I'm taking a break from violin lessons for 2 months since they're expensive but I'm still gonna practice everything we've been working on everyday in the meantime then I'll resume lessons in August

I have to go get bloodwork for my psychiatrist on Monday. I see him Wednesday. I'm doing well aside from the slip up with the edible use, that was my own fault though and I definitely learned my lesson from it. I'm hoping we can start decreasing the thorazine now that the abilify is up to 20mg. The goal is to just be on abilify and trileptal. So we're workin on coming off the thorazine and zoloft now.

It's been 5 days off THC now. I'm tracking it with the I am Sober App. I feel better when I'm sober. Like a lot better. There's not that euphoric high which can be fun but at the same time I feel stable and a lot more in control and calmer and more productive, less paranoid, less delusional, less anxious, less panicky. So I think living a sober life is the best for me. Also I was getting kind of obsessed with getting high. Like I'd schedule it in my day daily in my time blocking scheduling app like a weirdo because it was the main thing I'd look forward to and I'd plan out all my future weed related purchases months in advance. That's not good. Especially since addiction runs in my family and I have an addictive personality.

I spent the past two months high and planning my days around getting high

I’m finally through that nightmare and feel 100% better. I walked on the treadmill on an incline for 30 minutes. Sat outside for 30 minutes and read. Did the dishes. Got my protein powder and almond milk. I feel alive for the first time in 6 days. I slept good last night. Woke up, ate, took my meds, fell back asleep and took a nap for a couple hours. Now I’m just trying to decide what to do the rest of the day. I might draw some. And practice violin and ukulele

I forgot to say thank you for the birthday wishes from you all so I’m sorry. Thank you, I was just so out of it the past 6 days.

The main withdrawal symptoms I’ve had from quitting THC 6 days ago were anxiety and nausea. The nausea was really bad the first couple of days. The anxiety and panic was astronomical the first 4 days. I still have some anxiety but it’s getting better overall. I hope I didn’t like permanently wreck my brain or something though

my progress so far with quitting thc and caffeine. i do dri k decaf now which I know has very small amounts of caffeine however compared to 6-8 cups of fully caffeineted coffee a day thats a lot better.

Increasing the dose of Abilify can lead to impulsivity so be careful

It partially agonizes D2 receptors (Like LSD) - Can give you bad ADHD, like what happened to me, pure manic impulsivity, recklessness, self-destructive etc.

I'm doubling the dose of Vraylar tomorrow - It partially agonizes D3 receptors, and D2 (A little bit). Very good for depression.

I’ve been on this dose of abilify before (when I was on the injection) and it wasn’t an issue then so I don’t think it will be an issue. It’s been 3 weeks since he increased it to 20mg from 15mg and I don’t feel manic or impulsive. It was actually increased to help calm down a manic episode

I’ve been on vraylar before in the past I was on 3mg of that. I couldn’t sleep on it though and it was making me kind of manic so I had to get off it. I hope it helps you though

Manic? Yes..

Give me mania o.-

(Jkjk) - Hypomania would be nice though, to make up for all of my horrifying despair and depression lol

But it has just been like a mood stabilizer, which is what I really need.

Day 2x on double dose Vraylar, no side effects - Work goes by fast - I'm not even bothered to work even longer, it doesn't bother me. I'm not depressed at all.

Eventually I'll try to get off the Invega, slowly.

Very depressed

I got bloodwork done today for my psychiatrist. Just routine stuff and checking my trileptal levels. I see him the day after tomorrow.

I'm not manic anymore that's for sure. So the abilify increase helped a lot, and the thorazine increase as well, and stopping the zoloft. I'm at 20mg Abilify now. I'm hoping he can start tapering me off the thorazine now that I'm okay on the abilify. I've kind of gone the other direction now and am a bit depressed. I just want to be on a simplified med combo. Not like 5-6 meds like I used to be on. My goal is to just be on the trileptal and abilify since those two help me the most. Right now I'm just on three meds and one PRN which I hardly take the PRN. So my main meds are abilify, thorazine and trileptal.

So yeah that's the goal. Just get off the thorazine. Then I'll just be on Trileptal 1500mg , Abilify 20mg, and propranolol PRN 10mg

I broke up with my boyfriend today

I hope it's ok to post here. My son has a pretty severe case of schizophrenia. 4 years ago he did something and can't come back home bc I know he will stop taking his meds and start smoking weed again.

I have numerous mental health problems as well. I can't be his caregiver. He lived in a group home until he started acting up really bad in it. He was in the hospital while my sister took over trying to find a place more fitting for him to go. He's on the spectrum as well. He's 29 but I would say he's more like 16. So he's in a developitally delayed home with just 20 other men in it. He's much happier. He came for a visit the other day and is stopping by today to get some things he ordered off Amazon. Then not this weekend, but the next he will come for a 2 day visit. I'm so glad to see him happy again. But they put him on seroquel in the hospital and he's gained a lot of weight. But he's going to start working out again he says. I just hope I can gain support here and also give it.