"emergency" coping skills kit

My T was talking about this today, and it had me a bit confused. She said that another client mentioned an "emergency" coping kit that helped when things reached a much higher level. She said that these things would be different from the normal coping skills that get me through the "not-quite-an-emergency-yet" times. Does anyone else have something like this, a go-to for when **** is really about to hit the fan? The only things I could think of that fit the bill for me were my negative coping skills (ones we want to change). How do you find that set of things that helps stave off the "emergencies" that may arise?
She mentioned that coping skills often have "levels" of usefulness. Watching tv may be a lower level, while art may be something a bit more involved for me and cover a higher level of skill (it also serves more than one purpose: communication, as well as in-the-moment coping). But I struggle to find coping skills that work reliably. I am not sure if this is because my positives list is so small, that I go to the same things over and over again. This seems to make them useless after a short time. They lose effectiveness. I feel like I'm cycling through all my skills and hitting the sh point faster and faster.
So I was trying to come up with what I may consider an emergency skills list. I have no idea where to begin. I have a really difficult time finding "regular" skills to help me get through things. I wish I had tried to talk to her more about this, but I'm always more articulate after I have had time to think about what I want to say.
Si I guess my question is: what would you consider an "emergency" coping skill (one you only pull out when in desperate need)?

I don't have an answer specifically for which one is my emergency one, because I haven't found one quite yet, although for me, I find a candlelit bubblebath with classical music is one of the few things that can help me out of those moments.... Another is coloring in a coloring book. I focus on the music or the picture so I don't get worked up about the moment....

I have a system for how to use my coping skills... I have different groups, and each one has both active things and relaxing things to do. When I need to use my coping skills, I pick one of the groups, and choose something in that group to do.. I have to stick with the options in that group for at least an hour before I give up and move on to another group. If I have something that is working, I can stick with it longer, but I can't give up on it before I give it a chance to work... These ones are focused on me, which is why there are a lot of things having to do with dance and and writing, but there are also a bunch of others that could be helpful to you...

Group 1:
- Aromatherapy
- Write/draw/doodle in my journal
- Focus on object in room and clear mind
- Read two chapters in a book
- Remember why I love dance
- Watch cat videos
Group 2:
- Bubble bath
- Watch a candle burn
- Have a vivid fantasy love affair with a
celebrity
- Hug a pillow
- Dance
- Write a letter to future self w/ date
Group 3:
Watch an old, happy movie
- Memorizing poetry
- Color with crayons
- Play the 15-minute game
- Plan your wedding
- Mindfulness
Group 4:
- Pick off nail polish.
- 5 things I'm thankful for + why
- Rename zoo animals
- Look at the stars
- Do school work.
- Shoot rubberbands across room
Group 5:
- Paint finger nails
- Start a letter to someone (past, present, or future)
- Run through dances 5 times each
- Check chat and/or read +reply to today's posts
- Read what I wrote/doodled... Reflect + write more
Group 6:
- Look at dance catalogs online
- Make a list of blessings
- Thought record
- Run through dances 5 times each
- Draw a photo (grid method)
- I-Spy
Group 7:
- Voldemort complex-any and all names (find what words you can make out of the letters in people's names)
- Write a line/poem for each page in my people picture book
- 5 things I'm thankful for + why
- Search inspirational quotes- write down at least 10
- Summarize an idea for a new book... Only write if you feel like it
- Drawing
Group 8:
- Look at all of my pictures 1 by 1, and focus on a good memory from when it was taken.
- Color
- Choreograph a dance to whatever song is stuck in my head- whether it's danceable or not.
- Pick someone on FB and pray for them
- Write a breakup letter to whatever is causing the stress, or if I don't know the cause, to the stress itself...

Maybe look through these, and see which ones you might use for yourself, and try and find a situation of when you might use each of the ones you picked... You may be able to see a trend of which ones you are inclined to use as the situation gets more intense..

I know I didn't really answer your question, but I hope this helps!!

IGotThis provided some amazing examples of things that you can use and the different kinds of levels/intensity of the activities. For example, if you were interested in writing you could have different types of activities that involved writing and creativity in that area as well as a few more general ones for the times you don't want to write.

From there, it is just trial and error. Seeing which ones work for you when you are struggling and which don't.

If you can think of a few of your interests we are more than happy to try and help you come up with some more ideas

Thanks. I well she down to my computer later (in my phone right now) and write it what I have And sees if I can organize it for myself.

I really like some of the ones you mentioned igotthis! Can I borrow some?

