[wottesworthgurl]

Sorry if this thread is kind of long........I'm going to share most of my life problems on here though.


So...my story is I'm a 12year old female..in the seventh grade..I have no friends at all and I feel like nobody cares about me. I am a very shy person, afraid of what others might think of me. I am also adopted and my race is white/black but I often tell people that I am hispanic. My brothers are both adopted also..one is indian..the other is the same as me black/white we all are three years of age apart. Both of my parents are white (the ones that I live with now.) I never ever met my real mom or dad or even saw a picture of them. I'm too afraid to ask my parents. I have no friends and are constantly lonely. Which is why I resorted to videogames about a year ago on the ps3 (my brothers) I guess you could say I got addicted, I enjoyed playing a gmae called lotr conquest, but it ended.

So I resorted to a new game call of duty modern warfar two. I felt like I could be myself there I could be the loud, outgoing, carefree person that I am and have always wanted everyone to see. I talked on the mic everyday on that game, made friends, told people I was really 17, had online boyfriends, and even sent naked pics of myself over some peoples phone number I got off the ps3. And even posted a fake picture of myself up on facebook. I'm too ugly to be looked at..not photogentic at all.I love playing that game and talking on the mic and actually feeling like I have friends.

But that all ended yesterday, my mom found me up playing at 5am in the morning got really mad cause she said we had church today and hit me and yelled and called me names. My mom makes me feel like crap. I know nobody really loves me at all. I often have thoughts of suicide but I'm too scared to actually go through with it. I often feel like doing it soooooo bad, I know nobody will care. I'm ugly. I know that I'm ugly. And I can't change it. In the 6'th grade (last year) I actually had friends and I wasn't shy, one of them got mad at me and the whole group of people started hating me. Last year I also had a really good friend...but she moved away. I got asked out by guys last year, but never said yes, my parents always tell me I can't have a boyfriend till I'm 17+. I wish I had friends soooo bad but I'm shy and ugly nobody wants to look at me.

Through my early childhood years I believe I was molested by my brother. I won't go into detail. I am a very religious person I guess you could say and am going to wait to have sex after marriage I hope. I love God and he loves me. I believe God and my dog are my only friends. Nobody will ever love me. I wish I had somebody to talk to but I don't. And also my mom took away the videogames forever. My life is over it seems. Videogames was a stress reliever for me and now they're gone forever. What do I do? I've always done good at school....but am thinking I should let my grades drop...nomore videogames ever...at all. I'm a worthless piece of trash, what do I do? People on the ps3 know me as a happy,loving,outgoing and fun person. People in real life know me as a shy and ugly person.


Please respond here or message me if you wanna talk....

[Sannah]

Hi gurl, I'm sorry that you are having a tough time. How is your relationship with your mom usually? I can see how you are very attached to these video games where you can be a different person. How about making that happen in real life? Please do not send any more naked pictures of yourself okay?

[thine_self_untrue]

Hey gurl,
You sound very unhappy with your life at the moment. Why is it that you feel like you have no friends? Are you too shy to make friends? No one seems to want to be your friend? I hope you find some friends, at least here on PC.
There's no reason for you to feel shame about where you came from. You are perfectly beautiful just the way you are. Why not try asking your adopted parents about your birth parents? Maybe they can tell you something that will help you feel connected to those people that gave you life.
What you describe doing online is very, very dangerous and can only hurt you. Please, be yourself. Respect who that person is and don't exploit yourself.
Sweetheart, I'm 16 and my parents aren't ever letting me have a boyfriend (hey, there's always college, right? lol) so know it could be worse.
Please, believe that someone always cares. It might no seem like it, but I think we all effect more than we think we do. If you take yourself out of the picture, you leave a hole that no one else can fill.
Take care.

[Nemo39122]

Originally Posted by wottesworthgurl

Sorry if this thread is kind of long........I'm going to share most of my life problems on here though.


So...my story is I'm a 12year old female..in the seventh grade..I have no friends at all and I feel like nobody cares about me. I am a very shy person, afraid of what others might think of me. I am also adopted and my race is white/black but I often tell people that I am hispanic. My brothers are both adopted also..one is indian..the other is the same as me black/white we all are three years of age apart. Both of my parents are white (the ones that I live with now.) I never ever met my real mom or dad or even saw a picture of them. I'm too afraid to ask my parents. I have no friends and are constantly lonely. Which is why I resorted to videogames about a year ago on the ps3 (my brothers) I guess you could say I got addicted, I enjoyed playing a gmae called lotr conquest, but it ended.

