an oddity -support

have you been able to make up any of that ground lately? =(

I won't talk with her about scheduling. she squeezes in as many as she can - it's her clinic. I was an add on to her already overflowing schedule because my MD demanded she see me (*ahem*, guilt)

Ah well. the clinic tried to call me again later but i can't take personal calls at work =( so i don't know what they wanted. by the time i got off, they were closed.
k

your t is so different to mine kiya- she always finishes about 5 minutes early so that she can get ready for her next client, and she always makes me aware when it is about 5 minutes before that so that we can start winding down the session especailly when we have had a really gruelling session.
hope you're feeling a bit better today. Mmm-mmmm:- cardboard bread, almond milk and butter beans. Delicious (NOT!). I know I'm trying to support you but......when faced with that?! Sending you some virtual party food so that you can party without the ill effects!! Enjoy

he asked me what we needed to talk about... and i couldn't even put words to it... i kind of stumbled with it...but all that did was frustrate me... and made me so angry at myself when i got home and began to process what happened... he is going to be gone in feb for 2 weeks.. and that doesn't feel safe.

kiya... i understand the feeling guilty...and not wanting to say anything... i am sorry this keeps happening to you... will you be able to call the clinic this morning before you go to work? i hope that they are calling to tell you that they have a plan to get you in this week... when my appointments get shuffled around it makes it hard for me to feel safe... and i shut down...lyn

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sujunew said:
Sending you some virtual party food so that you can party without the ill effects!! Enjoy


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Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm party Food!!!!! Pizza!!!! I really do miss pizza. I have a craving probably every week or two. Alergic to everything on it... but it sounds sooooooooo good!!!!
My main diet (other than the tree i listed) is as follows; avocados, eggs, most veggies, some chicken and turkey... Um... I think that's it.
THanks for the virtual party!!!

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bchlyn said:
he asked me what we needed to talk about... and i couldn't even put words to it... i kind of stumbled with it...but all that did was frustrate me... and made me so angry at myself when i got home and began to process what happened... he is going to be gone in feb for 2 weeks.. and that doesn't feel safe.

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That's not good. Can you ask him about a back up t? You need support through that tim and methinks it prudent to tell him you don't feel safe.

Alas, there shall be no apnt for me this week. Our schedules totally clash. I do see her monday and she went and scheduled every monday for i don't know how long (since i wasn't there). SO that is good. I'm ok (for now) with no apnt. I'm still in my "i don't care about anything" mood. Which is good, since my living situation is driving me nuts.

OK... got to go cook an egg or two and get to work.
Hope your day get's better!!!

i see him on tuesday and then i think he will be gone the next two weeks... i will be ok... i will just do life at a distance again... i am glad she booked you every monday... the only problem with mondays are the holidays... and if she is as booked as mine... you may have a problem there...maybe have her book you every thursday...lol...take gentle care...lyn

will you be able to have a phone check in? I think mine tends to travel out of the country and it makes me want to know when in advance so i can mentally prepare.

TOday's super craving has been brought to us by COFFEE!!! That warming, energy-giving substance I am not allowed to have! I had to make coffee for ppl at work today and man............. did i want it!!! But! I have stayed away.

Oh! Yesterday i found out there was chocolate in the house - and it was being offered to me! So much for an internal (house) supporter! But I walked away!!! I did it! I walked away. =) I'm gonna give myself a medal ...
Sooooooooooo this is day 12. =)
kiya

too cool kiya your doing great!... i wish i could walk away... my eating is way out of control... i am suppose to be careful with coffee too... and can really feel it when i have it... so i have been cutting it with decaff...lyn

You are being so proactive Kiya. I am glad you now have a set schedule and hopefully the mix ups will cease. Keep staying away from all the food that is not good for you. You are doing great!

