Positive

I was just thinking about how most posts/thinking are about problems we're having or things that are hurting or confusing us at the moment and wondered how a "diet" of interactions like that might affect one in the long run.

Now I think of problem solving as a positive thing and look for opportunities in things that go wrong :-) and realize "all sun makes a desert" and that when things are going well, there's nothing that needs to be "done" about them, etc. but I worry when I go looking for things to work on?

Even a forum of "self-help ideas" imply one needs to/might be interested in helping or "improving" one's self. Occasionally I like to turn things around and look at opposites; I have made lists of "Ten things I'm not going to do today" :-) and often when I'm thinking about my weight, I realize that if I were to eat and exercise at what would maintain me at whatever weight I want to weigh, then I'd gain/lose depending on where I am now without doing "anything" special. Often the first thing we think about when we want to lose weight is how few calories we should eat but if we ate more, but less than we do now that we're overweight and gaining, that would work too?

So, how would you make change and growth in yourself positive and "fun" rather than a problem or project or somthing that has to be "fixed"? I go to my refrigerator too often and look inside and I've thought of the idea of putting a book(s) inside to nourish myself with instead.

I have various reading and papers due for school and am procrastinating working on them; I have vacuuming and cleaning that needs doing (two cats I'm allergic too and a too perfumey litter I otherwise like but they're getting it on themselves then spreading the smell everywhere); the backside of my house has construction happening and is "open" to the elements and water is getting in under my carpet and "rotting" so there's a heavy smell of mold (which I think I'm especially allergic to) and my asthma is acting up. However, I feel powerless to do anything about that since I can't make the construction people come in the cold and ice and finish and can't afford to rip up the carpet (and don't want to see what may be festering underneath especially before the problem's fixed) and I'm running out of asthma meds and my health care professional changed offices/affiliations and I haven't gotten in touch with her in her new situation yet. So I have various niggling worries happening and am wishing I could change them from "worries" to "things I look forward to doing" :-)

I would change all those negatives to possitives. Instead of saying "I will not..." say "I WILL..." with a smile on your face and think of how happy you'll be when you do one of those things and/or reach your goal.

I think it does harm (and no good) to view things negatively, whether for a change or not. The mind is a terrible thing to confuse...and it takes a lot to change what negative was put into it. I would reinforce the actions that are good for me, the thoughts/thinking that will help me feel good and progressively better.

We have tried in years past to continue with good thought threads and frankly, they end quickly ... or they would. Now that we have these 2 new forums, self help and spirituality, we have a good opportunity to think better, imo.

I could not allow the situation you are living in to continue. I am allergic and it could kill me to try. I'm sorry you are having to put up with that, for whatever limiting reasons you do have. Hopefully it will soon be cleared up. Please take your list and see what you can cross off as finished on it. We all have those lists, and it's called Life. I am working on mine today, too.

TC!

Perna, I think we all need to look to the positive

The last couple months of my life have been focusing on positives in every situation.....

My depression was always fueled by negativity & once I started it was so hard to pull myself up again.
So I decided to out aside the negativity & focus on positives.

I was bloody hard & tiresome, but I am making progress & feeling better for it.

I agree.

Positive versus the negative = an ongoing duel for me.

I try too to see things as positive as I can. Sometime it's hard but it really do help.

Trying to find the positive in situations is kind of like looking for treasure .. really hard sometimes but the reward is great.

I guess I'm thinking about the whole focus; this is good/positive this is bad/negative, the whole striving for a certain affect instead of just letting ourselves be and responding in the moment to what arises. I overthink and overanalyze things. I love to work on my school work but work on it too much and consequently worry about that and look for ways to "balance." The whole too much/too little or too much/must-be-escaping a problem attitude.

I've learned that truly, what we do day-to-day becomes habit and harder and harder to break. I use to not study and avoid "applying" myself so I finally after many years saw what to me was a negative pattern and started to correct it. Well, my habitual "making" myself study and learning/remembering I love the work, etc. now I do it too often at the expense of meeting and interacting with people (what "Life" is about I feel) and so I feel good that I am a great student, writer, researcher, etc. that I've learned in the last 15 years since I've been working on that but I'm moving away again (in a different direction) from people just as surely as I was when I was a bookworm and before and was in therapy, etc.

While it's true that my interests lie with books and more "comfortable," quiet pursuits by nature, I was born a bit "shy" and was a timid toddler :-) I don't like that I allow myself to go in that direction only and get away with it :-) I'm going to commit myself to starting to get "out" and be with people more (whether I like it or not :-) and see if I can't get a more balanced "personality" going.

"Naturally" less studying, and more spontaneous just going out. . . I'll see where it leads.

I 'get' what you are saying. It is all a matter of perspective. and also 'garbage in' garbage out...if you spend all your time looking at what is wrong well then that is all you will see isn't it? We need balance...it is a delicate thing...are we being irresponsible not striving to better ourselves and change? or are we holding ourselves back by keeping our focus on 'If only I did this" and not celebrating "Look I did this!!" What good is it to climb a mountain if you don't take time to enjoy the view along the way?

Hmmm Some of what you explain is definitely perfectionism. That could be causing you to revisit all the bad stuff and wishing you had done better, and wanting to make things right that just can't be...

I would work on that issue. I had to for myself, when I first finished college, or the perfectionism would have literally killed me.

TC!