So I resorted to a new game call of duty modern warfar two. I felt like I could be myself there I could be the loud, outgoing, carefree person that I am and have always wanted everyone to see. I talked on the mic everyday on that game, made friends, told people I was really 17, had online boyfriends, and even sent naked pics of myself over some peoples phone number I got off the ps3. And even posted a fake picture of myself up on facebook. I'm too ugly to be looked at..not photogentic at all.I love playing that game and talking on the mic and actually feeling like I have friends.

But that all ended yesterday, my mom found me up playing at 5am in the morning got really mad cause she said we had church today and hit me and yelled and called me names. My mom makes me feel like crap. I know nobody really loves me at all. I often have thoughts of suicide but I'm too scared to actually go through with it. I often feel like doing it soooooo bad, I know nobody will care. I'm ugly. I know that I'm ugly. And I can't change it. In the 6'th grade (last year) I actually had friends and I wasn't shy, one of them got mad at me and the whole group of people started hating me. Last year I also had a really good friend...but she moved away. I got asked out by guys last year, but never said yes, my parents always tell me I can't have a boyfriend till I'm 17+. I wish I had friends soooo bad but I'm shy and ugly nobody wants to look at me.

Through my early childhood years I believe I was molested by my brother. I won't go into detail. I am a very religious person I guess you could say and am going to wait to have sex after marriage I hope. I love God and he loves me. I believe God and my dog are my only friends. Nobody will ever love me. I wish I had somebody to talk to but I don't. And also my mom took away the videogames forever. My life is over it seems. Videogames was a stress reliever for me and now they're gone forever. What do I do? I've always done good at school....but am thinking I should let my grades drop...nomore videogames ever...at all. I'm a worthless piece of trash, what do I do? People on the ps3 know me as a happy,loving,outgoing and fun person. People in real life know me as a shy and ugly person.


Please respond here or message me if you wanna talk....

First, if you ever want to talk more message me anytime.
I think part of why you feel like this is you're creating such a huge double life. I've done the same thing, started when I was your age actually. Why do you tell people you're hispanic? Do you want to meet your biological parents? You say you're ugly, but you also said guys asked you out last year. If they didn't like your looks and personality, why would they ask you out? Don't worry about your parents not allowing boyfriends until you're older, most parents do that. Mine do too, although I think their rule was no boyfriends until 15 or 16. Don't remember lol.

Please don't send naked pictures of yourself to anyone. I know you hear this alot, but it really is dangerous. I know adults say that kind of stuff alot, but I'm not much older than you (I'm 17), does that help?
I know how hard it is to be really shy and not have friends. So until you make friends, which you will, I'll be your friend

Don't let your grades drop! Think of it this way: good grades=college=boyfriend and friends!

Obviously you can still use the computer, there are websites with games that aren't as good as what you used to play, but theyre better than nothing. One is www.omgpop.com, some are pretty fun. Just be careful not to play too much, you don't want to be banned from computer too.

Have you tried making friends at church?

I hope you feel better soon, and remember you can message me anytime you want to talk, about anything

[wottesworthgurl]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Hi gurl, I'm sorry that you are having a tough time. How is your relationship with your mom usually? I can see how you are very attached to these video games where you can be a different person. How about making that happen in real life? Please do not send any more naked pictures of yourself okay?

I dunno....it's kinda on and off. And I'm too shy to make actual friends And I'll try not too..

[wottesworthgurl]

Originally Posted by thine_self_untrue

Hey gurl,
You sound very unhappy with your life at the moment. Why is it that you feel like you have no friends? Are you too shy to make friends? No one seems to want to be your friend? I hope you find some friends, at least here on PC.
There's no reason for you to feel shame about where you came from. You are perfectly beautiful just the way you are. Why not try asking your adopted parents about your birth parents? Maybe they can tell you something that will help you feel connected to those people that gave you life.
What you describe doing online is very, very dangerous and can only hurt you. Please, be yourself. Respect who that person is and don't exploit yourself.
Sweetheart, I'm 16 and my parents aren't ever letting me have a boyfriend (hey, there's always college, right? lol) so know it could be worse.
Please, believe that someone always cares. It might no seem like it, but I think we all effect more than we think we do. If you take yourself out of the picture, you leave a hole that no one else can fill.
Take care.

