[justgivealittle]

I have been unraveling and falling apart bit by bit. I am having strong urges to SI and could use a lot of support. I haven't cut in the last few months(which is good) but I do admit that I have been starting to do "head banging" which I'm pretty sure is still considered SI and really doesn't help but for some reason hurting myself seems like the right thing to do because I feel its what I deserve. Can anyone else relate?

[carrie_ann]

hi justgivealittle
yeah i can relate, i haven't cut in a long time but i do hurt myself in other ways to punish myself when i feel i deserve it, so yeah i get it.
it's good you haven't cut in months but i would worry about the headbanging (possible brain damage).
do you have a support system in place ...folks you can turn to without judgement ... family, friends, counsellor etc?
you can always pm or em me if you need, ok?

[justgivealittle]

Originally Posted by Roz_G

hi justgivealittle
yeah i can relate, i haven't cut in a long time but i do hurt myself in other ways to punish myself when i feel i deserve it, so yeah i get it.
it's good you haven't cut in months but i would worry about the headbanging (possible brain damage).
do you have a support system in place ...folks you can turn to without judgement ... family, friends, counsellor etc?
you can always pm or em me if you need, ok?

ugh if I told my family they wouldn't understand. my fiance' gets it so I try to talk to him and the people I live with, some of them get it. The head banging didn't happen yesterday...thank goodness or today but I'm preoccupied with the idea of hurting myself. I would love to PM you and talk more but I'm new to the site and don't know much of how to do things so please PM me and talk to me!

[carrie_ann]

Originally Posted by justgivealittle

ugh if I told my family they wouldn't understand. my fiance' gets it so I try to talk to him and the people I live with, some of them get it. The head banging didn't happen yesterday...thank goodness or today but I'm preoccupied with the idea of hurting myself. I would love to PM you and talk more but I'm new to the site and don't know much of how to do things so please PM me and talk to me!

it's good you can at least talk to your fiance, you need someone close irl who understands. pm sent.

[SupernaturalLover]

Do you have a therapist? Or someone nuetral that you can talk to about these things? Head-banging is a no no it could do so much damage. I can relate as well. Although my SI isn't so much about punishment anymore, at it's early stage that was very much what it was about. And also I've found that when I reached that stage the severity of the SI increased because it didn't seem like enough.

Feel free to pm me anytime as well. I'm not about all, all the time but if I get a pm I always respond *even if it's not right off* Take care of yourself. And welcome to PC

[Sannah]

[crimsontears1985]

Originally Posted by justgivealittle

I have been unraveling and falling apart bit by bit. I am having strong urges to SI and could use a lot of support. I haven't cut in the last few months(which is good) but I do admit that I have been starting to do "head banging" which I'm pretty sure is still considered SI and really doesn't help but for some reason hurting myself seems like the right thing to do because I feel its what I deserve. Can anyone else relate?

I hope you are doing better now. I can relate to you. YOu will prolly have urges for the rest of your life. how you deal with them is up to you. I know for me I do whatever i can to try and help someone else when I feel that way. I hope that I can help you and I want you to know that you are not alone and that I want to be there for you if you will let me. Hang in there and stay strong. Yes, the head banging is a form of SI. I used to do that when i was in the hospital and had no other way to help me cope. Remembr that it all takes time and work. Hope that you are doing better. I'm here for you if you want me to be there for you. I care and hope to be your friend. Take care and God bless!
Hugs!