Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old May 19, 2014, 11:16 PM
Anonymous33211
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
My partner likes to begin sex the same way each time. She's on top and she says that this allows her to stimulate herself with precision, so I guess it's reasonable that this is what we should do. She also likes me to touch her boobs, so I do that.

My problem is that there is not enough spontaneity and if I want to do something different or I just want to pounce on her she sort of guides me into our usual routine.

I understand that her pleasure is important, but I think our coupling should be about more than that, at times.

Thoughts, or similar experiences?

advertisement
  #2  
Old May 21, 2014, 11:26 AM
Mike_J's Avatar
Mike_J Mike_J is offline
Infamous Vampire Duck
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Dec 2009
Location: Mid West
Posts: 12,742
Are you able to talk to her about this, explain that her pleasure is very important to you but you would like to mix things up from time to time. I get that the ability for her to receive the stimulation that she wants is important but are there other ways to add spontaneity without sacrificing her proper stimulation?
__________________
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #3  
Old May 22, 2014, 07:01 PM
CantExplain's Avatar
CantExplain CantExplain is offline
Big Poppa
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 19,616
It is difficult to be spontaneous because my wife takes an hour to warm up.
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc.

Add that to your tattoo, Baby!
  #4  
Old May 23, 2014, 12:32 AM
Anonymous33211
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike_J View Post
Are you able to talk to her about this, explain that her pleasure is very important to you but you would like to mix things up from time to time. I get that the ability for her to receive the stimulation that she wants is important but are there other ways to add spontaneity without sacrificing her proper stimulation?
I am able to do it, but I just feel like my concerns would be petty. My partner is not a selfish lover.
  #5  
Old May 23, 2014, 01:32 AM
CantExplain's Avatar
CantExplain CantExplain is offline
Big Poppa
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 19,616
Quote:
Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet View Post
I am able to do it, but I just feel like my concerns would be petty. My partner is not a selfish lover.
It's not petty to ask for what you want.
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc.

Add that to your tattoo, Baby!
  #6  
Old May 28, 2014, 07:03 AM
bixkf's Avatar
bixkf bixkf is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 250
Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
It is difficult to be spontaneous because my wife takes an hour to warm up.
I understand what you are going through. My wife and I have had physical problems over the past few years and my wife says that she has grown to not "Need" sex. She's told me that if we are to have sex, I need to romance her into it, get her in the mood. Between her needing to being worked into being aroused, and me needing to take a Viagra to keep it up (my penis and scrotum are numb), it is virtually impossible to match up our arousal patterns. She says going to a nice meal or spa together helps, and that having some wine also helps. But she says that she's good to go within 30 minutes of having wine. Problem is if we are in a restaurant having the wine, it takes more than 30 minutes to pay and get home, in which time I need at least 30 minutes for the "little blue pill" to take effect.

I've been told recently to "stop trying to have sex". It's been over 7 months since we last had sex, and I becoming less and less assertive myself since it doesn't get me anything other than disappointment.
Hugs from:
CantExplain
  #7  
Old Jul 22, 2014, 12:52 AM
otroo's Avatar
otroo otroo is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: Boise
Posts: 703
To the OP man just tell her you want to do other positions and that you guys can finish in your standard position. As far as spud of the moment just slide up behind her and start kissing her neck and do some caressing maybe some lite tickling. Then take her into the bedroom and have fun heck you could do it on the dinning room table just make sure there is no one sitting there eating. Good luck.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  #8  
Old Jul 22, 2014, 11:00 AM
buzz bee's Avatar
buzz bee buzz bee is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Between here and there
Posts: 573
Take control! Get some candles and put them around the room. If she is in the room let her watch. Dont say anything when she asks what in the world you are doing. Bring out some lotion and command her to take her cloths off and get on her stomach. Rub her shoulders, back, butt...... Get her relaxed. (kissing her neck and back every so often might turn her on) Then go from there. Take control of the situation.

There are times I wish my husband would just grab me by the waist and put me under him when we are in bed. Im the one that has to take the first step. Drives me crazy. I hate it. I wish he would take control.
__________________
I asked God to keep me safe from my enemies, now half my friends are gone.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Bipolar I
MDD
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Lamictal-100mg
Effexor-225mg
Trazodone-100mg
propranolol 80mg
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
Reply
Views: 1504

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:18 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.