[hopes4]

I use to do both. Now that I've quite physically I still do it in my head if I let myself sit still too long. Anyone else like that?

[InACorner]

Im not exactly sure what you mean. However I know when i cant get to a razor at the moment my mind remembers with critical detail how cutting feels. Its almost like i can feel the razor blade against my skin. I dont know though, that just makes me relapse more. Though none of it is good i guess its better than doing it physically. Good Luck. ((((((((((((((((hugs for you if its ok with you))))))))))))
PM me anytime

all the time, if that is what you mean about playing it over in your mind.

its no fun, is it?

[hopes4]

I hate it, hate it, hate it. I haven't SI since Oct. 2005, but I can't seem to beat this.

all the time in my head,,,, I told my pdoc about it yesterday - he got really upset with me... but I told him it was better than what I used to do - in reality...

he told me that I had to stop being angry and blaming myself to be angry at the people that hurt me. he even got an angry face (which he never does - at least in 4 years) I think that he was trying to decide to put me IP.

I hate it too!!!!

[Talulah]

I do, all the time....I cut and hit myself for years as a teeneager and early 20s. Conquered it, or replaced/fell out of it and now that I'm struggling in therapy and at this time in my life, I want to cut again. I have tentatively and secretly begun, just a little, not bad, not deep, not much. But, the biggest obstacle is that I'm doing it in my head so hard! I am fighting the urges to do it physically but think about it everyday, where I'll do it, with what, when etc. It's helping me NOT do it, but I think it might lead me TO DO it again. dunno, but yeah, I really think about it.........(I punish myself in my head)

[hopes4]

Yes I punish myself in my head too! Usually thats what it is and I come up with these senarios where I do it too, but not cutting. I use to hit myself and other stuff so thats what I do in my head too. But I do think about cutting sometimes and see it in my head but usually the other stuff.

[deepblue]

omg i the last time i self harmed was oct 2005 and i went to far.but last week i felt the urge to but i went through the motions in my head and i never actually did it i have been doin so well so maybe i have done it in my head and it helped to overcome the pysical side of it

[jennifersculpts]

Yeah, I started my SI by bashing my head and face with my fists and hard objects (usually the phone) and would end up with bad bruises, cuts, sweling and black eyes. I still do it, but unfortunately, I starting stabbing and cutting about five years ago. None of it is good and only provides relief for a relatively short amount of time. Why do you ask? Are you doing it? Are you doing other things to SI? I don't have any answers, but please PM me anytime. We need to talk about this stuff with people who understand and maybe together we can help each other find another way.
Take good care of yourself, please.
Peace,
Jennifer

[Irine]

ouch ouch ouch.. God......jennifere..... wow...

i hope you are not doing it anymore.... do you?
well i must say than when i am mad at myself i have vissions in my head of cutting.... but when i do have them i try to control the image like hat:

let`s say: i cut myself...-i have teh scar-then it suddenly heals! outomatically heals! by itself it heals and the knife or whatever is thrown FAR AWAY and i take a deap breath
and feel better, stronger... i feel i am the captain-the LEADER of the situation-instead of leting the situation lead and depress me.

maybe this can help. try it.

by the way in my songs sometimes i have strong images of SI although i stopped doing that about 4 years ago

[hopes4]

Yeah like if I'm mad at myself for anything I do or say or if i get down on myself and let my self esteem crash I see myself hurting myself and even though I barely ever would cut I see my arm cut

[Irine]

still better than DOING it!

it happens to me like that lots of times...
so i do what i posted on the firts page an dfeel way better on the whole

[hopes4]

Lately I've been able to see Jesus laying next to me just saying I love you and not waiting for my reply. Thats really helped me a lot. It give me something else instead of just hating myself.