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#1
Jun 22, 2012, 12:19 AM
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What if I need to punish myself? What can I do instead of burning? Sorry to be difficult, but red marker and ice cubes are not cutting it...a lot of the "things to do instead" are "nice" self-care things. What if I don't want to be nice to me?
Trigger ----------------------------------- Did it again. I went a couple of years and lately some stuff has been coming up and I can't ****ing sleep and I can't stop ruminating and I got upset about a stupid insignificant thing I "did," and I fought it for a while, then I plugged in my straightening iron. This wasn't the first time, that was a few weeks ago with a couple of times in between. |
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#2
Jun 22, 2012, 08:51 AM
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I'm sorry for what you are going through. I can relate that. I think all the people who are keeping remorses like us have to understand one thing that we are humans not Angels. All people commit mistakes, nobody is perfect. Some people even commit deadly sins and crimes and don't even consider it wrong then why we keep on punishing ourselves for a single mistake?
You have beared more punishment than your mistake. Your mistake won't be as major that you deserve lifetime sentence for it. Please free yourself from this imprisonment. Try to forgive yourself. Wish you well... |
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#3
Jun 22, 2012, 01:05 PM
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What's up with the punishment? Do you understand where this need comes from? Do you have a therapist?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#4
Jun 22, 2012, 02:07 PM
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Ughh, I don't know what's up with it. This is one of the big reasons why I ever want to SI...expiating guilt and getting rid of all those bad feelings. I get hung up late at night on something, and I start to feel overwhelmed and anxious and then after I do it I feel calm again and can turn off the thinking-too-much.
I have a therapist, but he doesn't know that I've been doing this and to be perfectly honest I don't want to tell him. I don't want it to be a thing. I'm very careful to do it where no one will see it and I don't want this to be a big, dramatic issue. |
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#5
Jun 23, 2012, 11:49 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
 athena.agathon
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#6
Jun 23, 2012, 12:34 PM
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"What if I need to punish myself? What can I do instead of burning? Sorry to be difficult, but red marker and ice cubes are not cutting it...a lot of the "things to do instead" are "nice" self-care things. What if I don't want to be nice to me?"
I know how you feel. I SI just thinking about the littlest mistakes I've made. The red marker and ice cubes don't help me either, but biting myself seems to work pretty well. And, best of all, the marks fade within an hour, usually.
__________________
Are you okay? I'm acting like I'm okay - please don't interrupt my performance! 
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| athena.agathon
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#7
Jun 23, 2012, 07:58 PM
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Quote:
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#8
Jun 24, 2012, 10:30 AM
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Accepting where you are at is the first step to fixing your issues. It can be painful and uncomfortable but this is the only way to get to a place where you will no longer have the pain.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| athena.agathon
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#9
Jun 24, 2012, 05:24 PM
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And it is so, so uncomfortable. I have a therapy appointment tomorrow morning and I am freaking out just a little. I have no idea what I'm going to talk about. The lead-in kills me...
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#10
Jun 24, 2012, 07:03 PM
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How about talking about the discomfort of accepting where you are at/stepping away from the denial?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#11
Jun 24, 2012, 10:27 PM
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That's a good idea, and hopefully something I can hack (I'm so nervous I'm kind of sick).
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#12
Jun 25, 2012, 07:13 PM
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It is normal to be nervous about these kinds of things. You can do it!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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