 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Jun 12, 2008, 09:51 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Is it considered self injury if you let other people hurt you? Or if you use other people to hurt yourself (mentally or physically)?
For example, if I have sex with a guy who I know will hurt me if I dont go back to him? Or if I surround myself with the wrong kind of people? Things like those?
__________________
A day to remember is the day I forget. A day to forget is the day I remember. |
|
#2
Jun 13, 2008, 12:44 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I don't know if it's self-injury specifically as a term, but it would (probably) fall under the category of "destructive behaviours".
If you let other people hurt you because you feel you deserve it... that's one thing. If you let other people hurt you because you like the feeling of pain (like massochism)... that's another thing. If you let other people hurt you because you don't want to hurt yourself, but feel you deserve to be hurt and use someone else as the "force" to do it... that is also another thing. It depends on things... people from an abusive background of any sort can perpetuate the cycle and keep going back into that same sort of situation with many people ... because they feel they deserve it, and/or it is all that they know and it seems like a normal behaviour/pattern. I'm sorry, I'm not really answering your question... I seem to be asking you more questions for you to ask yourself. But no, I don't think allowing other people to hurt you is a form of self-injury in principe/by definition as I've come to understand it. Just my opinion. ((((((((((((((damajdancer)))))))))))))))) If you need to talk at all, or have any other questions, you can PM me and I'm willing to listen and help if I can.
__________________
|
|
#3
Jun 13, 2008, 01:54 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
yeah, i dunno either, but i think christina came up with some good points. i think it does fall in the destructive behaviors.... and we have to heal the mindset that allows us to go there.
(((((((((dancer)))))))
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
|
|
#4
Jun 13, 2008, 02:27 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Like Christina said, it all depends on your motive--and whether or not you want to change these patterns of behavior.
Try to treat yourself with love and respect. But in order to do that, you must surround yourself with people who love and respect you. From past experience, I know how tough these patterns of behavior are to break. Believe in yourself and keep reaching out. With love and support,    J
__________________
"One by one, as they march, our comrades vanish from our sight, seized by the silent orders of omnipotent death. Very brief is the time in which we can help them, in which their happiness or misery is decided. Be it ours to shed sunshine on their path, to lighten their sorrows by the balm of sympathy, to give them the pure joy of a never-tiring affection, to stregthen failing courage, to instill faith in hours of despair." -Bertrand Russell With love and hope, <~/J\~> |
|
#5
Jun 13, 2008, 11:13 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I used to cut and burn. But I havent done that in about eight months. But I still have the urge to hurt (not for pleasure, but for the same reasons I cut and burn, I feel like I deserve to be unhappy). I just dont want to do it to myself and feel guilty about it. Even though I still feel guilty about letting myself be a tool, I know its not me doing the direct part. I come from a heavy abusive backround and some of it has just recently ended. But I dont mean to let others hurt me, its not like i plan it all out. I just mingle with the wrong crowd and socialize with the wrong guys, knowing that there is a big chance of getting hurt. I want to change, but I dont know how.
__________________
A day to remember is the day I forget. A day to forget is the day I remember. |
|
#6
Jun 13, 2008, 05:36 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'm sorry to hear that... How long did you cut/burn, and do you know about when it started? If you don't derive any satisfaction from the pain, it does sound like you're reenacting old relationship patterns by letting others hurt you. Do you have a therapist? Talking it over with a professional might be the most direct way of finding a solution.
You don't have any good friends who you can rely on and turn to for supoport and comfort? I kind of understand your predicament... Back here at home, I'm surrounded by drug-using/dealing, heavy-drinking, violent 'friends' and don't really have anyone to turn to for emotional support. But you need to try to be your own friend first. Take care, and keep posting; we'll try our best to help you through this. (((((((((damajdancer)))))))))) J
__________________
"One by one, as they march, our comrades vanish from our sight, seized by the silent orders of omnipotent death. Very brief is the time in which we can help them, in which their happiness or misery is decided. Be it ours to shed sunshine on their path, to lighten their sorrows by the balm of sympathy, to give them the pure joy of a never-tiring affection, to stregthen failing courage, to instill faith in hours of despair." -Bertrand Russell With love and hope, <~/J\~> |
|
#7
Jun 13, 2008, 05:48 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I cut and burned for about four years. For me it was quite simple to stop, I just found what was causing me to want to harm myself, like a motive. Once I knew I just didnt have a desire to do it anymore. But I guess these urges can really come back. I am getting back into therapy next week, its been about nine months since I have had any kind of therapy. I have a couple of good friends, but they get angry with me when I do this to myself. So they're not always available.
Im sorry to hear about your home life. Hang in there.
__________________
A day to remember is the day I forget. A day to forget is the day I remember. |
|
#8
Jun 13, 2008, 08:38 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'm glad to hear you're getting back into therapy. Please take care of yourself until you get to see him/her; I'll try to do the same.
Take care, J
__________________
"One by one, as they march, our comrades vanish from our sight, seized by the silent orders of omnipotent death. Very brief is the time in which we can help them, in which their happiness or misery is decided. Be it ours to shed sunshine on their path, to lighten their sorrows by the balm of sympathy, to give them the pure joy of a never-tiring affection, to stregthen failing courage, to instill faith in hours of despair." -Bertrand Russell With love and hope, <~/J\~> |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
Similar Threads
|
||||
| Thread | Forum | |||
| Question. | Survivors of Abuse | |||
| Question? | Anxiety, Panic and Phobias | |||
| My Big Question. | Dissociative Disorders | |||
| Question | Other Mental Health Discussion | |||
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
