I found a better way to cope with my emotions but...

Well, I've recently decided instead of hurting myself when I get the urge (I don't actually cut or burn or bruise or anything but I still hurt) to draw on myself with a marker instead. I used to draw in a notebook or write but I've shy'd away from that because I'm afraid I'll end up triggered...

Unfortunately...my family doesn't like this AT ALL. My brother yells at me for it, and my dad tells me that "it's not good" for me as though the marker was to seep through my skin and poison my blood. While my mom and step-dad don't exactly disapprove, my mom thinks it's really crazy which makes me sad. I want to tell them it's better then the alternative but I don't want to know what the alternative is.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Kaika)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

you are doing good not hurting your self - they just dont understand whats going on -

heres just a thought - you are drawing instead of hurting right - cna you draw on paper and tehn throw it away?

can you draw on parts of your body that arnt seen?

I hope you can get past this cos not hurtingyourself is a GREAT improvement

P7

(((((Kaika)))))
I agree with phoenix... they just don't understand.

thanks you guys, drew again tonight...I forgot my journal but felt REALLY frustrated, and didn't think it was too appropriate to vent here...I just wanted to shout out that I hate my step-dad because he makes me feel like crap, and I hate my mom for not doing anything about it, and I hate my brother for thinking there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. At the same time having half a mind to visit my step-brother and try out one of his drugs assuming he still does drugs, but then again I though he has a little girl and if at that point he still did drugs it'd be really sad and I'd rather not for the sake of the kid having at least one stable person in their life. Though, I'm not a person who would even consider drugs on a regular basis it was really more of a combination of wanting a desperate relief and probably rebellion too because my step-dad said if he ever caught my brother and I doing that he'd beat the crap out of us (and that is quoting him)

But hey, drawing pictures managed to at least take the edge off until it eventually just went away.

At one hospital where I worked, therapists were asking SI's to try putting ice on their arms instead of cutting or burning. I don't know if that is a sound idea, but it doesn't leave a mark. You might talk about this with your therapist, as I wouldn't want to suggest something that might trigger you rather than relieve you. Sign me, Don't Take My Word for It ~ billieJ

thanks but I like this way better

Hmm I am sure I posted in this before but my reply seems to have been removed Or maybe I didn't post ? Definately read this.

Anyway.

It's a really good thing that you have found an alternative to injuring yourself and this is really positive! Most of the therapists I have known tell you to try alternatives such as drawing on yourself with a marker, sqeeuzing an ice cube etc to replace self harm in the short term and the fact that you are doing this makes me happy!

Sorry if you dont have a T, but if you do, ask her to speak to your family for you. She should explain WHY you do it and that this is a good thing.

Love
< I_T_D >

Btw...forgot to say, feel free to vent here at ANY time. Seriously, we do not mind and will not judge at all. Just. If you feel the need to get something off your chest, you should go ahead and do so and you can do that here - that's what WE are here for (amongst other things)!

Well I guess the only thing mom doesn't like are the smudges that get all over me from the drawings, because it's a washable marker so it tends to get all over me... my step-dad doesn't mind it at all actually, says he has a student who does that when he is bored. My brother just doesn't understand it at all... and my dad today flat out told me to stop. Geez, nobody ever died from a crayola marker tattoo (I don't draw disturbing things either, and if somebody ever did die from it or has gotten sick from it I need some hardcore scientific proof and not something from "The National Inquirer") if small children can lick those markers and still be okay, I think I'm doing just fine.

My only regret is now my favorite blue marker is running out of ink (), I'll have to google that thing that lets you reuse dry markers... something about sticking it in a cup of water for a few days...

(((Kaika))) I do the same thing, and my T and I agree that drawing on paper is just not the same. As an artist, I think that there is something strangely beautiful and expressive about drawing on one's own body. My teachers don't like it when my friend and I draw on our hands, though, because she says we'll get ink poisioning. But it does help, so I have no regrets

I'm glad you've found an alternative to SI

I've tried doing this too. It helped some. I think you can buy special tatoo markers that can be used safely on the body. Don't know how permanent they are.
Just an idea.
Take care, everyone, and stay safe!

This is something I have mentioned to my friends several times, and something I, myself, need to try some time. When they have wanted to SI I have told them to take a washable marker and write or draw on themselves and when they are ready to get rid of it all take a shower and watch it run down the drain. Many have told me it actually works, so, I guess some day I need to take my own advice!

I'm so glad you found this way, and I hope it is working much better than the negative alternatives. Great way to take care of yourself!

MysticRose