What's your conflict resolution style?

Very nice thread, Sky, and you have obviously done a lot of work for us here! Thanks for sharing.

The only thing I might add to this conversation that hasn't yet come up, is the fact that we are communicating via the written word only. We do not have the benefit of facial expression, tone, cadence, body language etc. which adds a great deal to communication. I think that possibly things that may appear to be antagonistic in the written form may not be how the writer intended it to be received. Then, there is misunderstanding which gives way to frustration, which leads to bad feelings, which is felt to be unsupportive, which goes on and on and on...until the thread goes away or gets locked.

Just my two copper...
Best,
Okie

Dr. Clay,

I think we are a lot alike, and I like your stuff very much. I haven't read it all yet, but I'll keep coming back to it as much as I have time. This looks really useful. I could probably even justify reading it at work, since tomorrow I have to go to a meeting with the city bus and public transportation company to discuss a behavior plan for a couple of clients who got kicked off the bus for fighting. I think I could use some of this. It also looks like something we could use around here on this site.

I think that we all probably use some of all of the negotiation styles, including the less desirable ones. Old habits, you know? And, like you say, they may all have their uses if one is able to select what is appropriate for the situation. I try to also be a communicator, as I think that is important too, but I am not always all that great at communicating effectively.

As I continue to think about HOW someone could change their style if they wish to... what would be required for this to happen?

One thing I think... is to be sure that they are HEARING what is really being said. Usually, in communicating, if we are unsure, or if we know we have a problem understanding or assuming, we repeat back what the person is saying.

Maybe more of this could happen here at PC, and perhaps we could all try harder. I know I will...but I'm also concerned that by rephrasing and asking if that's what they meant, it might be taken as an affront... so it won't be easy... will it?