Am I the only one?

I maybe different as in this mindset I grew up believing. I am a male, don't believe in double standards, but in respect for humanity instead. I was abused my whole life, I am very much in touch with my sexuality. I am straight, slightly bi curious, but I think that's temporary. The thing is I can't marry, I don't believe in the concept completely impractical. I want be in a polyamorous relationship. I know deep down I be happy with a group than just one. My city isn't poly friendly from both the straight and gay communities. I am recently coming to terms I am ok being a man, but I've see myself as a woman since birth. I thought if I was a woman born one, I could be a better lover to other women, but I'm happy being a sensitive dude. I just know how to respect myself the females. I love women I grew up around them, but I have a brain like a female I talk like them sometimes. I am like the urban dictionary definition of a male lesbian, even though it sounds preposterous on face value. I read into it as a hetero man trapped in his body as a female. That's so me, I would love to feel beautiful go through the pain having a baby going through so much to give back. That's what makes me this way, I would appreciate it greatly over what I am. I am not an ugly dude, I've been complimented on my looks before. I just hate having to feel like the monogamy thing is mandatory for anything anymore, because I have to put that in the closet. I am sexually attracted to on a basic level having a physical group relationship with 2 females or 3 only, but that feeling of family together as a group is comforting to me. Truly is, it's sad that people don't see what I see. I don't cheat, never cheated in a single relationship been cheated on, dated some nasty women who were very much open legs after me or before. It was horrible. I get scared having sex because of that, I'm not afraid of getting close, more of ruining something over something stupid like that. I do have a lot of physical feelings that women have. I had a weird incident when I was greiving I had contractions like a woman would when on a period or labor it was very painful, but now when I think of it. If I had the body and the looks, I could do so much more with a face of recognition of what I stand for I am feminist, but I'm not stupid either on this. I read a lot and know both men and women need the respect deserved and double standards are basically not doing anything but making the gap wider and ruining what is left of love. I really believe I would love a woman with all my heart and the group too. I truly have feelings for each and everyone of them, but I know enough bout poly relationships they are more challenging that a regular relationship. The thing is I would prefer all of them to be bi in any way, because I want their love not projected to me, but to each other physically I think 3 girls would even out the playing field and fair. I can't have guys right now, because that's not what I want. That's all I have for that one rule for the group. I'm not a favorites person, I just want to have fun in the moment with some really cool ladies. I lived my whole life growing up with women. I want to hopefully have a lifelong relationship that resembles that. What people don't get I have to hide it in where I live? it's out of my citie's cutural norm especially, but it's in my personality and my innate nature to have the utmost desire for it. I would rather have that, than a monogamous relationship, but I can still do it though fine. It's hard. much love everyone.

You need to find a dating site that promotes the kinds of relationship you are looking for. I have often thought I would like for my husband to have other wives just to take the pressure off of me to be his everything.(when we were first married) I think I could share a man, I think I could raise another woman's child, I can think of a lot of advantages to this way of living. It is not unheard of, it is just not the social norm. That is the only advice I have to offer. I do know now that this is not the kind of relationship that would work for me though. Find a dating site that promotes this way of living.

A friend of mine is married to a bi woman. She shares her hubby. She has a girlfriend who lives not to far away and they all share meals, responsibilities of the children and everything. He doesn't mind. He likes to have sex with his wife and be a participant in the sex his wife and her friend have. On occasion he has sex with her friend as well. It seems to work great for them. Would something like this work for you or is this not what you are thinking.

There are people that feel that same way you do. There's quite a bit in the news these days about poly-relationships. Personally, I'm as loyal as well trained dog and completely monogamous, but what works for some doesn't work for others and as long as nobody is getting hurt then I don't really worry about it.

Cincinnati seems like a metropolitan enough area... have you tried tried searching on Meetup? I thought that these days you can find anything on meetup, including that proverbial needle...

It's true it's a huge city, but it's much more conservative on monogamy than I've actually could comprehend. Poly relationships aren't out of the question here, just it's much more prevalent that many women aren't like that. There is a community, but it's really small compared to other cities in the US that are more friendlier to it. Most of the poly relationships here are like men and women in their 40's 50's 60's and so on. If there is younger people, I doubt it, but it doesn't stop me though. I haven't been around anyone who supports this. I don't want marriage mainly because it's not needed. I'd rather go without the benefits and have the relationship on love not for the reason for financial stuff. That's how I roll with that. People are different, I just get so much crap from it and surprisingly the gay community and friends I know who have friends that are lesbians mostly or gay guys talk **** to my face and expect me to have a homosexual relationship if I am poly. I'm not required for that, that's not me. It literally bugs me when anyone throws that ignorance around and expects me to take it no. I'm not, I know what I want and comfortable. I had enough hookups and dating relationships to know I am not monogamous whatsoever. I just tolerate it. It is hard sometimes, but thanks everyone for the answers.

