Does this sound like the onset of schizophrenia?

Hi everyone... I've been pretty worried that I'm developing schizophrenia and I get the idea that my psychiatrist might think I'm getting it and is not telling me. I need to know. I'm 19 and I've had anxiety and depression for the majority of my life... my mom is bipolar if that's relevant. Right now I am currently very lazy... I'm talking excessively lazy. I'm too lazy to eat, shower, shave, or brush my teeth. I smoke a lot of marijuana and I've done many other drugs before. These drugs include: Alcohol, marijuana, LSD, mushrooms, cocaine, oxycotton, dextromethorphan, diphenhydramine, xanax, etc etc.

Now I primarily just smoke pot and I've been having some hallucinations while high. A year ago I ate a brownie laced with marijuana and my friends were walking down the hall in my dorm room toward me. A few of them started talking to me then I observed my friend punch his dorm room door and yell "%#@&#!" really loud. But nobody else had reacted to it... and let me tell you... he yelled it loudly. If he yelled it that loudly and punched his door why did nobody else react to it but me? I asked him if he just punched his door and screamed and he said he didnt. After that I laid in my bed in my dorm room and had visual and auditory hallucinations. I didn't hear voices but I heard footsteps that repeated incessantly in the same pattern. It definitely wasn't real. Then, a few weeks ago I was smoking with some friends, and one of my friends was talking to me and he happened to be smiling... but then his face changed into a glaring face and he glared at me for a brief moment. It happened in a blink of an eye... DEFINITELY wasn't real. I could tell that it was not reality when it happened.

I also looked up some symptoms of schizophrenia and I noticed thought insertion and thought broadcasting. Can you guys tell me if I have those? Sometimes I will think that something else puts certain thoughts into my mind... I usually think it's God doing it. Other times I worry "what if my friends just heard what I was just thinking". Or sometimes when im in a social situation I will imagine in my mind that they heard what I was thinking and I would get blushed in the face and my friends will ask me why my face is so red. Other times I worry... "what if my friends saw a video of one of my sessions with my psychiatrist... I'd probably kill myself before they could see it so i don't have to face the embarrassment." I will add on another note that i'm not suicidal at all... i'm quite terrified of death actually... maybe a little too much.

Any input? Don't hesitate to say what you really think please...

edit: Oh, and i forgot to mention... I also have auditory and tactile hallucinations when i'm not high on marijuana. It generally always has to do with my cell phone. I will frequently think that i hear my cell phone ringing when nobody is actually calling me. My tactile hallucination has to do with my cell phone as well... my phone vibrates when I get a text or call as well. my phone will be in my pocket and i'll feel a vibration on the exact section of my thigh that my phone is sitting on through my pocket.

All those drugs can't be doing any good. I gather that their effects can last quite a while.

Im the same age as you and have been wondering the same thing. I have a lot of the same symptoms as you and more. Im not in the position to tell you if you have schizophrenia or not, but you do seem to have some of the symptoms. You should get a psychiatrist and get an experts opinion. I have been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety disorder, but nothing else so far.

Also, I dont think all of those drugs will help much. I had a period where I did drugs to escape all of this and ended up paying for it by being even worse than I was before. I used to take drugs because I wanted to hallucinate and live in a fantasy cartoon world because my life was hell...sadly I didnt get to live in a fantasy world and now I just live in a bad unending dream. For example, in high school I used to smoke a whole joint or blunt of weed by myself and go home and sit in a dark room and wish I lived in a cartoon. I know see static around everything and my vision is messed up, I also hear high pitched ringing noises all the time and it gives me a bad headache.

I dont take any drugs now or alcohol, except I smoke a little weed once or twice a week because if I dont I go crazy and have extreme anxiety or panic attacks, weed is the only thing that can calm me down. Ill take minor psychosis over unending panic attacks and anxiety any day. But yeah, Im not in the position to say if you have schizophrenia or not, but you should get it checked out and ask about it. Tell them what your symptoms are and everything.

Some of those drugs could cause hallucinations, and it could be (not say it is), drug-induced psychosis. Then again, it may not be that. I do have schizophrenia. I've seen countless of things that would make no sense whatsoever. Here's an example of a farily mild one (happened a few days ago):

I was walking the dog with my mum at night, and on the road was a reflection of the light from the streetlamp that had reflected off some surface and now was on the road. My mother did see this (she's not schizophrenic), so I know that part was real. As I kept walking, the light turned into more of an outlne of a human, with hands, a face, feet, legs, fingers, etc... . It stood up and moved around. Then, it sat down, glared at me, pointed a finger at me then lay down while still pointing. As I walked past it (using my mom and dog as a shield), it kept moving around, so I sped up and later slowed down and it had vanished.

