[Chippie]

How can I keep myself from hurting myself when I can't find any distractions, it useually works but not tonight. I'm shaking too hard to write I can barely see the computer screen right now I'm scared, i'm terrified I need something to keep busy I need to keep my mind away from what I'm longing to do. Y do people hate me how come some people love hurting others, somewhere inside I know I'm not the horrible person everyone says I am but I believe them. I try so hard to be a good friend good daughter I'm even actually telling people that something hurts when they insult me, nothing, nothing, maybe they're right. I can't stop shaking I want to stop I need an outlet thats not hurting myself. Sorry I dont even know if I'm making any sense, and sorry I guess I whine a lot.
Chippie

[Peanut61]

Hi Chippie: I'm sorry things are so rough this evening. I hope that you have been able to find a positive distraction - good for you that you are looking for one. Regards, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[Rapunzel]

You can make a list of distractions so that it is easier to find something when you are in need. I'll start it out for you:
<UL><LI>Music - listening to it or playing or singing your own<LI>Dancing (goes along with the music - I put on something upbeat with a positive message and dance to it, even though it isn't really dance music)<LI>Call somebody. A friend, parent, crisis line, ..... I know some of them have been feeding you negative messages though, so think of someone who will be supportive. Try to meet new people and make some new friends when you are doing better.<LI>Get lost in a book (one of my favorites)<LI>Of course writing about it here or in a journal is also an option<LI>What else can you think of?[/list]
You are a good person. I know from experience how hard that is to believe, but it's true. You are so talented and intelligent. Make a list of your good qualities too that you can keep and look at when you need to when people tell you otherwise or you forget.


<font color=orange>There is an easy answer to your problem that is neat, plausible, and wrong.

</font color=orange>

[Zenobia]

I will add to Rapunzel's list:

Excercise: Push ups, sit ups, jumping jacks. These things will give a muscle burn that can be satisfying.

Tearing up pictures: Draw a picture of how you are feeling. Then start tearing it up. See how small of peices you can make. I have a tendency to line the pieces up on my leg into rows. The organizing calms my brain.

Reorder your thinking: On a peice of paper make three columns. Write down what you are thinking, what you are feeling, then start listing the things you are doing to feel better. Try something then write it down. How did it work?

I hope things get better soon.
Take care dear one,
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft

[Chippie]

Thanks Rap and Zen and everyone else, I had tried writing that useually works but I was shaking so bad I couldnt. I ended up staying in the chat room, found some clay and beat it up . I need to try making that list of good stuff when I'm in a good mood, I really should, otherewise I don't really think of good things and feel worse. I'll try the exercising thats a good idea, I'll try some of the others too. Thanks you guys are great!
Chippie

I didn't really do much, sorta scratched but the marks went away ny morning! Hey it's a start on stopping.

[Zenobia]

I have always resisted making the list. People kept saying it was a good thing to do but I refused for such a long time. A couple of months ago I finally did. It is a bizarre thing because I never ever look at that list but now alternatives come to mind a lot quicker. I think that just thinking carefully of things that would help in different situations--I made 3 lists one for work, home and at night--then writing it down helped to cement it in my head. Maybe it helped me to confirm the committment to stop.
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft