[Theseus]

Probably the only reason I'm bringing this up is just for conversation or if anyone else has the same kind of feelings about a particular fetish.

I'm a gainer, an admirer and an encourager in the "fat community". There, I said it. I've been a weightlifter for over 20 years and always had a problem getting my weight down. I tried everything from keto to Weight Watchers to simple portion control to cardio to high intensity workouts to... you name it. I'm tired of dieting and trying to lose weight. I'm not a bodybuilder, I never will be, I don't want to be. I like to eat.

And all this time I've had an attraction to fat guys, whether muscle bears, non-muscle bears, regular fat guys. They're a complete turn on for me. Btw, "fat" is not a dirty word. We've reclaimed it. If you think of how the late Billy Mays looked (OK, so turn down the volume)... oh woof! Secretly I'd have given a kidney to look like him. There's a guy at work in my area who is short, barrel shaped, and hot-looking as hell because of it. Sort of the build I want.

I'm 5'5", currently 225 lbs, 17" biceps, 18" neck, 47-48" chest, though I take a 50S jacket now. I'm currently in 42 waist pants, which are getting snug. And here's the thing... I want to gain more. Not to the point of extreme obesity, immobility or poor health. Though many guys want that. No, my goal is ~250 lbs, 44-46 pants. I want to add more muscle too. I check my blood sugar at home. I'm not diabetic, but my late m-i-l was, so we've got glucose meters by the score. I get regular check ups and blood work by my doctor. So far so good.

I've already gained about 9 lbs in the past 3 weeks, and here's another thing... I'm proud of my bear belly. I don't suck it in, I don't hide it. I show it with pride. It's like being let out of a cage. Being bipolar I thought this might be a manic phase, but I've been feeling this way for far too long. I've simply decided to let go and be who I think I really am... a short, fat muscle bear. My new saying is "Rock the bear belly and rock it proudly".

OK, so that's all I wanted to say.

[Living Dead Guy]

Welcome to the world out side of the closet!

There is nothing wrong or abnormal about your fetish personally I'm a fan of BBW myself. I would caution against intentional weight gain however not because there is anything morally wrong with it but simply due to the health risks involved.

Best of luck.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by Theseus

If you think of how the late Billy Mays looked (OK, so turn down the volume)... oh woof!

I don't care who you are, this quote is AWESOME!



And Theseus, just stay safe and healthy and love yourself and others. Like Living Dead Guy said, there's nothing wrong with your interest.

[Theseus]

Originally Posted by Living Dead Guy

Welcome to the world out side of the closet!

There is nothing wrong or abnormal about your fetish personally I'm a fan of BBW myself. I would caution against intentional weight gain however not because there is anything morally wrong with it but simply due to the health risks involved.

Best of luck.

Thanks. I agree about it not being abnormal. I wanted to put this out there for anyone else who might be conflicted or wondering about it. I was conflicted about it and denying it. It was not unlike when I denied and suppressed being gay. All of a sudden the dam burst.

There is definitely a health risk, hence monitoring it closely. One thing I can tell you is that I have to get my fat butt (that's not a figure of speech ) back on the treadmill for increasing stamina. I find myself getting winded for two reasons: the extra weight and I'm just plain out of shape for cardio. Strength is no problem. I have not been able to run in years due to lumbar surgery. I walk on the treadmill and/or outdoors but I've neglected that. I'll do just enough to maintain stamina, not get winded, and for c/v health

Originally Posted by Webgoji

I don't care who you are, this quote is AWESOME!



And Theseus, just stay safe and healthy and love yourself and others. Like Living Dead Guy said, there's nothing wrong with your interest.

Thanks.

Yes, Billy is gone but not forgotten.

[Theseus]

So, I thought I found my real self by giving in to this fetish, but instead I lost myself. Yes, it's been something on my mind for a long time as I said in my o.p. In giving in to it I don't know what the hell I was thinking. Except that as I suspected, or denied, it was a manic phase. I didn't think a manic phase would last so long, but apparently I was wrong there too.

