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#1
Nov 02, 2004, 04:10 AM
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I was so angry with my bf last night, and then my bro lied about some things we talked about...got even more angrier! There goes the razor...my wrist...you get the picture! I didn't know how to deal with all this anger. It went away when I cut so everything's cool...in my eyes they are anyways.
I never realized how important it was for me to see the blood. I mean I can cut all I want...but without the blood there is no high...no pride...no satisfaction. I got so hyper and very happy when I saw the blood. I don't know if anyone else is that way...but hey it's good for what ails you...for about three days anyways.
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"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey |
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#2
Nov 02, 2004, 09:27 AM
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((((Lexi))))
Yes the blood can be pretty exciting. But si is a temporary fix. It feels good for a little bit, but the feelings always get bad again. I'm sorry that you were angry enough to take it out on yourself. Angela
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 Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name ~Alanis Morissette |
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#3
Nov 02, 2004, 04:40 PM
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(((Lexi)))
I'm so sorry that your brother lied to you and the bf made you mad. It must've been very frustrating. I hope that things get better for you. I understand the rush all too well. But it fades, as Angela says, a temporary fix. It always comes back. But I'll tell you. I haven't cut in a longgggg time. I have not even counted, but I'd say 2 years. Not that the urges aren't there, but the more time that goes by the easier it is to fight them. And believe me they are strong, so strong sometimes, I just know it's gotta happen, but I stop myself. And it feels good. I wish you luck. You've been through alot and my heart goes out to you. Above all, take care of yourself, Kimberly. |
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#4
Nov 02, 2004, 09:55 PM
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(((((((Lexicon))))))) I kno exactly how u feel. Sometimes I don't even remember pulling out the knife, it's just automatic. DOesn't it feel like the deeper the cut, the more blood, the more u've accomplished? It's wierd...I've heard alot of people giving me advice about stuff to do to distract myself when I wanna cut, one was to like take red nail polish or something and paint ur arm. I thought that was very creative and even tho I've never tried it so I dont kno if it works, maybe it'll help. Stay strong
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