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#1
Nov 10, 2010, 04:25 PM
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I have not been good at controling my SI issues and lately I have done alot of it...cant seem to keep distracted ....I been doing all kinds of things and its not helping ....I dont know how to stop what I do...I have never talked about SI before so this is new to me...I have never been helped with it so I dont have the coping skills needed for it..but have been reading things on it and have tried things but doint know what to do
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  .."NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT"~~~~~ELANOR ROOSEVELT~~~~~ |
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#2
Nov 10, 2010, 07:11 PM
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I do have a few suggestions, and if you need to look them up do.
First, Exercise seems to help quite a bit. Getting the blood pumping helps, espeically when you do it to the point of pain, If that's what you need to stop. Second, Try to write down what you are feeling, Sometimes just getting things out helps. Thrid, If you need to see red, then draw on yourslef with a red marker. Fourth, BREATH, it really helps, calming down can stop some people from doing the SI. Hope this helps, and I hope others respond as well to give you more ideas. If you need anything, PM me and I'll see what I can do to help. |
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#3
Nov 11, 2010, 02:18 AM
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Hi DragonSong, are you in therapy?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#4
Nov 11, 2010, 07:39 AM
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No I am not havent been since last year...no insurance ..but I made some calls to some places to see if they offer free services or a sliding scale and I am waiting to hear from them...and then I learned it can take weeks to get in to them...so that does not help the situation at the present time...so I am frustrated and every other emotion on the planet all at once...
__________________
.."NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT"~~~~~ELANOR ROOSEVELT~~~~~ |
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#5
Nov 11, 2010, 08:10 AM
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Keep at it though. Therapy in 2 weeks is better than no therapy at all. Have you had a recent increase in stress lately?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#6
Nov 11, 2010, 11:31 AM
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I have had alot of extra stress lately...and more just seems to pour in daily..I feel like a balloon about to pop...I am having a hard time keeping myself from thinking of releasing the pressure ...I have dumped myself into getting rid of things I feel someone else can use...figure that would help a bit...been trying to clean to but thats hard because then I start to feel its not clean enough...I am just running out of things to do...
__________________
.."NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT"~~~~~ELANOR ROOSEVELT~~~~~ |
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#7
Nov 11, 2010, 02:11 PM
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Anything that you can do to decrease the stress?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#8
Nov 11, 2010, 02:51 PM
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been trying all kinds of things reading writing drawing cleaning....getting rid of my stuff...thats about it
__________________
.."NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT"~~~~~ELANOR ROOSEVELT~~~~~ |
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#9
Nov 11, 2010, 05:22 PM
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Do you have any tallents that you can work on and progess in them? Like Music is one that helps a lot of people.
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#10
Nov 11, 2010, 06:01 PM
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I love music but the music I have handy is not the kind of music one should listen to when feeling bad...I draw and write and read and I have been doing all that but I get frustrated at that and it ends up in the other room
__________________
.."NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT"~~~~~ELANOR ROOSEVELT~~~~~ |
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#11
Nov 12, 2010, 04:45 AM
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I meant what can you do directly to decrease the stress (is there any way that you can tackle the stressful issues to decrease them)?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#12
Nov 12, 2010, 08:50 AM
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no not at the present time theres not..and others will never decrease...others are problems I have to live with but can not...I can accept that the one thing I want in my life I cant have because it is in her hands and not mine...some involve needing money to accomplish and I don't have that....as far as issues at home here..well...nothing I can think of to decrease those..as it also lies with these two...I can't get them to see anything in front of them other than themselves...so I don know how to decrease the stress between us..or for myself...I guess I just aint smart enough in that department to think of solutions to easing burdens
__________________
.."NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT"~~~~~ELANOR ROOSEVELT~~~~~ |
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#13
Nov 12, 2010, 02:25 PM
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Sometimes it helps to discuss the issues and get feedback from others. It also helps to get the issues outside of your head where they can be examined (by discussing with others). I have started threads here about issues and got great feedback and it helped me to work through the issues.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#14