I do have various thoughts about broadcasting and about people coming after me. I feel that my thoughts are being broadcasted to others, more specifically a group of people (believed to have seen them in hallucinations) that will come after me and hunt me down. I feel that other people know of this yet constantly hide it up whenever i'm around by acting all casual but really are watching me. They have electrical devices that are monitored by this group that help find exactly where i am. Some of these conspicious things are like if a crossing guard waves to people to come across, he's actually saying for them to cross because i'm in that direction. he wants to be conspicious so i don't feel more threatened and so i won't run off but i know he (and the others) can still hear my thoughts because they're routed through a large speaker where all of them can hear it.

i'm not too sure on insertion because they're very good at hiding things up. i know barcodes on items (i.e. tomatoes) can stick to your finger so it'll take your fingerprint. i think that if they can read my thoughts, they can also put things in. here is where i think the voices i hear really are them degrading me, commenting on things/people, commanding me to do things, etc... because they have very sophisticated technology, like the opposite of a brain-fixing machine.

> I do have various thoughts about broadcasting and about people coming after me. I feel that my thoughts are being broadcasted to others...

Your sense that these things are happening may be related to your past experience that people pick up on your emotional state. Do you think this could help explain some of your feelings?

I got my DSM-IV out for you guys.

I would be inclined to say your problems and symptoms could be drug-induced as pachyderm said. Not only that, but it may not be schizophrenia but a related disorder.

"I'm 19 and I've had anxiety and depression for the majority of my life... my mom is bipolar if that's relevant."

If you are at a higher risk of an affective disorder because of family history and your own history then I think you should also look at other possibilities - Schizoaffective disorder, for instance.

Referential delusions are relatively common in schizophrenia; referential is basically believing "certain gestures, comments, passages from books, newspapers, song lyrics, or other environmental cues are specifically directed at him or her". I've heard of a lot of people getting messages from television shows, for example.

Most of this sounds like sporadic incidents of psychosis versus an episode which would indicate a potential to build up into an episode if the symptoms are escalating. It could very well be the onset of something, schizophrenia or otherwise.

Either way, go see a doctor because we aren't doctors. A psychologist can diagnose you (in my opinion better than a psychiatrist) but a psychiatrist is able to treat you medicinally as well.

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comeclarity said:
My tactile hallucination has to do with my cell phone as well... my phone vibrates when I get a text or call as well. my phone will be in my pocket and i'll feel a vibration on the exact section of my thigh that my phone is sitting on through my pocket.

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Sorry - I meant to add in to this...

Those are ghost vibrations... a lot of people who have cell phones that vibrate actually feel ghost vibrations fairly often. Not saying it isn't an issue - how often does this occur to you?

I right there along side of you my good fellow. I have had a multitude of these various symptoms and now am seeking some blasted relief!

For more than one year now, I've had a whole multitude of delusions hallucinations and negative symptoms and I'm only fourteen. At times, it was Satan, at times it was the CIA or FBI, at times it was even God! But usually a clear pattern; everyone is working for them, can read my thoughts, everything around me is a hidden message and usually I'll have several voices commenting on it. Intelligent voices at that. I was reading Kay Redfield Jamison's Touched with Fire and it makes several insinuations about schizophrenia, such as that schizophrenic people, or at least the majority are not artists. I was rather surprised as I need only look at Roky Erickson, Syd Barret, Jack Kerouac, Van Gogh (schizoaffective is my opinion on him) or the creator of Jazz. Mostly musical I noticed, but still. I'm more of the philosopher/writer/mathematician myself. My dream is to someday be a college professor and publish several books, make a name for myself do something innovative and daring that will be remembered and all of that.

So the message is, regardless of the illness or the symptomatic course, the person within will ultimately emerge and either find it's true brilliance or true folly. Such is the risk of any man.

dang. that was very well said. i completely agree.

katie

Thank you.

I agree COMPLETLEY with seeing a psychologist over a psychiatrist!!!
If the psychologist thinks it is something might might benefit from medication and/or wants to rule out a medical disorder, then he psychologist can refer him to a psychiatrist that he trusts and they can collaborate. That, will get you the best care (and actually I see a GP in place of a psychiatrist, which is okay in my situation).