Roll Call 202

I might get my septum piercing redone with my tax return

Ooooh excited for you. I love mine.

Next I want both my nostrils pierced but I’m going to reward myself for losing 20lbs.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I technically still have my septum pierced but I’m not sure how it looks, idk if it should be redone or not, or if I should try different jewelry. Maybe I’m just being paranoid and self conscious lol

I have my left nostril pierced

This is what it currently looks like. Maybe I’ll get a different piercing, on my ear or something like a daith

Ordering some food from Dennys tomorrow. Blueberry pancakes , cheesecake, a 2 pack of oreo milkshakes, and a double cheeseburger with bacon and fries.

Just tested for Covid again and was finally negative!! Just in time for my trip Thursday!

Been incredibly frustrated lately.

I had my food stamps re-certification in December, I filled out my application and sent in all of the documents they requested. At the beginning of this month, I got a letter saying I was denied because "worker will process case/agency delay," which means they are just backed up and haven't gotten to my case yet. Three weeks into January and I still havent heard from them, and it's impossible to talk to anyone at the department of human services on the phone. I really need food stamps to eat, SSI does not pay enough for rent, bills, and food.


Just don't know what to do. The one time I managed to talk to someone in the food stamps office they told me that I submitted everything I was supposed to, and I just have to wait until a worker gets to my case. So I guess I just have to wait around, but it sucks.

Sorry you’re dealing with that, are there any food pantries nearby that can get you through until the process your paperwork? I’m fortunate to live in a location with lots of food pantries available for people. I’ve gone to them many times in the past. When I was working it made it a little easier to afford food because I was in control of most of my money but still the food stamps I get aren’t enough to cover my food budget because my sister expects me to only need the $194 budget from my Foodstamps for an entire month for food and nothing more. (She’s my SSI payee and only gives me a certain amount per month.

Anyway, long story short food pantries have been life savers when I run out of food. A lot of them have surprisingly good stuff too

I’ve developed a really really bad cough starting yesterday. I am finally negative for Covid now though so idk what it is. I’m hoping it doesn’t cause me to not be able to go on my trip. It feels like bronchitis which I used to get a lot in my teen years.

It might just be lingering from having had Covid Apparently it can last a couple weeks

Can you go to a food bank?

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

They cancelled our trip due to Covid numbers being up here and in NYC

I found a food pantry nearby, they do daily meal deliveries like Meals on Wheels. So I'll be using them until I can get my food stamps figured out. Thank you BB and SP for the suggestions, I was kind of freaking out and didn't even think about food pantries for some reason.

Glad to hear! No one should go without food

Coughing so much. Just took some mucinex severe cold and flu max strength

Spirit molecules make me feel very good, and decrease anxiety.

+ I went skiing today, which is very good (There was no snow until recently, couldn't go).

My mom has been so supportive now, and has really helped me past few years. My dad too (Visiting more) - My sister (Free spirit), she's a gift - She sent me some manifesting spiritual book, so I'll get that in the mail. My aunt and uncle/cousins are smart and funny, they help a lot too.

On Saturday, I was tested, suicidal etc.. Past few weeks have been some of the hardest moments in my life (I think cuz I'm not using the 5mg dopamine/norepinephrine/serotonin releaser almost every morning, it's gone - It was a good antidepressant for a few months.. Cuz past 2-3 years, I've been suicidal almost every day).

I think my doctor forgot to book the echocardiogram (Or he's messing with me - If that's the case, I'll just ask again.. He can't say no).

Yesterday, very difficult too.. I was going to put a serotonin releaser into Coca Cola, and drink.. But I decided that my mom would be devastated if I died, and everyone else.. I'm not 20 anymore, can make better decisions.. I'm more free.. Not stuck in the basement, going insane, alone... crying, dancing and throwing up etc, in the dark, or staring at the lightbulb... For years.

My dad might take me to Argentina soon (:

I will visit you WA! Find me the Coca leaves.

If it's for sure then I'll learn lots of Spanish quick, and more about the country.

Good morning. I slept really good. I decided to cut out coffee. So I’m drinking my last cup right now then I don’t have any left so I’m just drinking water after that. I meditated a lot yesterday and according to my Fitbit my stress level is a lot better today than it was. I had a score of 53 yesterday and today it’s at 71. The higher number means it’s better. Which makes sense because last night I had like a 3 hour panic attack. But I feel better today. Sleep reset my brain I guess. I have an appointment with my therapist later today. Other than that not much going on. Practicing violin and ukulele. That’s about it. Will meditate too. And watch a show with my bf later. Hard to believe we’ve been together almost 10 months now.

I might play descent later. It’s a tabletop rpg board game. A lot of fun. I am still working on painting all the miniatures for it. There’s a lot of them.

Currently watching Howls Moving Castle by Studio Ghibli.

Might clean some today too since I do have energy because I slept really good.

Still listening to the Mozart audiobook. It’s a 30 hour long book. I’m about 12 hours into it so far.

Honestly limiting myself to only one (or sometimes two) cups of coffee per day has helped my anxiety a lot. Used to I would drink coffee throughout the day and I didn't realize how it effected me.

Yeah I typically was drinking 5-6 cups a day everyday and sometimes more. So it’s definitely too much. So hopefully it helps my anxiety. I am trying to get to a point where I can have one occasionally and not over do it.

My psychiatrist filled out the paperwork stating that I’m capable of being my own payee and not needing a payee anymore. I have it here. I just have to bring it to social security next week

I’ve had a crappy health week.

I mean, lately I’ve been having a problem with eating fatty food. Gastro issues.

But I started having really dry eyes and eye pain. One doctor looked me over and said I don’t have lupus, which is good. Eye doctor says I have very dry eyes and gave me drops. I have three eye drops I have to take now (two of them four times a day, one of them twice a day).

I figure it’s a flare up of sarcoidosis that I had a couple years ago (the lump on my lymph node that was a lymphoma scare and I had to have the lymph node surgically removed).

Fatigue, rash (rash on my face for last couple months and more rash showed up this morning), dry eyes, joint pain, dizziness, anemia, lump on my arm that showed up a couple weeks ago. It fit lupus but it’s not lupus so it also fits sarcoidosis.

So I see my doctor on Monday afternoon about it.

I feel awful and miserable. Just have to last until Monday. Probably not smart but I’m having some tequila shots tonight. **** it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I have a full 360° charlie horse on my right leg. That's in addition to all the pain from my knees etc. I want to go home. I have RLS pretty bad from eating too much sugar. The more I have the more I want. I wish I could go home. With cigarettes. I want a bunch of different brands although they all taste like crap, but they are an instant antianxiety reliever. I love my vape but I miss the thousands of chemicals in a cigarette. They have such complex recipes.

So I want to go home with cigarettes, and just hide out and smoke. They do change smoking here to a more mindful experience, instead of the constant cigarettes I used to have burning in ashtrays. We go outside and have one or two cigarettes, and I with my vape, needing it throughout the day and not a huff and puff vaping break. But it's ok. There's an agrivaine now in the smoking group who complains about 2nd hand vapor. I hate people like that. I will try to avoid it. Meanwhile I'm breathing her 2nd hand smoke.

I wish I could go far away. I watched two horror movies tonight. They were ok but the endings lacked inspiration. I couldn't find the info for them. Buried, and Kristy.


Sent from my moto g 5G - 2023 using Tapatalk

I got a free 2 Liter of Schweppes cranberry raspberry ginger ale. It was down in the community room where people put stuff they don’t want on a shelf for people to take, the highlight of my day lol

Thinking about starting another drawing today. I’m probably of Kakashi from Naruto