[Typo]

As you can see my counter is gone. I'm sorry everyone..I am so sorry. I couldn't do it. I knew today was the day I would cave. With all the horrible dreams I have been having about my dead grandmother, with all of the flashbacks of the car wreck, with all of the surreal feelings I have been havings I just couldn't do it...I just couldn't. I hate myself so much right now..by hurting myself I have hurt all of you. You have all been so wonderful and supportive and I didnt' make it to my goal.I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I feel like I'm going to explode..how much longer do I have to feel like this..how much longer must I suffer. I'm tired of hiding my madness..I want to scream..I want to cry...I just want to give into it all..I'm tired of trying to hold on to what little sanity I have..I just want to explode and show everyone how messed up I really am..That I fear everything, That sometimes I hear voices, That I have nightmares, that I am scared of myself, that I beleve in the end everyone really hates me and is out to get me, that I am useless, That I have a hole in my heart, in my chest, in my soul, I'm sorry everyone..I am truly sorry I let all of you down. I have to go or I'll bust into tears and then my parents will ask questions I can't afford to answer.
Once again I'm sorry.

[Christina86]

Sssssssssh.... breathe. Calm down. It's okay. Nobody is disappointed with you here. We all love you for who you are, and for the simple act of trying. Really, nobody is let down (unless you count yourself, which maybe is how you feel).

You don't have to be sorry (((((((((Silversparrow)))))))))))))) things have been rough lately, haven't they? I'm sorry for that... but you did the best you could, really.

Nobody hates you here, we only care about your well being. I promise.

Please be kind to yourself, you really are a good person.

[x_BabyG_x]

Its ok silversparrow... we have all experienced the guilt after an episode, we can all relate to it.

We cant just stop our behaviour straight away, so next time try and beat your counter, ok? Take it slowly and we'll all get there eventually

take care, babyg xxx

[Kiya]

Silver, there is no judgement in this forum. none at all. you are coping with a lot of stress, fear, flachbacks, nightmares. breathe in..... breathe out.... count to 10... breathe again.... be still and just let the feeling of us all caring for you envelope you. you are ok. it doesn't feel like it, but you are ok. ok has nothing to do with what is going on around you, i know. you are cared for. breathe it in...
there is no possible way to dissapoint anyone. we've all been there. keep breathing.... try to give yourself some love and care for your injuries. be loving with yourself - it is never too late to start.
I care about you kiya

[bchlyn]

silver ... kind of think lots of us are struggling... you know i use to count the days i didn't cut ... and then when i cut... i felt like i was back at start... and that was so discouraging... my t has me keep a chart... but we both realized i was looking at it the wrong way... he uses it to track my cycle... but instead of looking at my failures... he wants me too look at my successes... not my slips... it' has helped me not feel as guilty when i do slip... so i don't stay there as long... soooo don't look at it as a failure... look at it as all the days you didn't.... you "are" doing great and you give me hope...lyn

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((((((Siversparrow))))))))))))))))))))) You have not disappointed me in the least. I understand your pain and think you have been trying so hard. That is what is important. I hope you continue trying.

I know the feeling of chaos you may be feeling. With everything going on inside. Can you take a deep breath and see if that helps. Try to slow down all those negative thoughts.

Please be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

BB

[Typo]

I'm calmer today..yesterday was a bad day..so was today..but tomorrow is a new day. And I'm trying to breathe a little bit. I'm going to start thearpy this May after I graduate. Thank you all so much..I'll rember from now on I have such a wonderful group of friends here on pc.

Lots of hugs..and Thank you you guys make it a little bit easier to breathe
Silver

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( Silversparrow ))))))))))))))

[Jully]

(((silver)))

[crazybones]

no one is perfect we all have slip ups now and then all you can do is get back up on ur feet and try again

[bchlyn]

how are you today...lyn

[Typo]

I was doing okay..I had gone two days but I had to bury two kittens that my dog killed and it really triggerd me. I'm trying though. Thank you for asking. How are you doing bchlyn? Hugs

[bchlyn]

i am sorry about your kittens ... that would be really hard... take things a little at a time... and be gentle with yourself... i am hanging in there... things are really hard right now... lyn

[Typo]

(((bchlyn)))
Keep hanging on dear!! Like you said a little at a time.

[Christina86]

Awwww (((((((((((((Silversparrow)))))))))))))) I'm sorry... that's hard. Keep at it, you can do this.

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((silver)))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry about your kittens.

(((((((((((((((((lyn)))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry things are so hard.

BB

[I_miss_my_kitty]

its gonna be ok we all fall sometimes as you can see mine changed.