8 weeks today

i made it to 8 weeks... without cutting... i haven't done that in i a very long time...lyn

congratulations bchlyn. That is such an achievement. You must be feeling really pleased with yourself...

Yay lyn! That is awesome.

BB

That is absolutely great news!!! Congratulations


Jacq

(((((((((((lyn)))))))))))
I know what a struggle this has been for you. How is it sitting with you? Gold star for coming such a long way with it. (that's how I'm tracking my progress - gold stars on my calender).
You go, girl!

Lyn , keep it up. I havent been around lately much because ive been getting triggered. But im still thinking of you. and im so proud of you for trying. thats all anybody can ask of us is to try.

Take care,

Colleen

Gold Star to Colleen, too for taking care of self when getting triggered!

thank you

that is great news. I just found out from my sisters fionce that she had cut/ burned herself in the past. I envy everyone that can stop such a torturous activity.

well done!

ty

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzzyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba... i am giving myself permission to cut... in 10 minutes... sorry... but it's too hard

(((((((((((((((((((((((((lyn)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I hope you were able to resist cutting. I understand how difficult that is and if you found that it was too hard I understand too. I know you did your best and that is all you can ask. Please take care and try and stay safe.

BB

(((((((lyn)))))) how are you? What happened last night? Talk to us!
Hugs, Kiya

thank you for caring... just can't get and staying grounded... i had a really hard memory come up... and it is all tangled up... i didn't cut... but it's been minute by minute... my t appointment tonight was really hard... i know he isn't going to be gone that long... i just am really fearful of it all... i just don't want to keep on like this...it's too hard... i am not saying i am going to do anything... just really tired... my t is going to call my med doc tomorrow... i will be ok...how are you doing?...lyn

I'm alright. I am glad you are still in the game. I'm thinking about you out here.
Hope you're alright....
hugs and sweet dreams... kiya

I am sorry that things are so hard right now. I am glad that your t is helping you reach out for some help that you need. Maybe you can sort through some of what is going on. Can you call your t if you need to? Please take care and try and stay safe.

BB

kiya... so when you say your alright... are you alright? or alright? i am hoping your alright... i don't think i want to play anymore... i know that i need to go back on the anxiety meds...but i am so disappointed that i need too.

bb...thank you for your encouragement... yes i can call him until next tuesday then he is going to thailand... i did let him know that i was struggling with this and asked him if he had an appointment on monday, so it wouldn't be so long ... he is going to have his office manager call me...but she didn't call today.

on a somewhat possitive note... this has been the worst bout ever with my ptsd symptoms....it started on new years.... and i haven't cut... on friday it will be 9 weeks...so i guess i am getting better at coping in the midst of it all ... i just wish the thoughts and urges would go away...i am so tired...i don't know how much more of this i can handle... lyn

(((((((((((((((((((lyn)))))))))))))))))))))
I think my "alright" and your "alright" match. Coping but so tired of having to cope. Doing what is expected, even while wanting to mess up - and even gving self permission to mess up, but still holding on.

One day at a time..... then the next... don't look ahead - just look at today.
and keep checking in, eh?
kiya

(((((LYN))))) ... do you have any idea how strong you are? Probably not, so you'll just have to believe me when I tell you ... and maybe, if you hear it enough, you'll begin to believe it as my daughter has.

You came this close ...abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzzyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba ... but you were <u>strong</u> and stopped yourself. You TRIED and you WON. Think about it! You tried and you won! That's so freakin' impressive ... and YOU, Honey, are an inspiration!

I've learned quite a lot since coming here but the most interesting thing is that you and most of the others here don't see yourselves as STRONG. How is that when the urge to SI is so terrible, the pain is so great, the hurt is so awful, the want and the need to cut or burn are so overwhleming ... that when you <u>don't</u> do it, you can't see the STRENGTH that took?

Every time you TRY and you SUCCEED, it proves again that you're better than SI, that you deserve to be happy. And every time you TRY ... and WIN ... you get stronger!

It's the trying that's important and should be celebrated! Even when the urges and the addiction get out of control, you need to remember all those minutes, those hours, those days when you <u>were</u> strong.

Each one of you have a million times 10 more strong moments than weak ones. Celebrate trying ... rejoice in succeeding!

GoodMama

ty goodmama
kiya... i think your right... we do have a lot in common... today was a better day... not much anxiety.

it's 10 weeks 1 day and everyday is still a struggle... every empty minute... the thoughts to cut are there...i know that when i stopped before i just did it... the doctor in the er let me know that he didn't believe i accidentally broke that glass in my hand...he said the cuts were too deep and intense... that he thought i squeezed the glass in my hand... and my fear of exposure was strong enough to just stop... i didn't cut for 12 years...just ate myself to 280lbs ... i get that in control and loose 130lbs and the cutting began (much more intense)...when i am not cutting i am eating...grrrrrrr....i think i like the results from the cutting better then the results from the overeating...if i have my choice...thin and long sleeves... or fat and short sleeves...hmmm guess my t will enjoy this topic...sorry as you can see i am a mess again...lyn

Oh your sense of humor gave me a moment's laugh, even if you did not laugh. "thin and long sleeves... or fat and short sleeves...hmmm guess my t will enjoy this topic"

I'm out here if you need to talk or vent. or pm. misery loves company.

when i wrote that i wasn't smiling...but now i am... ty... lyn

sorry i missed you on here. it was the sardonic "guess my t will enjoy this topic" that had me snickering. and still smilng. but i'm weird like that. i'm still snickering over my call to t today in how serious she was. it's a coping thing you know - laugh to break up the tension. gets me in troubble sometimes.
kiya