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  #1  
Old Feb 21, 2007, 01:03 AM
StargazerLily's Avatar
StargazerLily StargazerLily is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2005
Location: not here
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ROAR GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GROAN

i've been so angry and i dont understand it and i hate these feelings. it hurts so bad. i deserve whatever i do to myself, i have it coming tenfold. i'm a horrible person, just why do i have to feel this way i hate this. i would rather just be one way or the other. why do my feelings have to be EVERYWHERE

ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i deserve it i deserve all the hurt in the world its all my fault i have it coming.

GRRRRRRRRR GRRRRRRRRR GRRRRRRRRR

GRRRRRRRRR GRRRRRRRRR GRRRRRRRRR
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GRRRRRRRRR


Your memory is a monster; you forget - it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you - and summons them to your recall with a will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you.

-John Irving

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  #2  
Old Feb 21, 2007, 01:47 AM
Rapunzel's Avatar
Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
You sound pretty mad at yourself. It sounds like you are already punishing yourself a lot just with those feelings. How is hurting yourself more going to help? It will make the feelings fade for a little while, but then you will only feel worse, and whatever you are mad at yourself about won't be any better.

Do you have a problem that we can help you work through? Tell us how to help you.

TC and be gentle with yourself. You're human like the rest of us.

Rap
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“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg

  #3  
Old Feb 21, 2007, 01:52 AM
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Christina86 Christina86 is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
I'm sorry I left Chat so suddenly (((((((((((Lily))))))))))) and that we didn't get to have a proper chat.

NO. It is NOT your fault. You are NOT a horrible person. I know it's impossible to believe, but I'm not about to lie to you, I think of you as a really good friend.

PM me if there's anything I can do okay?

GRRRRRRRRR

And I agree with what Rapunzel said too.
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GRRRRRRRRR
  #4  
Old Feb 21, 2007, 02:29 AM
StargazerLily's Avatar
StargazerLily StargazerLily is offline
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the harm has already been done, theres just the decision whether or not to do more. whats the point since i've already started. it doesnt matter and neither do i. i already look like i've been mauled by an animal. theres no harm in it and theres no one to care as long as i dont
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GRRRRRRRRR


Your memory is a monster; you forget - it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you - and summons them to your recall with a will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you.

-John Irving
  #5  
Old Feb 21, 2007, 06:04 PM
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Talulah Talulah is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2007
Posts: 506
Lily, you do not deserve this much pain.....I know this and I can say so without even knowing you. You are of value and your life has worth here.

You do not deserve it, I'm gonna argue with your thoughts on this because you're being so hard to yourself. Please, try to tell yourself you belong in this world, and deserve to be happy......
  #6  
Old Feb 21, 2007, 08:04 PM
StargazerLily's Avatar
StargazerLily StargazerLily is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2005
Location: not here
Posts: 460
even in the best of moods i'm bad. went out and bought new supplies to day in the expectation of things to come.
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GRRRRRRRRR


Your memory is a monster; you forget - it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you - and summons them to your recall with a will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you.

-John Irving
  #7  
Old Feb 22, 2007, 05:10 PM
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Talulah Talulah is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2007
Posts: 506
Argue with yourself...........just try, even if it stops you ONE time it's a step forward. Please just try one positive thing for yourself......

I'm sending you positivity and light Lily.......
  #8  
Old Feb 24, 2007, 11:49 AM
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Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
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Lily, I hope that you will start to change the way that you talk to yourself and think about yourself. I understand it because I do the same thing, but as long as you are sending yourself those messages, nobody else will be able to get through to you and show you that you are worth so much more, because you will keep overriding any positive messages. The messages (that you are worth something and don't deserve to be hurt) are true, but your filters won't let you feel it.
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg

  #9  
Old Feb 27, 2007, 05:08 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,622
GRRRRRRRRR
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