[Liquid]

...that could be taken as positive or helpful right now. All I want to do is to drink myself into a coma, drug myself until I black out and if that doesnt work to just cut and cut, hoping that it can lead somewhere where I can have some peace. It hurts too much to live. I have one person left and Im trying my best to make them hate me so I can have a reason to put an end to the memories. This is not a statement of intent, its just the way Im feeling. Please dont take it the wrong way, Im sorry if Ive upset anyone.

Hi Liquid, I'm so sorry you're feeling this bad. I know the first instinct is to run away from it by drinking, drugging or cutting but have you ever tried just breathing in deeply, slowly and calmly? It's amazing how filling up your lungs with air can make you feel.
Hold the air in your lungs for a count of ten and let it out slowly. Keep repeating this until your chest doesn't feel so heavy anymore.
I wish you could find inner peace. I wish I could hug you. Can you ask your friend for a hug instead of pushing them away?
Memories are like a double edged sword, on the one hand they can really hurt in reliving them but then on the other hand you have valuble lessons learned and with that compassion and strength.
You're a survivor, Liquid, don't you forget that.
I hope you feel better soon. (((((((Liquid)))))))))

[Liquid]

Im not afraid to ask for a cuddle, Im scared that I will be let go.

I just feel like Ive been so misunderstood. I really hope that I can break out of this with compassion and strength, like I have done in the past. This is NOT living, life is so beautiful, the world is such a wonderful place, but its such a scary place to be. Painful memories are just a kick in the teeth for me at the moment, I have too much grieving to do.

It's okay to grieve and cry. Let it out.
Yeah, I know what you mean about being let go.
Give your heart a little massage. I'm serious. When I get that sucked in heart feeling I either breathe in deep and slow a few times or I give the area above my heart a little massage. When things are really bad I'll do both.
We all get misunderstood. It's apart of being human, I guess. It takes time to figure out who we are and what we mean let alone that for other people we're trying to understand and who are trying to understand us.
It's hard to remember sometimes that all of us are frail and vulnerable and we react from the inside out not the outside in-if that makes any kind of sense.
Try to forgive the people who are misunderstanding you. We're all like this big puzzle trying to make the pieces fit and it takes a lot of mistakes before we find where the right pieces go into the right places.
(((((((((((((Liquid))))))))))))))))))

[blackdragon]

(((((((((((((liquid)))))))))))))))))))))