[redbandit]

For a long time, my goals were graduating college, that took 6 years. Another major goal was getting married to my love. We got married a year and a half ago, after knowing each other since 2005. I figured we would get good jobs since we graduated college, get a house, kids, etc. (not that we can't in the future, I'm just so sick of waiting) He has a good enough job, at least it's an actual career. I just work part time at the mall.
Sorry if I'm rambling here, I just don't know who else to talk to about this. Well I get better advice here lol
Anyway, since college I've gotten depressed, I don't know how to get a purpose back in my life. I'm sad that the wedding is over too, pathetic as it may sound.
I'm thankful I have a job now, but I feel like I'm wasting time, and need to find meaning again.
I hope this post makes some sense at least. I just feel empty all the time.
Any suggestions?

[wiltedxdaisy]

Yes, your post makes sense! I can relate a bit to what you're feeling... I too feel empty a lot and like I have no meaning in my life. I am engaged, but we have no money for the wedding and are staying with my parents right now. I am on SSDI and my Fiance does freelance work, which is not always reliable. I feel like I am ready to start a life, but the resources just aren't there. It's very frustrating. Are there some small goals you could try setting for yourself? Or since you are feeling sad about the wedding being over, what about doing something special with your loved one? Me and my Fiance like to have a special "Date Night" every Thursday. Or.. have you considered renewing your vows? I know a lot of people like to do that. Wishing you wonderful things in life!

--Angel

[redbandit]

Congrats on your engagement weddings are expensive for sure! I would love to have a little renewal of vows ceremony. We are planning to go away for a weekend, really need a mini vacation

[wiltedxdaisy]

Thank you, I appreciate that! And yay! Glad to hear you two will be getting away for a weekend! Really hope it makes you feel better! Sometimes a nice little trip or getaway can do wonders for you. I am leaving to go on a trip to Seattle in about a week and am hoping it will be a nice break from all my appointments and the everyday blahness. May we both have a good time!

[SeekingZen]

Hi redbandit,

Yes, you made sense, lol. I've felt this way many times...even now in fact.

Have you thought of starting your own business on the side? Perhaps you could go into something like wedding planning. You may find fulfillment in helping others plan their special events.

What did you go to school for and what are you passionate about now? Is there something related to your degree that you could pursue? If not, have you considered grad school? Have tried volunteering? Helping others can be just as rewarding for you as it is for those you're helping....

Hope you find something that gives you a sense of purpose and joy!

[Perna]

I like this online book: Welcome to the home of Barbara Sher's WISHCRAFT! and her other books, which the local libraries often have.

[redbandit]

Originally Posted by SeekingZen

Hi redbandit,

Yes, you made sense, lol. I've felt this way many times...even now in fact.

Have you thought of starting your own business on the side? Perhaps you could go into something like wedding planning. You may find fulfillment in helping others plan their special events.

[I have thought about it, there isn't a big market for that in my area, and I think I like it better as a hobby. I always have a friend getting married lol]

What did you go to school for and what are you passionate about now? Is there something related to your degree that you could pursue? If not, have you considered grad school? Have tried volunteering? Helping others can be just as rewarding for you as it is for those you're helping....

[I went to school for public relations and advertising, which I really liked. Haven't been able to land a job in it though. If I relocate, maybe. We can't do that right now though, my husband likes his job.
My gpa was too low for grad school, I could study for the entrance exam, I don't want more student loans. I think I need to get an internship (PR) then maybe I could get more connections and land a job in my field. I did one before, but more stuff to put on the resume helps ]
Hope you find something that gives you a sense of purpose and joy!

I really appreciate all the feedback!
Thanks guys

[Sunluvr]

Ever since my children grew up and left home , I feel as if I have no purpose in my life . While raising my children is the only time of happiness I've ever had in my life.
I now live all alone b:c my husband divorced me and to make things worse , he told my 19 year old son such horrid lies about me that my beloved boy will not even speak to me. My daughter goes to college in LA so I hardly see her.
My life is woefully lonely and entirely devoid of purpose.