Yes, I'm too shy to make friends. I mean I guess you could say I talk to people, but still those aren't friends.And I don't wanna ask my parents about my birth parents cause it will make me feel awkward...

[wottesworthgurl]

Originally Posted by Xx_Not_Emo_xX

First, if you ever want to talk more message me anytime.
I think part of why you feel like this is you're creating such a huge double life. I've done the same thing, started when I was your age actually. Why do you tell people you're hispanic? Do you want to meet your biological parents? You say you're ugly, but you also said guys asked you out last year. If they didn't like your looks and personality, why would they ask you out? Don't worry about your parents not allowing boyfriends until you're older, most parents do that. Mine do too, although I think their rule was no boyfriends until 15 or 16. Don't remember lol.

Please don't send naked pictures of yourself to anyone. I know you hear this alot, but it really is dangerous. I know adults say that kind of stuff alot, but I'm not much older than you (I'm 17), does that help?
I know how hard it is to be really shy and not have friends. So until you make friends, which you will, I'll be your friend

Don't let your grades drop! Think of it this way: good grades=college=boyfriend and friends!

Obviously you can still use the computer, there are websites with games that aren't as good as what you used to play, but theyre better than nothing. One is www.omgpop.com, some are pretty fun. Just be careful not to play too much, you don't want to be banned from computer too.

Have you tried making friends at church?

I hope you feel better soon, and remember you can message me anytime you want to talk, about anything

Yeah...I am ugly, just look at my pics. And I tell people that I'm hispanic cause it feels weird being my race...there is no other people like me. .not alot of people have curly hair like mine. And thanks

Hello, wottesworthgurl. You are not a worthless piece of trash or ugly. You are a valuable person and a an important member of this Community.

Can you talk to you Mother or Father about how you feel? How about a school counselor? Harming yourself is serious business. You need professional help.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/43004

Hope you can get help.

[wottesworthgurl]

@ Byzantine. I don't like talking to people about my feelings so no.And yeah sadly I am

[Sannah]

[quote=wottesworthgurl;1381294 I don't like talking to people about my feelings [/quote]

Hmmmm, why not?

[QUEEN OF WANDS]

it can be embarrassing talking about your feelings.you feel like you shouldn't feel this way.but everyone has those feelings of not fitting in.it is how you respond to those feelings.if you let them eat you up,they take over who you are.the real you is in there and knows that you have self worth.we cant usually choose who our parents are or who we grow up around but always stay true to yourself.you are a good person who has closed up it seems.fear takes over,but break through it.the stronger you believe you are the stronger you will be.accept yourself cause you are special.god would not want you feeling this way.you said you had friends last year and got asked out.that means your personality is attracting.dont let your doubts stop you.there will be many years of unneeded hurt if you do.it is hard to find the people in your life that you can trust enough to let close but if we keep everyone away then we dont get to chose the good ones to keep around.hold your head high and be proud of who are you.....easier said than done,but it is do-able.always smile.let your love shine through the hurt.dont let people take advantage of your weaknesses.many people would like to see pics of naked girls,but that doesn't mean your special cause they want to look at you.as soon as you say no they will move on to the next person.a person who wants to talk to you will respect you and they are a million times worth more than anyone who wants to see a naked pic.i am not a doc but i feel for you and i hope a word of encouragement helped..... smile with your heart

[Typo]

Originally Posted by wottesworthgurl

Sorry if this thread is kind of long........I'm going to share most of my life problems on here though.


So...my story is I'm a 12year old female..in the seventh grade..I have no friends at all and I feel like nobody cares about me. I am a very shy person, afraid of what others might think of me. I am also adopted and my race is white/black but I often tell people that I am hispanic. My brothers are both adopted also..one is indian..the other is the same as me black/white we all are three years of age apart. Both of my parents are white (the ones that I live with now.) I never ever met my real mom or dad or even saw a picture of them. I'm too afraid to ask my parents. I have no friends and are constantly lonely. Which is why I resorted to videogames about a year ago on the ps3 (my brothers) I guess you could say I got addicted, I enjoyed playing a gmae called lotr conquest, but it ended.

