[IndieVisible]

Originally Posted by Teen Idle

It is by some people. I know some people go into therapy for it, and I am not quite sure the in and outs of that because I do not see it as a disorder. But dysphoria does count for something.

Please don't take this the wrong way, apparently some people take me the wrong way at times. I'm not trying to be rude, but what exactly is the difference between GID and what you are talking about in this thread. I think clearing that up would be helpful for a lot of people that honestly see no difference.

[Confusedinomicon]

If you identify as non-binary is it still the same as trans* or does it overlap?

[Grey Matter]

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

Please don't take this the wrong way, apparently some people take me the wrong way at times. I'm not trying to be rude, but what exactly is the difference between GID and what you are talking about in this thread. I think clearing that up would be helpful for a lot of people that honestly see no difference.

GID has been dropped from psychological texts and no longer is a diagnosis. I do not have a gender identity disorder because, though I am not one sex or gender, I do not feel disordered. It makes perfect sense to me. Some days I wake up and I feel more masculine, and that's fine. Some days I wake up and feel more feminine. That's fine. Sometimes I feel neither (usually this is the case) and it does not cause me to feel panicked or uncomfortable. The only time I am uncomfortable is if someone triggers me, be that intentionally or unintentionally. Such as asking invasive questions, using slurs, etc.

A lot of non-binary folks feel the same as I do. It just is. It's either fluid, or it's still, or it's neither or. Dysphoria isn't a disorder per say, it is a side effect of our bodies not matching our genders. It is also a side effect of flawed social constructs that make non-binary/trans* folk feel like aliens.

[Grey Matter]

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

If you identify as non-binary is it still the same as trans* or does it overlap?

They can overlap! I consider myself a non-binary trans* person. Some just see themselves as non-binary. In my experience, the two do sometimes overlap.

So, I usually identify as my birth gender as it's just easier and doesn't cause me a lot of stress most of the time. But I feel like deep within me there's almost like another person of the opposite sex. So I feel like I'm both, but predominately my birth gender.

Fun fact—I was conceived literally right after my brother died so I always wondered if either his soul was transferred into my body and I have both a male and female soul or maybe just a male soul in a female body. I know a lot of people don't believe in that stuff...but I don't know, it was kinda freaky because if he hadn't have be born prematurely, I wouldn't have been conceived or born at all.

But back on topic...if I'm predominantly my birth gender but I feel like I simultaneously have the other gender within me would that make me? Or would I just be cisgendered because I have identified as such (even though I don't feel like that's entirely accurate)...I'm just not brave enough to visibly show my more male traits...I used to wear pretty much just "masculine" clothes but it's always scary the first time that you want to wear a tux around people that know you as a girl...and I feel like I've felt pressured to become more effeminate as my body shape has become more effeminate. But I yearn to be more androgynous, but without losing too much of my hair (I love my hair). I also sometimes wish I could have facial hair, a lower voice, the strength of a guy, and a smaller chest—my chest isn't huge, but it's big enough that I don't think I could ever pull off being "male". I've also wanted to start going by a more androgynous name as mine is pretty effeminate.

I've thought about whether I want a sex change or not, but realized that I'm fine with my biological gender, but wish I could express my gender somewhere in between.

I could go on about some of the confusion I've had...like guys (predominantly straight, I presume) complementing me on my tux/suits etc., but then making me feel like a freak when I wear a dress (I feel like a freak in a dress and most skirts anyway). I feel like I'm being treated like I'm a guy...it's very confusing. Guys get really mean, defensive, scared etc. if I express interest in them. With girls...even if they're straight, they don't seem to be offended (although I haven't really directly expressed interest in any so perhaps I'm wrong).

My point is, I present myself a "female", even though I don't feel like I am 100% female, but I'm treated like I'm a guy pretending to be female. And nearly everyone one here (in chat anyway) assumes I'm a guy...which doesn't bother me—I'm actually kind of proud of that. But, I'm also very confused. I'm also confused about my sexuality (I know that's a completely different thing, but for me there's an overlap). I think the male and female side of me are attracted to different people...like my male side likes more effeminate guys for example.

[Grey Matter]

Hey, you identify with how you're comfortable! And you show it with how your comfortable. No matter how you dress, or how you appear, your gender identity is yours and should be respected either way. Maybe you are bi-gender? Meaning you are both binary genders and it fluctuates?

That's possible, though one is predominate. Although, that could be because I suppress the other one. I was more open to it until I moved away to go to grad school and I was too afraid to see if I could "get away with it". That and my body shape has drastically changed since I moved, so I needed new clothes. And since I seem to be more interested in guys, I just thought that I had to be more effeminate and so I started wearing mostly junior's clothes/clothes that I had when I was younger and dressed more like a girl. That hasn't worked to attract anybody though...also doesn't help that I don't like masculine guys which eliminates the vast majority of straight guys. And I don't know any bi guys or non-binary gendered people (am I saying that correctly?).

Anyway, I'm caught between not really knowing what exactly I want because I'm too afraid to explore. I have finally found a place where I'm not a weirdo and where I'm treated with respect for the most part...I really don't want to jeopardize that. I also don't want to confuse other people until I have a definite idea what/who I am. Otherwise, they won't take me seriously and I wouldn't blame them.

I've tried to join different GLBT groups, but I always feel like I don't belong. Like I'm not really one of them—like I'm not "gay" enough. And I still go by my birth gender.