Getting real tired of gender assumptions.

I am 23 years old, I am unable to have children, and I put my education before relationships or marriage. I will not forget this discussion because this is something I face EVERY DAY. Be that someone groping me in the grocery store to see "what I have" or someone telling me I deserve the frustrations because I am different.

So don't you get why this is upsetting me so much? All I wanted to do was start a conversation and maybe answer constructive questions with constructive answers so people COULD understand me and others like me more, and could go away with knowing more than they did before. Instead, I am told to "listen". I am told that I am "provoking". I am told that no one cares, yet people her admitted to assuming gender based on a bloody icon. I am serious because this is what I have to do everyday in my "real life" where I am not anonymous and people are free to do what they will to me because I am different.

I was actually enjoying my day. I was actually, truly and honestly happy for the first time in a very long while. And this thread, some of you, completely ruined that for me.

I have friends on this forum. And those friends, they have never spoken to me this way before. And they never will.

DrSkipper, thank you for being the sole constructive thinker here. I will make a thread on this board giving explanations for all gender identities and what they mean. I will do it when I am not triggered.

I'm done here for now.

This is better, but not clear. Everyone uses "they" pronouns. You want people to refer to you by "they" pronouns.

Keep in mind that some people still "know" that you are "he" and some people still think of you as "she". They may not see your message before referring to you.

To be honest, "getting real tired of it" followed with lamenting that know one knows your true identity and how it's everyone's fault that you're not being treated the way you want to be treated is not the proper footing for a constructive debate. To be angry with people at the grocery store who criticize your sex and sexuality is normal. To be angry that people on the internet, where no one has avatars that represent their true sex or sexuality (I've seen guys with fairies and butterflies as their avatar, and me with gay men as my avatar), are unaware of others true sex/sexuality is rather provoking. A problem I see with LGBT in general, being from Cali and going through a bisexual phase myself, is that when some of them are so well educated on who they are, they assume that because others aren't aware of the problems they face that they are insensitive, when really they are just uneducated. So a debate with others who are uneducated isn't much of a debate.

Like I said, creating a thread specifically for genderfluid and genderqueer would be really helpful for those who aren't aware with what they deal with, etc.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/sexua...ml#post3245026

Here is the thread. I have posted all of the information I can at the moment. Please, PLEASE be respectful. I am willing to answer questions, etc. As long as it is a respectful and safe environment for everyone.

Thank you.

I'll be honest here, I did not read everything on this post (read the original and skimmed th replies) as a lesbian woman I think I hear you loud and clear I personally am very feminine but on the occasion that I throw on a baseball cap and tshirt to run to the store I have gotten the occasional "sir" , my wife on the other hand is very masculine in her appearance and gets "sirred" alll the time. My point is if people make assumpitons in real life, I'm not sure that you can expect them not to online where all they have to go on is your avatar and username. Personally I couldn't care less what gender anyone is on here as long as we all keep working together. You have to have faith and love and respect for yourself enough to know that "coming out" means having to do it over and over again. It is not common knowledge to ask what gender someone is... I for one would be offended if someone asked me if I was a man or a woman. Be proud of who you are whomever it may be!

What you need to understand is that people often get idea about what gender someone is by their avatar. If I or someone else had pictures of pink butterflies or fairies, or unicorns with daisy chains, people would possibly assume I was female. Especially if I was also called princesslove or some name like that.

Likewise, If I was called Alphadog with a picture of Robert De Niro as my avatar people would assume I was male. That's part of what humans do, we assume things, and often in both cases it would be correct.

Being tired of people assuming gender is a bit of nonsense really. Because you're not going to stop people assuming that.

I probably should stay far away from this thread but... what is so bad about gender assumptions? Yes I have read the key posts in the thread and I'm very sorry this bothers you so much but... is it really so important or so terrible that we make gender assumptions. Is it really even that prevalent? The only time gender or sexual orientation matters to me here is when it might be helpful in forming an answer to a post. We go through life relying on small irrelevant assumptions because asking about every small detail that doesn't seem important in our interactions with others would be incredibly time consuming.
It would also seem to be an invasion of privacy and very awkward to ask everyone we come into contact with to give us a detailed analysis of their sexuality/gender identifications.
The only important thing to me is what type of person you are. Are you good/bad/boring/interesting etc.
Why make life more complicated than it already is?

Good post, pretty much how I feel about this too. I even tried injecting some humor in to this thread and that did not go over very well. I think age has some thing to do with it too. He/they/them is only 23 years old. Give him/her/they/them some time.

I agree. Plus, the mind does the work it does without our conscious efforts. The mind probably finds it hard to deal with anonymity, so it fills in the gap by imagining concrete details - age, gender, location, etc.

Plus, human mind is known to have the ability and need to fill in the blanks - I do not know how to look for it on the web, but there are texts out there - without some of the letters. But still enough to understand. Because the mind fills in the blanks fine. Most of the time.

They can still read the thread. My pronouns are listed in my signature.

Old age does not promise higher intelligence, young age does not promise ignorance.

Hear! Hear! ... Well Said ... !!!