[floridia0672]

hey my name is jay and this is kinda ackard to talk bout becuase it is jsut too hard to trust any1 wwith this info becuase it been used against me in the past. wlel anyways here it goes. i ave been suffering from depression for apporx 6 mts. well also i am a cutter. anyways becasue of my depression over school and loseing this girl that i was truely in love with i just don't see any point of going on anymore. i am seriously thinking of tring to kill my self again. this will be my 6th attemptat this. but anyways i am sure that i will suceed this time. well i just don't know what i should do now some1 please give me soem advice before its too late. im me at floridia0672 on aol or jasonf3437 at msn thanx

[Peanut61]

Hi Jay, and WELCOME to the board. Depression can make us believe that suicide it the only option we have to end our pain, but remember, that is 'depressed thinking' = it is not objective reality. It's obvious that you are hurting really badly right now, and I don't want to in any way diminish the importance of what you are going thru, but the feelings that you are having are not permanent - killing yourself is. Since you know that you could kill yourself, why not decide to stick around for a while to see if things improve. You didn't say whether you are taking any kind of medication for your depression, but anti-depressants do help pull us out of the deep abyss, which, in turn, allows us to think more clearly and more realistically about what other options we may have to our problems, serious though they may be. Also, here's a number you can call toll-free to talk to someone if you are feeling like you may do it any minute, although calling 911 may be a better choice, 1-800 - SUICIDE [1-800-784-2433]; see, also, <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.suicidal.com>http://www.suicidal.com</A>. Also, keep posting here = there is usually someone who will be around on the boards to post to, and this is a very caring group, most of whom understand quite closely where you are coming from. Take care, Jay, and I hope you will post again soon. Warmest regards, Peanut PS. I just tried to IM you on aol to tell you about this post but you were logged off.

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT </font color=blue>

[kvinneakt]

Peanut said it all. You are in a temporary condition. Depression is a process; it takes time and events to get there and likewise to get out. You will get out of it. Find a professional to help you out. Call the suicide hot line or 911. Stay in touch here. Post frequently, as you can, with what is on your mind. It really does help.

Bumper sticker: Wherever you go, there you are

[floridia0672]

well thanx for all of the advice and i have tried to talk to some people but unforntually it only made my life worse. i just don't know what to do i really need help now. idk maybe i would be better off dead there aint anything worthliveing for me anymore. all the people i tried talking to are not my friends anymore and my parents think i am crazy and they want to send me away even more now. before i told them thry wantted me gone but now they really want me to be out of their lives. also i found out i lost 2 other friends in a car wreak the other day and also i lost this other friend cuase her grandmom who she is livein wit said she is never allowed to ever talk to me again and never see me ever again which is rought cuase she saved my life so that makes it even worse on us. but i think i am gonna try suicicde 1 more time maybe i will get lucky and jsut die. i just don't know what else to do anymore.

[Peanut61]

Hi Jay - tis your friend, Peanut again. I'm glad that you came back!! I know that the pain of what you are going thru seems overwhelming right now, but it won't always be that way, and once suicide is done, it cannot be undone, ya know? The current problems that you're going thru, as painful as they are, are not permanent - it's amazing the kinds of things that can happen in the future, even next week, to make things completely different. I know it's hard to believe that when you are feeling so down, but it is true. I hope that you will keep coming here and talk to us, and, don't forget, you can call free the 1-800-SUICIDE number to talk to someone who can listen and talk things over without judgment as often as you want to, because the important thing is that you stick around so that when positive things do start to happen, (and they will), you will be here to enjoy them without so much pain as you feel now. Take care!! Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT </font color=blue>

[Zenobia]

Hey Jay,
I am sorry I haven't been on the last couple of days. I have been dealing with my own mixed up feelings. I hope that you have called the suicide hot line. If you haven't please do or even better considering how strung out you are I would suggest you check into a hospital. I know that may sound scary but it isn't that bad. You get five days just to do nothing but make neat crafts and talk to a bunch of other people who are in the same place you are. I spent lots of time reading and working a communal puzzle. I felt safe and knew that they would keep me safe until I was able to think clearly again. All that stuff you are worried about...well it is just stuff, serious stuff yes, but stuff none the less. If you have a few days away from it you will have a chance to put into perspective. The people at the hospital will be more then happy to help you work through it and get a framework set up for dealing with it. They will also get you on medication to take care of the depression and they can help you get hooked up with people who can help you after you get out. Please consider going to the hospital. If it doesn't work out you can always go back to the way things are now but at least make a strong effort to pull yourself out of the fire before giving up.
Take care,
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson