[complic8d]

How do you stop the "need" to feel like you have to punish yourself? I finally realized that I should not cut (although that doesn't take away the urge), but now I want to hurt myself by not eating as much as I should. I still feel like I need to prove that I am sick and need help, although I have certainly done this lately. I just want to stop those self injury feelings altogether, not just switch from one to another.
FRUSTRATED!!!

[Quay]

I hear you. I'm not sure of the answer unfortunately. I seem to trade food and self-injury myself. Feels like I can manage one or the other, but not both. I'm really working hard on the self-injury part of it right now. I guess part of the answer is learning to accept yourself, realizing that it's okay to ask for help even if you're don't appear to be one of the walking wounded, understanding that we all have flaws and it's okay not to be perfect. Sounds pretty good, now how do I get there?

Wish I could be of more help, Quay

[hereiam]

Talkin to a T about why you feel the need to punish yourself is a pretty good idea too.

[Rapunzel]

I switch from one coping method to another also. I haven't cut since August, but I don't want to let go of not eating enough and excessive exercising, even though in fact I probably eat enough overall and it's hard to exercise enough in the winter and with my current work schedule. But I tend to do it all at once though. I don't have time to exercise during the week, so I think I should get 5 hours in on Saturday (not that I manage that).

I'm afraid of what I would switch to if I let go of the eating and exercise stuff. I have an idea what it would probably be and it's worse.

What I think it is - these are still all ways to avoid doing something about our actual problems. Maybe if we can face what is wrong in our lives - the way we interact with other people, the way we think of ourselves, what we are doing to work towards the future, etc., then maybe the need to be self destructive will diminish.

Rap

The way I am stopping it is going day by day. When I first started to work on it my therapist and I knew it was impossible for me to stop cold turkey I've been Self injury for 30 years. so first we worked on the severity - changing the preferred type of Self injury to a less intense one. After a while instead of just cutting and it resulting in stitches I was able to get the same release from something like punching my leg, drawing on myself with a marker, taking a hot bath. that way cutting was not the immediate and preferred way anymore. I found out different things work for different strengths of emotional release needed. Once that was done then I would go only one day then do the least intense type release. Then I would go two days and then intentionally do that lease intense type release. Then three ..four.. and so on. By giving myself the release BEFORE I got upset at something and BEFORE the need built up to the unmanageable explosion level of cutting has put my length of time between cutting at about 6 months-8 months between cuttings. Right now Im at 8 months and do not have the urge to cut. and I can last up to 30 days now on the others. So over time they also are decreasing. Because I intentionally put into this my having release times I don't have the guilt and other emotions of letting myself down and letting others down when I do cut or other things. My present therapist knows I self injure but its not a part of our conversations. She knows I'm working on it and thats all that matters.

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((complic8d)))))))))))))) You bet it is. I hope you have someone to help you work through this as it is very difficult by yourself. I would suggest finding non injurous methods to cope with the feelings that are building up inside you. Then you will use them instead of the coping skills you are now using. Good luck on doing so. I know how hard it is and I think it is brave of you trying to do so. There is no quick answer to this action as it is a result of underlying issues. Please thake care and try and be safe.

[complic8d]

THANKS! for your responses on this. I appreciate the feedback, and knowing that I'm not alone (although I wish no one else had to deal with this). Good luck to all of you on coping with these issues. HUGS!

like bipolarbear said having someone help you and finding non injurious ways is the best way but for me the more stress put on having someone like a therapist on my back about it and the idea that I shouldn't or can't because someone tells me I shouldn't or can't only makes me think about doing it even more. Kind of like putting an alcoholic or drug user in a wine/liqeur/ meth lab cellar and saying you can't drink or do any of this. Self injury is an adiction and for me I started when I was around 10-13 years old. Im 42 now. I tried the cold turkey/monkey on the back kinds of things and I only ended up cutting worse and not caring what I did it with- razor, broken plates and mirrors, nails rusty or not, pencils pens, paper clips, safety pins, broken toys, it didn't matter, and neither did the where and who was around when I did it. I just wanted it and I was going to get in no matter who or what went down in the process. with a therapist and and finding other non injury ways is the best but for those who can't go that route my day by day program above works for me.