[Overcastbutclearing]

Cutting isn't always enough.
Right now I am gorging on anything I can eat...trying to get my friend to call who can get me some weed.
I thought 2 hours ago everything was under control...just got out of T a few minutes ago and realized I have nothing in control.
What makes me feel good T wants me to stop. Who makes me feel good...T wants me to stop communicating with.
But, when I say I HATE LIFE...T says promise me you will be safe.

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

I think at this point you would do best in a hospital

[backandforth]

(((((((sj))))))) I don't know if your T is right in wanting you to stop seeing certain people or doing certain things... taking pot for ex. I could see why s/he doesn't see it as a good coping mechanism, even though personally I think that's one of the lesser probs.... you have other things to deal with. hun, you CAN get through this. we all have those moments, days, even weeks when cutting isn't enough, eating or not eating isn't enough, and all the other ways we try to deal... but maybe that's a sign saying that those things aren't good enough anymore to help us cope w/ the pain? so it's the coping mechanisms we choose, not nec. that life isn't working... just the things we do to get by dont' work anymore.... I have had that happen too and it still does. but as sleeps said, that's probably a good time to reach out for help and say "I can't do this anymore. This isn't working anymore". It's scarry as hell to know that those thinsg dont' work anymore but you don't have to go through this alone.... it's hard when you're willing to do anything to be okay... anything self-destrcutive that is. do you ever tell your T what dilemma you're left in by what is being expected of you??? someone can't just say "stop doing behaviour X'. you also need to learn new and better ways to help you deal, otherwise you get to where you are right now- in the middle of a crisis and no way to deal b/c that's been taken away or at least the threat of that is there. pls hang in there..... utlimate relief is you finding happiness, not the end hun.

[Lexicon78]

There are times when no matter what you do, it isn't enough. I know that much. I've experienced it enough times, too.

None of what you are doing is gonna help you out, though. I really do think you need crisis intervention or something like that right now. If you don't want to do that, try some more positive copers. I know that exercise works wonders if you are able to do it. I know that some people are disabled physically and cannot participate in exercise. Taking a walk works pretty good. I don't have a problem getting high once in a while, either but you have to come back down off that high sometime and it may be worse for you when you do.

Please try to make yourself safe.

[complic8d]

For me, just a little cutting isn't enough. I tried yesterday, but it didn't help, just made me want to do it bigger, deeper. Want to cut myself to shreds actually. I am also using eating, but trying to not eat much at all. Just feeling really self-destructive like you. Not promising my t anything, and she mentioned hospital. It might have to be the thing, but I also feel like I need to "prove" that I have to be there.
So, I feel for you. T's always want us to not do what we want to do, I guess because it's harmful and ultimately doesn't help. (It's gotten me quite angry lately)
Please get the help you need, you are a special person.
HUGS

[Overcastbutclearing]

((COMPLIC8D))
Yeah...I know what you mean about not promising T anything.
Right now I am struggling because she wants me to go see pdoc and I really do not want to.
I feel all over the place but I don't know how to explain to T that I operate off of different people inside of my head.
Some of those people SI some don't.
Anyway...very complicated.
Hang in there kiddo!

[Rapunzel]

I, too, understand about not promising T anything. I never want to promise her anything that I'm not sure that I can keep. And I put up an awful lot of resistance too, but I wish that I could stop resisting and let her help like I begged her to do. I'm trying to be more cooperative, even though it is really hard. Why would you ask someone, like T, for help, and then resist the advice that they give you? I know that there are lots of answers to that question, but I'm asking you (and anyone else it applies to) to consider why you do that, and why you continue the therapy relationship under those circumstances.