So I resorted to a new game call of duty modern warfar two. I felt like I could be myself there I could be the loud, outgoing, carefree person that I am and have always wanted everyone to see. I talked on the mic everyday on that game, made friends, told people I was really 17, had online boyfriends, and even sent naked pics of myself over some peoples phone number I got off the ps3. And even posted a fake picture of myself up on facebook. I'm too ugly to be looked at..not photogentic at all.I love playing that game and talking on the mic and actually feeling like I have friends.

But that all ended yesterday, my mom found me up playing at 5am in the morning got really mad cause she said we had church today and hit me and yelled and called me names. My mom makes me feel like crap. I know nobody really loves me at all. I often have thoughts of suicide but I'm too scared to actually go through with it. I often feel like doing it soooooo bad, I know nobody will care. I'm ugly. I know that I'm ugly. And I can't change it. In the 6'th grade (last year) I actually had friends and I wasn't shy, one of them got mad at me and the whole group of people started hating me. Last year I also had a really good friend...but she moved away. I got asked out by guys last year, but never said yes, my parents always tell me I can't have a boyfriend till I'm 17+. I wish I had friends soooo bad but I'm shy and ugly nobody wants to look at me.

Through my early childhood years I believe I was molested by my brother. I won't go into detail. I am a very religious person I guess you could say and am going to wait to have sex after marriage I hope. I love God and he loves me. I believe God and my dog are my only friends. Nobody will ever love me. I wish I had somebody to talk to but I don't. And also my mom took away the videogames forever. My life is over it seems. Videogames was a stress reliever for me and now they're gone forever. What do I do? I've always done good at school....but am thinking I should let my grades drop...nomore videogames ever...at all. I'm a worthless piece of trash, what do I do? People on the ps3 know me as a happy,loving,outgoing and fun person. People in real life know me as a shy and ugly person.


Please respond here or message me if you wanna talk....

(((((((((Wottesworthgurl)))))))))))))

I am sorry you are struggling with these emotions, I know how strong and painful they are, a lot of my depression and mood swings started when I was your age, it was so confusing and hard. I have also struggled a lot with my self confidence and worth. Please know you are not alone hun.

I am glad you have found PC and are able to post here, please keep posting and talking, it will help a lot. It is a small step on the path to healing.

You said you were very religious, maybe you could join a youth group related to your place of worship? Sometimes it helps to break our barriers and anxieties in socalizing if around people with similar intrests and activites.

Please, don't let your grades drop, It may sound odd, but continuing to do things like school, helps fight off depression, and it helps build your self worth.

Please keep talking wottesworth, I know it is hard and frightening to talk about our emotions, it took me many years to open up, and to allow myself to experince emotions, but it helps a lot, maybe you could see a therapist, or talk to a school consulor about these issues, please consider the idea, it is hard and scarey at first but ends up helping so much in the end

You are NOT trash, you are NOT ugly, or any other bad thing you say to yourself, it is the depression talking, depression has a way of telling us lies and making us feel worse than we already do. Try conteracting the bad things, by saying good things about yourself, it is hard at first, but is something my T made me start doing, everytime I called myself ugly, I had to retract the statement and list something positive and that I liked about myself, such as I like my laugh. I started small and built up and T had me do daily affermations to, one of them was when I was getting ready in the morning to look myself in the mirror and say "I am a great person".

maybe find diffrent stress relievers now that you don't have video games, you said you have a dog, how about taking your dog for a walk everyday, or to a local dog park if there is one. Maybe pick up a hobby like gardening, a sport, knitting, something that intrests you and would excite you to be a part of. I know when my depression hit it's worst I made myself join a local yoga class and it helped me a lot, it got me out and about adn it also made me feel good that I was doing something nice for myself.

Please be gentle with yourself wottesworthgurl, feel free to Pm me anytime, I check my pm's every day.

Sending many calm and peaceful thoughts to you
Typo

[XDTastyNinja]

Ellie. thats terrible
I like you and I dont want you to feel like that. you mom sound god awful. My brother abused me most of my child hood until i was old enought to fight back so i know what its like to be miss treated. but your mom... thats horrible... you wont be able to get away from it until you leave the house... I am so sorry about all the bad things that has happened to you but dont end it. it may not seem like it but if you did many people would be crushed and you seem too sweet to hurt anyone like that.