going to bed for the night consistently

@SquarePegGuy @Nammu - You guys make a lot of sense. I am good at beating myself up, so I keep saying things like "I shouldn't be" because I feel it is wrong to feel those feelings. But you guys are right, I have to acknowledge and feel them. And I also have to grieve, which I haven't accepted yet. I don't want to wish bad things on him, but I really want him to find peace.

I really should join CODA again, (Codependency Anonymous), they were really helpful in the past.

Yes! Now it makes sense. I thought that the sleep psychologist had mentioned OSCAR but I doubted my recollection, believing that I might have gotten confused since everybody was watching the OSCARs (but me). But now, my recollection was indeed correct. I will look it up. Thank you!

I slept until late this morning, getting up shortly before 10AM and having long and meaningful dreams. I then had a good day and even played a racket sport.

Tonight I will try to go to bed by 11PM. Good night, Nammu, Lady Shadow, Square Peg Guy, and whoever else is following along!

I never did get to bed by 9:30pm last night, due to strange Word Processor behavior while try to do quick blog post. I got to bed by about 10:10 and then read a chapter of a book. The chapter was longer than I expected, so I didn't turn out the lights until about 11pm. Then I woke up at 6:00, 6:10, 6:50. LOL

Aiming for 9:45pm tonight with 45 minutes of reading.

Got to bed early for me and tried to read but was too tired. Yet spent the night tossing and turning. Vivid dreams during the time I did sleep. Tonight I’m taking the extra ambien so I can sleep and get up fresh tomorrow as I have a full day planed with my daughter and I need to be fresh for the drive. I find it odd that extra meds rejuvenate me instead of making me tired or drowsy the next day

I woke up way too early, logging only 4 hrs 15 mins of sleep. Did some computer 'errans" such as paying bill. Took a morning nap, after which my total net sleep went up to 6 hrs 15 mi s which is still low for me. After work meeting and solitary work, tried napping but could not fall asleep. I ascribe all that to the challenging emotional stuff I have been going through lately.

Went to Orangetheory in the evening. Quickly learned that being underslept, I cannot really get my heart rate up without getting an uncomfortable feeling in my heart area, but I still can do strength exercises and medium intensity cardio. Overall, I enjoyed the workout and am really glad I did not skip it even though tired.

Being a good girl tonight: turning out the lights at 10:25 PM.

tomorrow, the first work meeting is at 9. I hope to be well slept for it.

I met last night's goal. Tonight I'll be in by 10pm and read for 30 to 45 minutes. Tomorrow's a Work From Home (WFH) day, so it's okay to get up an half hour later or so.

Will get to bed in about 15 minutes for an 11pm bedtime. Woke up really early because I was choking, I don't know why, maybe something got into the mask? Will probably have to clean out my hoses, I am supposed to really clean them every week.

Hope everyone has a good rest tonight.

Even though I went to bed earlier last night, I did not have a particularly restful night and at 7AM with my first alarm I was not ready to face the day. I did my dental hygiene and everything but then went back to bed. Surprise! I had deep sleep and barely woke up with the 8:30 alarm. I needed that extra morning sleep: with that, I had logged 7 hrs 13 minutes, went to the office, had a very productive day and only now at 8PM something got home. I am going to use the rowing machine for a bit and then go to bed at a reasonable time again: tomorrow I have to be in the office and I have many meetings, starting at 9.

So I did not go exercise on the rower: i was too tired. I spent time on this site, I wrote some messages, including a detailed letter to my brother, and I ate supper. Now I am going to bed. At least when I did all of that writing, I stood at my desk in its standing position, which was a welcome change after sitting for hours and hours in the office.

10:50 PM tonight. Later than I planned. but I will be OK tomorrow. I can stay in bed until 8:30 AM.

Again I met last night's goal, but the morning wakefulness was evasive. I thought I was well-rested at 6am, but then I found myself waking up again at 7:15!

Tonight I'll be in bed by 10:05pm, then read for about 30 to 40 minutes and have lights out at 10:45pm.

Thanks for this thread / topic TCJ! Nighty night!

Isolated and heartbroken. This is day two of no-contact. This is so hard. I had a friend today tell me that I'm heartbroken and it's okay to grieve, so that's exactly what I did today. Don't know if I'll sleep on time because I couldn't get out of bed this morning. I am so sorry if I sound like a broken record with this, but it is really hard. I invested so much of myself into this person, and it failed so miserably, and I feel so bad. I miss him, and I am angry at myself that I do. I can't even pray, because I feel that even God can't help me with this.

So, I will take my meds in about an hour and try to get to bed at midnight. Hopefully I sleep.

Thank you so much for this thread being here, it's nice to see you guys so positive doing really good things. When I get out of this, I really hope to join you.

Don't apologize! Be that "broken record" for as long as it takes. As you say, you have invested so much of myself into this person, and therefore it would be completely unrealistic to expect that you could walk away from this sort of investment easily and fast. Of course you are wounded!

I did not sleep well last night, according to Oura, and I barely hit any deep sleep. I woke up at 7AM with the first alarm, did oral hygiene, went to bed, slept more, got up at 8:45 AM in time for my first WFH meeting, barely managed to stay awake during the meeting (had video/audio off except when I needed to talk and was making and drinking lattes, not because I depend on caffeine for wakefulness –caffeine does absolutely nothing and I can go straight to bed after having it, but because I was hungry). Then, took a nap and barely woke up after 12PM. Then went to the office, had a very productive day and after it went to the gym for over an hour of cardio, including high intensity when my HR climbed up to 96% of MAX. After the workout, took a hot shower. They say that taking a hot shower before bedtime helps one sleep. I hope so.

11:00 PM nighty night! I am so happy that both of you LadyShadow and SquarePegGuy are finding the thread useful.

***

PS forgot to mention. I think I learned something about myself. Yesterday I took Seroquel too early, way before bedtime. I then noticed that I could not fall asleep, that Seroquel was not acting on my. So I got up after trying for a long time, and took another dose. After it I fell asleep soon, but I wonder if the extreme sleepiness next morning was from the double dose of Seroquel. I do not want to test this hypothesis. From now on, I will stick to taking Seroquel immediately before bedtime.

@Tart Cherry Jam thank you so much for this! I really appreciate it, it's been a long hard road, and I am just now learning to navigate it without him. Today is a much better day mostly because I got 9 hours of sleep last night! I think with all the crying and grieving it took a lot out of me and I just sort of collapsed.

One thing I will say about nighttime meds, and especially Seroquel, sometimes they don't work if you're not somewhat or at least a little bit tired when you take them. If you are still a little energized from the night and still up and about doing things, it won't be a good idea to take them even if your intent is to go straight to bed. Definite don't recommend taking a double dose because that morning hangover is the worst. But yeah, try and get yourself at least somewhat sleepy before taking it.

Aiming for 10:35pm bedtime tonight (in 10 minutes), no reading.

Aiming for midnight this time for Friday night. Today was a good day, feel positive for future. Learning about trauma bonding and how codependent I am.

Last night I went to bed just prior to midnight and took two ambien. Slept great and was waking just before the alarm went off at 7am. Had a long day, easy night, streaming the librarians, reacher, and northern exposure. Have a plethora of books to choose from but my night reading book is a cozy.

Late night tonight watching Svengoolie but want to get to bed before 11pm because I want to be in church early for Palm Sunday. Hope everyone has a restful sleep!