Fixed Delusion?

I know that a fixed delusion is a permanent fragment of "unreality".
I don't know what can be done about it.

I have one that I've posted about elsewhere. It's really really disturbing to me, but it's very real in my mind. My T calls it a fixed delusion, and that could be right. I don't know what to do about it, tho. I mean, AFAIK, it IS real. I can read all the books and do all the research and "know" what real reality is, but it has no effect on this one thing. And it's not something i can really get around, not deal with - it's "natural", everyday life stuff.

Does anyone here have fixed delusions, and how do you cope with them? If you've been able to be rid of them, how did you do it?
Thanks!

I've seen your posts elsewhere on Psych Central, but don't have any "advice" to offer -- except that I don't think ANY "delusion" is fixed. Not permanent, necessarily, just "sticky"! HARD to change but not impossible.

Assuming you feel the need to change it.

From what you have posted elsewhere it seems clear to me that you are conflicted about your possible "delusion." That is, you do not want to admit that your feelings are "wrong," but you actually do recognize that they are in conflict with what is "natural." I think it is worth thinking about: where your feelings, that something that most take as "natural" and you find as highly unnatural, may have come from.

To me, investigating is good. Even when it is very difficult.

Although I am apparently highjacking this thread for my own purposes, I thought I would write about something that happened to me. When I was just entering adolescence, my mother told me how babies got started. I found it unbelievable and appallingly disgusting -- that a man would actually put his penis into a woman. At the same time the thought was fascinating.

I have wondered how I got this kind of reaction, and why it later changed. I think that it was because all bodily functions, and especially anything to do with sex, were seen by my mother as being powerful and forbidden, and I certainly picked up that attitude. It affected a great many areas of my life, even things like eating habits.

Dictionary definition: forbidden fruit, a thing that is desired all the more because it is not allowed.

I'm sorry that I haven't replied sooner. It's a lot to think about. And now there's more to think about.
There's wasn't any sex in my parents house. It's been independently confirmed from both of them - the last time was about 1974. I grew up in an asexual household. Sex was bad, it was dirty and filthy and we NEVER EVER touch ourselves like that EVER AGAIN!!! So whatever it was that I shouldn't have been doing just ceased to exist. Poof. Problem solved. yeah, that was right around 1974, too.

There just WAS NO SEX of any kind. No reference, no information, NOTHING. So it was something I didn't have to worry about. If I'm asexual, then I've got it made.

But something went wrong. I had sex organs after all and it was really horrible. I'm still very disturbed, after all these years. My doctor tells me that what I feel doesn't have any basis in fact. He tells me that I've got a delusion, a psychotic break with my anatomical reality. I know it causes me a lot of distress, but it's more real to me than any "reality" people try to explain. I like doing it. I just don't like everything else that's attached. I'm never sure what's going to go wrong this time...

And I don't know how something can be real and not at the same time.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Kendyll said:My doctor tells me that what I feel doesn't have any basis in fact. He tells me that I've got a delusion, a psychotic break with my anatomical reality.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Well, maybe yes. But it has a "real" basis important to you. You cannot just rid yourself of it because someone tells you it is a delusion! It needs work so you understand it.