Nov 12, 2010, 03:00 PM
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I was adopted at 7 mo's old by a single divorced white woman who had a son of her own..she was a social worker for many years till she retired...her and I were extremely close up until I was 18...I felt she was to protective..she never wanted me going anywhere and she had my brother watching me all the time up until I was 17..how ridiculous was that....well during my senior year I had enough..I wanted to know what other kids were doing for fun...so when a friend of mine invited me to a party I lied to my mom and told her we were going to the mall to watch a movie..she told me to be home by 11pm..I was shocked she was letting me go..anyways..i went to the party got drunk and didnt get home till 3pm the next day...so she was angry and told me I was grounded..I told her I was 18 and and an adult so she couldnt tell me what to do...she said if i left the yard dont come back..well I left..stupid as that was...I saw her a few months later and she was depressed..she blamed it on me telling me it was my fault because I left...well after that we lost the bond we had...oh sure we got together now and again and but when my second daughter was about 7 she went to live with my mom because my husband and i before we got married..broke up and i was extremely depressed and could not care for my kids because i had no job no money and lost my apt..so she took her..my son went to a friends and then to foster care..they lived like this up until each reached 15 then they came home ..but my mom would not let my daughter come home even when things were going great...she just wouldnt let her go...and it infuriated me because she is my daughter..I wrote a letter to my mom several times but didnt get nowhere until one day she said to me i will alway love you but i feel in my heart Kat is my daughter..??????????????.....screwed up....well when i did get her back which was because my daughter was acting up herself....she started inviting us all over for holidays and all..ok fine..but she never treated the other three kids the same as she did her..she was spoiled rotten and the others resent my mom for being like she is...well...now that I am out of state she is telling me she misses me terribly and she wished i could move back ....i need my mom...I love my mom even thou she made mistakes because so did I ...she had always been a very important person in my life but she acts so different than she use to...i found out that she is a toxic parent but I dont let that bother me I just want her...thats issue one.... I miss my mom but I know she wont really change..she doesnt even call me..but sends me a card for my birthday...sighs...gult trip i feel like it is ...she does that..she likes others to make her happy but does nothing for them ...she is the only family that acknowledges me anymore besides my grandma..my mom turned the rest of the family against me when i left home so they do not asccociate with me..i send cards every year thou with a letter updating whats gone on in the year thou..so i dont ignore them like they do me...so thats one issue that has me feeling realllllly down....and thats just a summary of whats gone on with her...
__________________
.."NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT"~~~~~ELANOR ROOSEVELT~~~~~ |
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#15
Nov 15, 2010, 10:37 AM
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Do you think that you need to mourn this?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#16
Nov 15, 2010, 05:10 PM
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I don't think I need to mourn it..I guess to understand it would be a better term...she claims she misses me a lot and wish I could move back soon...but I have my apprehension about that...if I go back would she still act like she did or would she really want to see me more....right now I know she is still acting towards my daughter the same way she always did and I dont want to watch that and nor do I want to find out that she only said the endearing things she has because she felt she had to only to have me come home and act no different...I guess I feel torn...some say I should cut ties with her but she is my mom..I can't imagine not being in her life even if its seconds I guess...I don't know how to look at it
__________________
.."NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT"~~~~~ELANOR ROOSEVELT~~~~~ |
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#17
Nov 16, 2010, 02:34 PM
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If a person is toxic sometimes you just have to stay away from them.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#18
Nov 16, 2010, 10:13 PM
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yeah I know I should...I have just never imagined what it would be like not to see her...I know I make up excuses for her I know that much...cause she really does have her good days...she did help us out in a very big way a couple times trying to help us keep our house but I feel like she did it because my daughter was living with us then..so I dont know...I have been thinking more about looking for my biological parents..to put a close on that chapter and maybe open a new door also...my oldest is really intent on wanting to know them and about her family she doesn't know now that she has a son she would like to put some history in there somewhere...lol...yeah seems like I get it from both sides but one seems genuine enough to try for and one I should just let go I know...I just dont know how to do that
__________________
.."NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT"~~~~~ELANOR ROOSEVELT~~~~~ |
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#19
Nov 17, 2010, 04:14 PM
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Keep us posted?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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