Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Feb 18, 2007, 11:11 AM
Perna's Avatar
Perna Perna is offline
Pandita-in-training
 
Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
I was just thinking about how most posts/thinking are about problems we're having or things that are hurting or confusing us at the moment and wondered how a "diet" of interactions like that might affect one in the long run.

Now I think of problem solving as a positive thing and look for opportunities in things that go wrong :-) and realize "all sun makes a desert" and that when things are going well, there's nothing that needs to be "done" about them, etc. but I worry when I go looking for things to work on?

Even a forum of "self-help ideas" imply one needs to/might be interested in helping or "improving" one's self. Occasionally I like to turn things around and look at opposites; I have made lists of "Ten things I'm not going to do today" :-) and often when I'm thinking about my weight, I realize that if I were to eat and exercise at what would maintain me at whatever weight I want to weigh, then I'd gain/lose depending on where I am now without doing "anything" special. Often the first thing we think about when we want to lose weight is how few calories we should eat but if we ate more, but less than we do now that we're overweight and gaining, that would work too?

So, how would you make change and growth in yourself positive and "fun" rather than a problem or project or somthing that has to be "fixed"? I go to my refrigerator too often and look inside and I've thought of the idea of putting a book(s) inside to nourish myself with instead.

I have various reading and papers due for school and am procrastinating working on them; I have vacuuming and cleaning that needs doing (two cats I'm allergic too and a too perfumey litter I otherwise like but they're getting it on themselves then spreading the smell everywhere); the backside of my house has construction happening and is "open" to the elements and water is getting in under my carpet and "rotting" so there's a heavy smell of mold (which I think I'm especially allergic to) and my asthma is acting up. However, I feel powerless to do anything about that since I can't make the construction people come in the cold and ice and finish and can't afford to rip up the carpet (and don't want to see what may be festering underneath especially before the problem's fixed) and I'm running out of asthma meds and my health care professional changed offices/affiliations and I haven't gotten in touch with her in her new situation yet. So I have various niggling worries happening and am wishing I could change them from "worries" to "things I look forward to doing" :-)
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius

advertisement
  #2  
Old Feb 18, 2007, 11:34 AM
SeptemberMorn's Avatar
SeptemberMorn SeptemberMorn is offline
Most Legendary Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
I would change all those negatives to possitives. Instead of saying "I will not..." say "I WILL..." with a smile on your face and think of how happy you'll be when you do one of those things and/or reach your goal. Positive
__________________


Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
  #3  
Old Feb 18, 2007, 11:45 AM
(JD)'s Avatar
(JD) (JD) is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2003
Location: Coram Deo
Posts: 35,474
I think it does harm (and no good) to view things negatively, whether for a change or not. The mind is a terrible thing to confuse...and it takes a lot to change what negative was put into it. I would reinforce the actions that are good for me, the thoughts/thinking that will help me feel good and progressively better.

We have tried in years past to continue with good thought threads and frankly, they end quickly ... or they would. Now that we have these 2 new forums, self help and spirituality, we have a good opportunity to think better, imo.

I could not allow the situation you are living in to continue. I am allergic and it could kill me to try. I'm sorry you are having to put up with that, for whatever limiting reasons you do have. Positive Hopefully it will soon be cleared up. Please take your list and see what you can cross off as finished on it. We all have those lists, and it's called Life. I am working on mine today, too.

TC!
__________________
Positive
Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU!

Want to share your Christian faith? Click HERE
  #4  
Old Feb 18, 2007, 05:04 PM
nothemama8's Avatar
nothemama8 nothemama8 is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2004
Location: PA USA
Posts: 7,878
Perna, I think we all need to look to the positive
__________________
Positive
A good day is when the crap hits the fan and I have time to duck.
  #5  
Old Feb 21, 2007, 09:07 PM
Flinty's Avatar
Flinty Flinty is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 123
The last couple months of my life have been focusing on positives in every situation.....

