Should i be more assertive?

My partner likes to begin sex the same way each time. She's on top and she says that this allows her to stimulate herself with precision, so I guess it's reasonable that this is what we should do. She also likes me to touch her boobs, so I do that.

My problem is that there is not enough spontaneity and if I want to do something different or I just want to pounce on her she sort of guides me into our usual routine.

I understand that her pleasure is important, but I think our coupling should be about more than that, at times.

Thoughts, or similar experiences?

Are you able to talk to her about this, explain that her pleasure is very important to you but you would like to mix things up from time to time. I get that the ability for her to receive the stimulation that she wants is important but are there other ways to add spontaneity without sacrificing her proper stimulation?

It is difficult to be spontaneous because my wife takes an hour to warm up.

I am able to do it, but I just feel like my concerns would be petty. My partner is not a selfish lover.

It's not petty to ask for what you want.

I understand what you are going through. My wife and I have had physical problems over the past few years and my wife says that she has grown to not "Need" sex. She's told me that if we are to have sex, I need to romance her into it, get her in the mood. Between her needing to being worked into being aroused, and me needing to take a Viagra to keep it up (my penis and scrotum are numb), it is virtually impossible to match up our arousal patterns. She says going to a nice meal or spa together helps, and that having some wine also helps. But she says that she's good to go within 30 minutes of having wine. Problem is if we are in a restaurant having the wine, it takes more than 30 minutes to pay and get home, in which time I need at least 30 minutes for the "little blue pill" to take effect.

I've been told recently to "stop trying to have sex". It's been over 7 months since we last had sex, and I becoming less and less assertive myself since it doesn't get me anything other than disappointment.

To the OP man just tell her you want to do other positions and that you guys can finish in your standard position. As far as spud of the moment just slide up behind her and start kissing her neck and do some caressing maybe some lite tickling. Then take her into the bedroom and have fun heck you could do it on the dinning room table just make sure there is no one sitting there eating. Good luck.

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Take control! Get some candles and put them around the room. If she is in the room let her watch. Dont say anything when she asks what in the world you are doing. Bring out some lotion and command her to take her cloths off and get on her stomach. Rub her shoulders, back, butt...... Get her relaxed. (kissing her neck and back every so often might turn her on) Then go from there. Take control of the situation.

There are times I wish my husband would just grab me by the waist and put me under him when we are in bed. Im the one that has to take the first step. Drives me crazy. I hate it. I wish he would take control.