[Rapunzel]

I'm wondering if very many other people have the same experience that I do. I've never done serious damage (never anything needing medical attention) to myself, but what I do is often pretty frequent. It goes in spurts - sometimes I cut once or twice a week, or more, but not really badly. It's worse when i have not done anything in a while, but as long as it is regular and controlled, it's not bad. If I'm not cutting there is always something else. It might be some kind of picking, or numerous other things - I get rather innovative - or not eating or not drinking water, or otherwise neglecting some part of self-care. It's constant, but not a big deal. Does this happen to any of you?

[dalila]

Would delaying to use the rest room till you're having cramps count? Otherwise yah I pick I pinch I dig at my scalp bite my nails and cuticles. I rarely go further than that and don't even have many scars cos I have always felt it was my pain and the world didn't need to know about it. I managed to hide 4 or 5 inch long cuts on my thighs from my dh until they were nearly healed. I am sorry you are going through this it sucks big time.

~D~

[Rapunzel]

I had to think of something today that my husband wouldn't see evidence of when he gets back in 3 days, so I settled on scrubbing off as much skin as I could with a dry luffa spunge after my bath (especially where the skin was already raw and where i had small cuts), and trying not to eat anything. Taking laxatives and not eating doesn't leave evidence - done that before (doesn't count if it's herbal, right?) and it hurts. Am I going to get bleeped here?

[wisewoman]

Rap, it's interesting to think about other ways of self harming. While I have not cut since late may or early June i am aware of these scars on my legs that are not fading and the fact that eventhough she knows, my doc will see them when I go for my yearly next month. I do lots of stuff that may be self harm. Always wait too long for bathroom, always put others needs before mine. At work at least. Been messing with my meds a bit. I am okay with it for now. I want to not be making 1/2 inch cuts in my legs and belly. I feel good that I haven't done that in a while. Strong feelings make me want to do something. But I am learning to reach out a little and name the feeling to someone so I can have some relief. Today it was Cancer kid and her flight to children's and hemmorage. I told so I didn't need to hide and hurt. Hope this makes sense. I know I am disjointed in my thinking right now. take care.

[Rapunzel]

I enjoyed talking to you about this last night. There are so many things we can do to abuse and neglect ourselves besides cutting or burning. Sometimes it's just neglecting our self-care. I know I do little stuff like this all the time, and I bet that lots of people do and aren't even aware of why they are doing it and how it helps them cope. I generally feel like I function better overall when I am doing these things, and I'm afraid of what I might do if I tried to stop.

You take care too! Thanks for your reply.

[Zenobia]

I rarely do things that leave permenant noticeable scars. Most injuries become unnoticable within a week or two. If scars form they are so small they aren't really noticable unless you are really looking for them. I find the more worked up I get the more likely it is that I will do greater damage, thus leaving more scarring. I tend to do small things before I get to the point of doing the big things. This makes quitting difficult because as I start getting worked up while trying not to hurt myself I start worrying that if I don't hurt myself will I hurt myself worse latter on when/if I fail to calm myself with these new coping techniques I am not all that good at using. It is scary. I want to stop but it seems to me that the effort to stop may be putting me in greater harm's way. It is my hope that if I keep working on learning how to interact with people that I will get triggered less which will naturally lessen the need to SI.
Carrie <font color="purple">

[Zenobia]

Oh, and a reminder to people to try to keep away from graphic depictions of what you do to self injure. I think we are ok so far but we need to be careful not to trigger anybody.
CK <font color="purple">