Absolutely!!! They're yours for the taking!!! I hope you find some that help

I do carry a small "kit" in my purse for when I'm triggered which could lead to SI, SU, dissociation etc.
I carry something for every sense. Gum & my favorite mints for taste. Only get to have them in emergency...makes them taste better. Crayons to smell...take me back to a happy memory etc, my absolute favorite worry stone. I love the way it feels. A list of mindfulness techniques I usually don't use & a few other things. I only open the bag in extreme emergencies so I've had it for 9 months so far & only used 2 things out of it. It keeps them special.

I also like some of the things on the list I might "borrow". Love watching a candle burn!

One that I guess is my emergency one is this journal I've been filling. Every day I write down only the positive things that happen. I don't mention anxiety or SI or anything.. Only random stuff like a stranger smiled to me on the bus or the weather was nice or whatever.. Just good things. And when I feel bad, I read through that. I guess it's the emergency one because if I read through it too oftn, it won't work anymore.

Another one is taking some pills. WHich I try to avoid, but oh well..

That's a great idea Liinu! I might have to try that one

I saw a thing on Pinterest that's basically the same thing. Every day you write down the good things that happen on a notecard and put it in a jar of something. Then when you really need it, you pull out a couple of random ones and put them in a second jar, so you pull out new ones each time... Then once the first jar is empty, you start from the second one... It works on a more regular basis because you're not remembering the same things over and over...

wow, so I really suck at follow-through.
I have yet to make a coping skills list, but I was able to utilize some of them today.
I listened to music, and I collaged. I had the house all to myself, so I was able to listen to whatever I wanted as loud as I wanted. And I was able to put more into my collage without fearing anyone will question what I am doing.
None of it really stopped the obsessing, planning, and si, but at least I did some of it.
Now, to find things that will work when everything is buzzing at this level...

One thing that may help you with this is realizing that just because you are doing something else doesn't mean the thoughts will go away... The goal is just to get you doing something else so you won't focus so hard on it and get trapped in it... If you can pull your focus a little until it calms down, hopefully it will make them more bearable.

This is what I need today as my thoughts are screaming at me. I can identify positives...I thought that was supposed to make it easier but it doesn't so I felt worse. As you say perhaps the whole point is simply being able to notice rather the consequence of noticing. Thank you, for such constructive help.

I may do the jar thing too at some point, someone should create an app of this idea so it can be accessed on the go!

hmm... a coping skills ap... that would be cool. I should look into that.

Crayons bring back good memories. Also, I really must get some candle--will try to find lavender.

Can anyone give suggestions on things that feel pleasant for this coping kit? I thought of wearing really soft socks, or how about handling a koosh ball (if they can still be found)?

A soft beanbag can be good... I also like tennis balls, because you can roll them around in your hands, plus use them as a massager...

Sometimes it's as good as impossible to identify positives, so I am so very happy that you can do that, but I do understand entirely that just because there are positives, doesn't mean it's any easier.. Hopefully things come down for you....

While I don't have an app (I may get my brother to make one, since he's great at those things, I'll let you know), you could always put them as a note in your phone... Or, if you want, take a picture of each piece you have in the jar, and when you need them on the go, look at a few of the pictures, and delete them when you've used them... Once you're out of pictures, do it again...

For me, part of the problem is the "desperate need" trigger? When I feel like I am desperate, I try to reset. For a long time I would mentally imagine throwing a hand grenade into my mental fox hole but that is a rather harsh image (even though it worked to shift my focus and lower my anxiety). Now I am better at just declaring the result without the imagery; I just say something to myself like, "the gig is up" and I start over from the beginning, just accepting whatever it is that is upsetting me and that there is nothing I can do about it right now, it is out my control.

But usually I find I'm doing most of my fighting and having most of my difficulties in my own head so, instead, I immediately go outside or shift my perspective out of my own head. We can only focus on one thing at once so making myself focus elsewhere, "doing" something that takes my mind away from being able to think too much at the same time, can lower my threshold so I can get a better grip with "normal" coping tools. Just "break" the problem in some way? Imagine it as a discreet thing, say a cup or plate and then go break a cup or plate? I just declare things broken/gone/at an end and start acting "as if".

I'm not sure I follow... What are your "as ifs"?

in one of my older boxes, I have lavender lotion, a koosh ball, a squishy toy, various textured beads/rocks, a worry stone, calming tea, peppermint candy, gum, some inspirational quotes, a pros/cons list of my negative coping skills, a list of alternate coping skills, and crayons (the book was all colored). I want to put some similar stuff into an app, but not sure where to find a development platform that could do exactly what I want it to. So far, all the software I found is marketed mainly for business promotion... I am not at all up on my coding, so I was hoping to find something that is user-friendly. So far, no luck. IGotThis, let me know if your brother throws anything together. I'd be interested in seeing it.

Will do.... It may take some convincing, but I'll definitely try... He has a computer programming degree, so I know he can do it (he's already made a few