Yeah it's cool yo, but I'm like just turned 20. I knew bout this in gradeschool even preschool. When I played house with girls. I had like freaking 10 wives here or something. Mostly I said as a kid, I am marrying you you and you. It's so silly when I was younger, and that I know it was a game, but it was much more serious in my head subconsciously. Growing up yeah, I don't like the idea of just loving one person and forced to put it on someone don't know if they deserve it or not and get nothing out of it even if the person is good to me. Like I never cheated, I don't like the thought of it. I avoid it at all costs, because I'd rather have a trusting relationships than just throwing it away for some cooch every now and then. It's so stupid, I have gotten with enough girls and relationships to realize what people think they want and what they truly want is all distorted. I know what I want and desire only just that. I knew it all my life, but I had to closet myself from everyone who says to me I just want a booty call and I'm the type of person that asks too much which isn't true at all. I hate it, I want to be honest to girls I am truly attracted to, but I have to be quiet bout it too, because I know they are more worried bout what others think <family, friends, coworkers etc.> bout them which I understand, but then don't. I get it that you don't want to look like a "slut" to people and really loose when you know you're not. I don't want that image myself and neither do I want my partners. I would cap it at 3 so there isn't a third wheel, just to be fair, but I am just as content with 2 as much as 3. I know when I was in a mono relationship. I always felt sick of myself knowing I'm trapped here. I didn't do anything wrong, but it's not fair to me even if the girl I dated is the hottest chick around to people. It's like people think of things that aren't important say they are for love, but more concerned with self image and insecurity. Like I don't get that, my generation is filled to nothing but insecure people. It drives me mad, I get insecure now, because I can't be open bout myself knowing my mistakes of being open not too casually bout it and being harshly criticized. It's like I really want this, but everyone tells me no no no you're not this you want that and so on. I am going to see my therapist today a new one after a long time not seeing anyone. I get it, I got get my **** together, but jeez I can't even do anything casual without people pulling out the knives and guns thinking people are going to kill them. It's such a waste of time.

I know I explained what I wanted. I am mature enough to understand and know, just other people don't. It bothers me a lot. I don't want to pick anyone at a swinger convention not knowing what couple I might run into. It's not how I do it. I like to know who I am with before I do anything. It's literally, a trust I take it very seriously with. It makes me mad sometimes I am looked as a man***** or anything. It's so silly and I don't want marriage to begin with. It's not needed for me. I know from what I'm exposed to on a daily basis anywhere definitely no. I don't mind sharing, I'd rather have the solid relationship being the binding of the "marriage" than the ceremony. That's literally the simplest explanation of the type of people I am around from all the cultures in my city, from the hoods to the conservative christian rich suburbs, to the redneck country urban redneck and anyone else that lived in my city. It's all the same here. That's why I have not been lucky at all. I avoid talking bout it especially to girls I like, because of their exposure and their beliefs I respect. It's like I respect them, but they aren't allowed to respect me like what did I do. Sorry it's been rough today physically, I'm feeling sick and groggy.

I have not read the last two messages, but I just want to say that openly polyamorous people tend to be older nationwide, based on what I have read, so it is not just your city's little quirk.

I know, that's what kills me at times.

Idk about there in the US, but over here many Muslim men have multiple wives, they get married under muslim law by the muslim judical council, and while only the first marriage is recognized by the state, its all legit and accepted and everything...

Just putting that out there, idk if you'd be interested in seeking out a religion that's pro polyamorous.

If not, well others have suggested finding like minded people who'd be interested in the type of relationship you seek, maybe an open marriage is an option...

Can you move to Boston/NYC/SF etc.? Except that yyourcity is much cheaper. ..

I thought that you were bi... maybe wrong because I just scanned, but if you are interested in having many wives without a legal registration, then, I am sure, Utah has such semi-open configurations. And Utah is cheap!

Aren't you though a little on the young side? Maybe wait and see, because you never know - somebody very special might happen in your life for whom you would want to forgo other options. ..

I have a muslim best friend, and I've got an inside view from saudi arabia and other neighboring countries bout that, it works, but how they do it is not for me. I don't want marriage, I just want the emotional relationship like a relationship with 2 other women ideally. I know how they work really well inside and out, I just want to stop feeling so anxious being pressured forced to settle down having the one wife scenario people keep telling me about. It makes me sick and I don't want it, but yeah I agree, but I can't do it like that. Some persian women are sexy though.

Hmm...I find Persian men sexy

Seriously, stop fretting so much about it. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. In the meantime, come up with a line to feed to everyone who pressures you to settle down with one wife and feed that line consistently without fail, and people will get bored and refocus their attention onto something more entertaining.

- oh yeah, I so plan to get married, right after I defend my PhD dissertation, climb mt Everest, sail around the globe, serve in the army, volunteer for the Peace Corps - immediately after. Of course I will invite you to my my wedding - how could you possibly doubt that? !

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