Dealing with issues, one at a time.

Well..where to start...? Just as a bit of insight, I was raised in a family of women, and I feel that has a lot to do with this particular issue.
I feel more emotionally attracted to women than men. I can really appreciate how beautiful some women are, both physically and otherwise. When I "see" myself 10 years from now, assuming all works out well, I see myself with a woman, not a man, and I feel the only way to have a really meaningful relationship or if I were to ever have a "soul mate" it would have to be with a women. Sexually though, there is no attraction there for me with women. Breasts, bums, neither of those do anything for me, and to be completely honest, the "other side" kind of grosses me out. What does attract me is the skin, the face, teeth, eyes, personality, body style and fashion sense. I'm way more old fashion and respectful about any kind of relationship with women, and I've always been that way.
It is extremely hard for me to admit this, even on a forum where I will probably never meet anyone on here irl, but it's about the exact opposite as far as men are concerned though.
I don't consider myself to be Gay, and just a note it is 100% not a matter of disrespect in any way shape or form, but the thought has never crossed my mind, though it has crossed the minds of others. Especially those more... "abrasive" guys who seem to talk about nothing but sports, cars, and women's breasts or otherwise.
Anyway, i'm starting to rant and lose my trail of thought, so I'll wrap this up. So, i'm interested in hearing some theories. I'm thinking it may be a "phase" that will change after I've had the chance to have intercourse with a woman, or that could confirm otherwise. I could be gay, or would it be possible to have some sort of an emotional but sex free relationship with a women while I just "use" men for that purpose? (Yeah..after saying it..that doesn't seem like such a great idea but all the same...)

I think if you're emotionally attracted to someone then you might find them sexually attractive as well. Though I wouldn't go and have sex with a woman who you don't know that well and don't have an emotional connection to and then feel grossed out. I think right now you might look at women too objectively with the whole "boobs, bums" thing. Unless there's an emotional connection between you and another person it might be hard to get turned on just like that by picturing images of a woman's body and expect to get all flustered. Maybe if you're lucky enough to truly fall in love with someone then the physical aspect won't be so daunting and unattractive anymore. But I'm only speaking from my own interpretation. It might not be the same for you.

For me I found that as a woman...

sex with women = Sex by intrigue
sex with men = Sex by force

Obviously i have issues with men and being raped/molested but there it is. I'm not a fan of oral sex so sex with women kind grosses me out but I can't help but be more attracted to women. The soft, kind, compassionate side of women that you don't find so much with men. Still i sleep with both men and women.

Don't worry about talking about things here, this is a real safe place.

Love and hugs,
Tara