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#1
Nov 13, 2009, 04:08 AM
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wow, well it has been almost a year since I cut myself. I have been doing really well even though my life has felt like crap. Not today though. I was pushed to my last straw and I couldnt take it. I didnt have the support of my family, friends or coworkers and I turned to my comfort zone. No one knows about hurting myself, they have asked about the scars but I keep up with the lie I gave--they dont push any further than that. they dont really want to know.
All I know right now is I dont want to do this anymore. I cant keep pretending I am someone I'm not. I hate everything right now--especially myself. No one in my life understands me--so please, anyone.... |
 WePow
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#2
Nov 13, 2009, 06:47 AM
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SI does provide a small distraction to the internal anguish. But then we are left with even more damage and shame. That is a high price to pay. More safe hugs. 
__________________
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| angel730
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#3
Nov 13, 2009, 03:13 PM
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You went a whole year and this is your first slip up. Pick yourself up and keep moving forward.............
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__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#4
Nov 13, 2009, 07:39 PM
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How can anyone know or support you if you don't try to reach out to them? I think you should determine who you can trust and rely on most and have a talk with them. If you don't feel comfortable with this, maybe you should try to find a therapist that you can start to tell your story to. Although to me it seems like you are doing a GREAT job! A whole year!! Maybe you just need to have someone there to support you when you are feeling like crap. Hmmm I have one other idea and that would be a group counseling session, then you would make friends and connections and you guys could exchange numbers to keep each other on the right track.
 I feel like such a hypocrite for trying to give advice when I can't handle my own problems heheh
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#5
Nov 13, 2009, 11:08 PM
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Its really hard for people to understand why people self harm. Its like an alcoholic having drink after being sober for years. Once you give in to self harm it take alot of strength to not do it again. Since I gave in to my self harm I've been dealing with constant thoughts about doing it again I have to remind my self its not a good idea, and if I went a year with out giving in I can do it again. Take one day at time one hour at time one min at time what ever it takes to get threw. |
| angel730
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#6
Nov 16, 2009, 11:34 AM
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Quote:
 
__________________
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#7
Nov 16, 2009, 03:05 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#8
Nov 16, 2009, 03:46 PM
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I read this a few days ago and couldn't reply to it because it pushes some of my own buttons. I relate to that feeling that people don't want to know. It hurts to hell. My family care deeply but given the opportunity to turn away and pretend it isn't happening they will. Friends....ha....the friends i've had in the past have generally all turned a blind eye. I feel so badly for you when you say you can't keep pretending to be someone you're not. I get that. I wish i had some magic words to make it all okay, i pray for someone to say those words daily.......But i hear you, and i really relate.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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