[dave007]

You can always pick up some hobbies to make your life more exciting

[Little Miss Death]

life will always be meaningless. it sounds like you've done enough though.

[dpcrew]

One thing that has helped me a lot over the years is deciding to do something that takes some effort that you think you'll like. And writing down (online is best for me) the detailed steps to make it happen. And commit to doing the thing - you are practicing following through, the thing itself is almost beside the point.....but the feeling of progressing towards ANYTHING is awesome, and it's like building a muscle....you keep doing it consistently and you see results.

[Hope.Floater]

makes so much since considering I am there with you on this one. My first question for you is what did you major in while at college? If your still interested in pursuing that career maybe volunteering to get your foot back in the door maybe something of interest and may bring down that anxiety, build up confidence and gear you mentally toward the job change a bit. If you feel you are at a stalemate with life because of the family building... lack of kid's talk to the hubbie about it and really make sure it's something you both agree on. If the hubs is unsure work together and start a little family planning and see where it takes you both
The hubbie time... Romantic night out... weekend get away.... spend time taking a walk. I find walking and talking to be very beneficial especially with all the wonderful decoration with the season and if you guys get a wild streak laser tag is awesome at letting out some of that extra energy lol.
I hope this sparks some good idea's for you. I am in the same boat you are with the job stuff and I wish you the best of luck as you travel this journey...

[BLUEDOVE]

Ask self what can I CONTRIBUTE to the world
that I will enjoy doing?

[Marius Massie]

Redbandit,
You are not alone. With your permission, I'd like to point you to a free resource that I know can help you. I was once in a similar place, and a few simple steps helped transform my life.

God bless you,
Marius

[redbandit]

Just now saw your message . I would definitely be open to hearing your suggestions . Thanks!

[tranquility84]

Perhaps it helps to be more learning-oriented, instead of being goal-oriented. We have been conditioned over our lives to be always achieving some form of goal in the future - be it getting a degree, getting a job, getting married, saving for retirement etc etc. So life is constantly about "getting" something done - we over-focus on the ends, and more often than not neglect making the "means" to the end count too. There are things to be learnt, and meaning to be experienced in many things, if we remind ourselves to see things not the way they "should be", but just as they are. I know it's easier said than done; but try it anyhow - try to change the way u see things - u may be pleasantly surprised.

[Indigoviolet]

Originally Posted by Sunluvr

Ever since my children grew up and left home , I feel as if I have no purpose in my life . While raising my children is the only time of happiness I've ever had in my life.
I now live all alone b:c my husband divorced me and to make things worse , he told my 19 year old son such horrid lies about me that my beloved boy will not even speak to me. My daughter goes to college in LA so I hardly see her.
My life is woefully lonely and entirely devoid of purpose.

Hi there Sunluvr, Indigoviolet here--my search for purpose is ongoing...and i know how it feels to be alone--sometimes walkabout helps me, when the weather permits...as lately its been cold and ridiculously crappy out there...on the wander i come across things, ideas and interesting people to talk to...sometimes just the beauty of the natural world lifts me up enough to consider what could be possible--i've been wandering alot lately--also having some kind of work helps too...though i'm down to temp work at this point...do you have anythings you really love to do? Like things that give you a good feeling when you do them? Sometimes the trail to purpose can start with these--like finding a shiny stone, pick it up and keep moving...with me its creating a beautiful piece of artwork/jewelry...when i can work--getting past my own internal judge--to just create...that can give some sense of purpose..Its hard i know to move out from under the crushing weight of what used to be and try to refashion another life from the rubble of the old one...i've been trying for 4 years and just now its getting easier--but the bad days still come...you are not alone. Hope you find some wonderful dream soon to lift you up so you can see your way to some better times--you deserve it! my reply sends a hug--even though i have not mastered the little face thingys...best of luck also...