Help! Read please.

I'm kinda desperate. all my life i've liked women and still do. I'm 22 years old(male). ive had girlfriends, fell in love, etc etc. ive never questioned my sexuality. but 2 weeks ago i've been having thoughts in my mind and asking myself WHAT IF?...this has been on my mind 24/ 7 and it's bothering me and i feel frustrated for even questioning who I am. and I've even tried looking at same sex porn but it doesnt even turn me on, I just feel weird looking at it and it's very uncomfortable for me to even watch it. and whats bothering me is that since these thoughts have crossed my mind i keep telling myself that i should find every woman i see attractive and when I see a male I try to really feel something so I find an answer but I just feel nothing, I just feel confused and uncomfortable but the funny thing is I see chicks online and turn me on a lot online. I also wanna point out that these thoughts began when i was on the computer. I've never had any trouble with someone of the same sex in person like a lot of people have who say they get nervous or feel horny when they see someone of the same sex in person. I mean I suppose it's normal to admit or realize when another man is good looking right? Most of the time when I see someone who is good looking I say to myself I wish I looked like them but not necessarily that I like them, so maybe I've mixed up these feelings or something else, I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE!

I dont know what else to write, I never thought i'd be here writing about this situation. Hopefully some of you people can tell me what you think of my case and let me know what can I do. Thanks a lot!

Relax! It does not appear that you are either gay or bisexual since seeing m2m sex does not arouse you. It appears that you are having unwanted thoughts / fantasies. Your personal investigation has shown that they are not true for your sexual orientation which is heterosexual. They are just thoughts, acknowledge them but do not engage them when they appear. My experience with unwanted thoughts / fantasies is that they often go away when you talk to someone about them. Because of the subject matter and how much it upsets you, please consider seeing a therapist; you might only need 2-3 visits to feel better.

In my mind it doesn't matter about whether you are gay, straight, bi, whatever. Do you really need to classify yourself? Who for? Can you just accept that whoever you are attracted to that's it. Just because you have feelings for same or opposite sex does not necessarily change who you will end up with if at all.

I don't know if I'm explaining this well, but I kinda see it as just letting attraction happen which ever gender it is, not looking to place yourself in one category. If you go on dates and decide you don't like that male or female, it doesn't mean you don't like all of those of that gender. I guess it seems to me like you're eager to know exactly what you are in terms of sexuality, but maybe dropping that could leave you feeling a lot more settled.

Hi, BTC,

You need to understand that there may be a part or parts of your own mind that gets some kind of satisfaction out of persecuting and torturing you. One way of doing that is by subjecting you to thoughts that the conscious you will find painful and upsetting, regardless of whether or not those thoughts are true. In a sense, you're doing this to yourself. Not the conscious you, but one of the other pieces of your mind that live in the dark.

All our minds are constructed of those different parts. Their existence by no means indicates you have any mental illness. Nor do such thoughts have any bearing at all on your own sexual preferences. They're just a kind of self-torture. Therapists do understand this kind of thing. I would very much go along with unhappyguy and suggest a few visits to a therapist. Same as you'd go to a dentist if you had a really bad toothache. It's NOT a big deal, even though I'm sure it's very painful and upsetting for you. In the meanwhile, take care!

I think you can identify as hetero and still wonder what it might be like with a guy.
I think lots of people(of any orientation) do that.

Hey, look up HOCD and see what you think...

I suffer from HOCD and it makes me question my sexuality. I have even before tried to say to myself "ok im gay", but i just couldnt accept it. Im not gay but the thoughts make me think "what if".

I have found, if you feed or fight them it becomes more fustrating. Try working around it. Ask youself things like, "why am i thinking this?", and then question what follows the answer..........eventully you will have forgotten what you were thinking about.

I relate to you & it is stressful...but you know what you are into... No more checking, you are feeding the thought - and its only a thought...

At another site I belonged to, I told everyone in a thread that I was bi. Some people replied with how they get vibes from people online and some of them were the same sex.

You are just probably feeling some good vibes from people online and end up fantasizing about them. People can come off online with a personality that you can feel and they don't always have to be the same sex as you are.

Sex is a very confusing subject, and everyone's thoughs (inner thoughts) are probally just as confused as yours are, I know mine are. It's hard to accept having unusual thoughts/ideas but just because you have a though or fantasy, doesn't mean you are anything other than who you are. And thinking about men doesn't make you gay.