BB

(((((((((((Lyn, B Bear)))))))))))))))))
Thanks =)

This evening and night were challenging, but i got through. I had choir practice (small group outside of real choir where they sing for an hour and party for 2). Prior to choir, i was having some really dangerous thinking about pills and cutting. I was remembering the thread in her about "is thinking about SI as bad as doing it" and that got me throug for a bit. i was kind of afraid to be alone tonight with the urges... but got through choir and made my self stay for the party. I was close to leaving but by some grace, someone brought a food i can actually eat - deviled eggs - and so i sat down with my age group and did eat (first time ever in 7 months at these). I also got talking with a guy there i may like, but that's another story. At any rate, I got though today even though it was close and that is good.
THank you again for the support!!!
Kiya

Go KiYa!!!!!!

How Wonderful!! You did it!!!! I know it's hard, but YOU did it!!
Congratulations!!

kiya i am sorry that the urges were so strong... but i am glad for deviled eggs... and that you could join in...lyn

Thanks MLP, Lyn

Today was harder - for a lot of reasons. I tried a new food (that by the book *should* be ok) but made me very very ill and i went to bed for half the day with a terrible stomachache. Once i was up again, I ran to the store and there was chocolate everywhere and terrible cravings. I got out fine, but there is also a lot in the house due to my roommate (mom). I did cave for one square of a really healthy kind with amino acids in it... and only ate half the square. I wasn't going to give myself a star today, but I may still give myself half a star for putting up a good fight and only eating half.
Urges were hard for SI as well - had some moments where i thought it was all out the window - but got by with unconscious cheek chewing.
I guess today is 12.5
hope everyone else is doing alright
((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))

Kiya a gold star for all the self help things you did. I am glad you didn't eat a bunch of chocolate and handled the new food you tried well. Don't sell yourself short.

BB

kiya... i think you get a gold star too... you did great... you are an inspiration...lyn

hmmmmmmmmmm....

today is another half star day. I notice that the less sleep i get (like the 3 hours last night) the harder it is to deal with the cravings and urges. I am at that point where if i don't keep my balance, I will spiral out of control.

It's superbowl sunday so naturally everyone is eating and drinking what they want. The store was lined with samples - I had a baby carrot - and there ain't a durn thing for me.... other than carrots, of course. I REALLY want pizza and ice cream!!!! I even talked myself out of being good and having "frozen dessert" which still makes me sort of sick.... thankfully (i guess) they were out! I ended up buying a health chocolate bar at the last minute and ate half of it (Sharing the other half). Technically I am not sure if it even counts as chocolate or not... has a lot of anti oxidents in it and chaste tree berry. I'm counting half a star for how I dealt with the situation (like a pouting 3 yr old).

I want pizza!!!!

sometimes it's ok to pout... do you have a health food store by you... cuz you can get carob and yogurt covered almonds and such... i find it really helps the cravings... i know you have dairy issues so maybe not the yogurt...lyn

oh yeah... and the lack of sleep makes it hard for me to cope also

Kiya, can you have Coolwhip? You can make yourself a float with frozen coolwhip and diet A&W rootbeer. Or pick your flavors according to what you like and can have. There's a possible substitute for ice cream. Can you have yogurt? Frozen yogurt is just as good as ice cream, I think, but I'm not sure all of what is on your allergy list. If it's dairy, stick with the coolwhip or try a sorbet with just fruit and no milk. That's in the ice cream section too. How about soy-based ice cream substitutes? Try a health food store for those. Some grocery stores have them too, probably in the health food or specialty food sections.

Thanks Rap.... I'm pretty much allergic to food. Anything processed, dairy, wheat, soy, beef, and right now even fruit is out (not that you asked)
What good can i share today?.... mmmmmmmmmm
I had a good t session. odd and rambling, but good.
i have some work....
Oh and i did avoid chocolate today =)
I keep forgetting abou carob, y'all.
Kiya

Well, cheek chewing has finally led to an infection. I do hope it is minor. I am rinsing with hydrogen proxide. It feels like there is a pea inside the skin.

I am glad you are taking care of yourself. Please get medical help if it doesn't clear up.

BB

(((((((((((thanks b bear))))))))))

i am sorry that your hurting...how is the infection today?

still swollen, but not as painful... i ran out of the rinse...