I've got to take this weight off. I am uncomfortable, and I do not like the way I look. This is not me. It may be OK for other guys, and I do think husky chunky bearish guys are hot, but this is not me. The problem is that I've said these words before, to myself and to my therapist. This is going to sound crazy (no pun intended), but I do have a genetic anomaly that makes it difficult for me to learn from my mistakes. I had a personal DNA test done to find out my genetic and ancestral migratory history... fascinating results. In one of the reports I found a particular gene sequence listed (edited down):

rs1800497(T;T) A1/A1: Bad at avoidance of errors. ... Increased obesity; less pleasure response; Bupropion ineffective; ... Men have 0.25x reduced risk of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder but higher risk of ADHD. ... Reduced response to errors and increased addictive behavior ...

OK, so I blame my genes. Seriously, due to this I have to try even harder. This ties in with my all-or-nothing mentality. Either I let myself go and become really fat or I try to get a ripped body, neither of which works for me. So whatever happened to the Middle Path the Buddha spoke of. No, I'll never be ripped; ironically I don't want to be. But I don't have to let myself become uncomfortable and in my eyes, unattractive.

Today starts clean up of the diet... not crash or fad, just sensible, and getting more serious about my workouts. Thanks for listening.

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

I think it's great to give in your fetish and it's ok to be proud of it. I am into BDSM and learning to embrace that it is part of who I am was very liberating.

I also think it's good you've decided to take a healthy path with your weight. I have body dysmorphic disorder and can sympaize with the all or nothing feelings. Im always trying to perfect myself and never feel I am obtaining my goals. It's a hard place to be in, good luck to you with your fitness and health endeavors.

[Theseus]

Originally Posted by Anxiousvalkyrie

I have body dysmorphic disorder and can sympaize with the all or nothing feelings. Im always trying to perfect myself and never feel I am obtaining my goals.

I wonder if that's a condition I have. I've never been happy with how I look. I've always compared myself to others.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by Theseus

I wonder if that's a condition I have. I've never been happy with how I look. I've always compared myself to others.

Hang in there Theseus. I think something to remember when it comes to viewing how we look is not to look at ourselves and compare. But rather to see how others react. If you find that people are attracted to you and compliment you, then the data indicates that your view on how you look is incorrect ... which I'm betting it is.

Personally I've always used this method to gauge how I look in that suit, how this haircut looks (when I had hair ) and how I looked in general. I could always find flaws, that's easy. The trick was how people reacted to me. Did the girls find me attractive and handsome? Did guys want to emulate my build or style? Those are the indicators, not comparing myself to Hugh Jackman (i.e. apples to oranges).

[Theseus]

Yes Webgoji I think you're right. I tend to put myself down. My husband will say "hey handsome", and I tell him to stop saying that because I don't think I'm handsome. Yet I can see another guy whom I do resemble and think "hot damn, he's hot!". No pleasing some people.

There is a site I joined for the gainer community. It is 99.9% gay men. I got a lot of compliments and hit-ons, but of course being married I make it clear I am married. I do get compliments in real life. The funny thing is that they're from women who probably don't realize I'm gay. That's actually flattering.

I spent too much time at bodybuilding.com where there are a lot of roided-up doosh-bags. There are a lot of great guys there too, but I spent too much time and energy comparing myself to them. I'll never be Hugh Jackman, or Chris Hemsworth and I accept that. This little foray into all-dietary-bets-are-off was an overcompensation.

[Axiom]

This fetish crept up on me about 1 month ago. Before that I had never been attracted to chubby bears. I'm 24 and a little surprised to discover this part of my sexuality so late since it's a very long time since I used to be ashamed of my desires. My main body type fetish is roided muscle men though... And it kind of sucks, since there are so few of them, and I doubt I'd actually enjoy being with one. But I might just be ignorant, after all I don't know any bodybuilders. It's safe for me to say though that I would much rather have the chubby fetish be my main body type fetish. Too bad it's so situational.

I look at it this way: The easier it is to find someone you love looking at and being with, the better. And I am glad that I like so many different body types, personalities and sexual acts.