My depression was always fueled by negativity & once I started it was so hard to pull myself up again.
So I decided to out aside the negativity & focus on positives.

I was bloody hard & tiresome, but I am making progress & feeling better for it.

Positive
  #6  
Old Feb 21, 2007, 09:09 PM
Wants2Fly's Avatar
Wants2Fly Wants2Fly is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2004
Location: Southeast Florida
Posts: 3,355
I agree.
__________________
Positive
  #7  
Old Feb 23, 2007, 10:05 AM
Calm's Avatar
Calm Calm is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,058
Positive versus the negative = an ongoing duel for me.
  #8  
Old Feb 24, 2007, 12:05 AM
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I try too to see things as positive as I can. Sometime it's hard but it really do help.
  #9  
Old Feb 24, 2007, 10:43 AM
Peanuts Peanuts is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 297
Trying to find the positive in situations is kind of like looking for treasure .. really hard sometimes but the reward is great.
  #10  
Old Feb 24, 2007, 01:05 PM
Perna's Avatar
Perna Perna is offline
Pandita-in-training
 
Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
I guess I'm thinking about the whole focus; this is good/positive this is bad/negative, the whole striving for a certain affect instead of just letting ourselves be and responding in the moment to what arises. I overthink and overanalyze things. I love to work on my school work but work on it too much and consequently worry about that and look for ways to "balance." The whole too much/too little or too much/must-be-escaping a problem attitude.

I've learned that truly, what we do day-to-day becomes habit and harder and harder to break. I use to not study and avoid "applying" myself so I finally after many years saw what to me was a negative pattern and started to correct it. Well, my habitual "making" myself study and learning/remembering I love the work, etc. now I do it too often at the expense of meeting and interacting with people (what "Life" is about I feel) and so I feel good that I am a great student, writer, researcher, etc. that I've learned in the last 15 years since I've been working on that but I'm moving away again (in a different direction) from people just as surely as I was when I was a bookworm and before and was in therapy, etc.

While it's true that my interests lie with books and more "comfortable," quiet pursuits by nature, I was born a bit "shy" and was a timid toddler :-) I don't like that I allow myself to go in that direction only and get away with it :-) I'm going to commit myself to starting to get "out" and be with people more (whether I like it or not :-) and see if I can't get a more balanced "personality" going.

"Naturally" less studying, and more spontaneous just going out. . . I'll see where it leads.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
  #11  
Old Feb 26, 2007, 07:57 PM
UmightKnowMe UmightKnowMe is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2007
Posts: 31
I 'get' what you are saying. It is all a matter of perspective. and also 'garbage in' garbage out...if you spend all your time looking at what is wrong well then that is all you will see isn't it? We need balance...it is a delicate thing...are we being irresponsible not striving to better ourselves and change? or are we holding ourselves back by keeping our focus on 'If only I did this" and not celebrating "Look I did this!!" What good is it to climb a mountain if you don't take time to enjoy the view along the way?
  #12  
Old Feb 26, 2007, 08:04 PM
(JD)'s Avatar
(JD) (JD) is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2003
Location: Coram Deo
Posts: 35,474
Hmmm Some of what you explain is definitely perfectionism. That could be causing you to revisit all the bad stuff and wishing you had done better, and wanting to make things right that just can't be...

I would work on that issue. I had to for myself, when I first finished college, or the perfectionism would have literally killed me.

TC!
__________________
Positive
Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU!

Want to share your Christian faith? Click HERE
Reply
Views: 1337

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How do I think positive? Choloe Anxiety, Panic and Phobias 3 Jun 08, 2008 07:18 PM
Something positive wanttoheal Dissociative Disorders 20 Apr 28, 2008 07:48 PM
Positive qualites? What positive qualities? Rio_ Steps to Better Self-Esteem 22 Apr 18, 2007 04:15 PM
positive thinking game.name one positive thing about you. beckyb342 Schizophrenia and Psychosis 7 Jan 02, 2007 01:51 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:08 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.