Is masturbation OK?

Not according to Sister Mary Catherine. I spent my early years in catholic school. The sisters were quite clear on who would go to heaven and who would spend eternity in damnation and hell. You miss mass, you go to hell. You don’t go to confession, you go to hell. You don’t go to catholic school, you’re a heathen and you go to hell. You masturbate, you go to hell.

When in high school, I would masturbate to the lingerie section in the Sears catalog, over and over again. I wish I had Victoria’s Secret in those days. But I always hoped and prayed for a woman to fill the void.

It took 2 marriages but I finally found my “perfect” mate. The only problem is I like sex more than her. She said it’s OK for me to masturbate to bridge the gap, but I’ve still got to many hang-ups to really enjoy it.

Hot and cold. Hot and cold. The bad news is every time I masturbate I feel a great sexual relief and it feels really good, but at the same time, I feel really guilty for committing sin. Sister Mary Catherine brainwashed me. To this day I still feel like I have to hide when I masturbate and I’m going to go to hell.

I'm sorry that a nun has corrupted your mind with feelings of guilt when you masturbate. Sex is a basic human need, and masturbating to fulfill it is perfectly natural. Most everybody does it.

I can understand your upbringing as it's similar to mine, in which I was forced to repress my sexuality for fear of being wrong. Maybe not exactly what you went through, but we both dealt with the same religious institution. Now, here I would say many a negative thing about that religion and it's views on sexuality, but I think religious discussion is frowned upon, at least outside of user groups specified for such, in this forum.

Either way, I hope you can find peace and break free from your feelings of guilt. Masturbation is perfectly okay and natural, like I said, as long as it doesn't become an obsession that affects other aspects of your life.

If you'd like further help than I can offer, maybe consult a counselor or therapist who can listen and offer ways to circumvent these guilty feelings you've been brainwashed into feeling. Just know you've been heard and that I can understand what you've been through.

EDIT: I decided to post this image of Maslow's Needs Hierarchy to show that sex is a basic need, under which masturbation falls. It's right there next to breathing and water.

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[UPDATED: 4/30/2017]

LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!!

It has been observed that babies masturbate. They have no concept of sin.

I hope I'm not going to get blasted for this, but I would bet a great deal that Sister Mary Catherine, at some point in her life, masturbated.

I am very sorry for your guilt. Would therapy help? I know that it takes a lot of long talks with yourself to overcome what we are taught as children. It is possible to do, though.

I am non denominational, but 2 of my closest friends are Catholic. They are right here with me and they said they had never even heard of any of those "rules" before. It is human nature to have sexual urges like this and it is very hard to resist at times. In the past 50 years the world has become way over sexualized though. And if it is a constant thing it may be a health issue like hormone irregularities (happened to my ex's older brother) so you might want to consult a doctor if that's so. Don't feel guilty for anything at all, it sounds completely normal

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I'm already in therapy. It is helping a little, but not enough. It helps to talk about it. Thanks for your kind words.

If you do it right It should be better than okay. Just an opinion, a personal opinion.

12 yrs of catholic school & indoctrination. I know the nun you speak of. She was at my school too!
My parents were even worse!

Took me forever to change my thinking regarding masturbating, but I can honestly say that you can change it. You have to try!

I'm not going into my own reasons, you'll have your own, but a sexual urge is a powerful release of energy that's very fulfilling. It does your whole being a world of good!

I say beat it like it owes you money!

I think masturbating - and sex itself - is dirty, but as long as you wash your hands afterwards, I don't see how anybody should mind.

touche! thx!!

Another user on here posted a quote as said by the UK council on physical health. "An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away." So yeah, nothing wrong with a little self lovin'. I hope you come to terms with accepting that you are a human being with needs that need fulfilled in one way or another. I really do. Good luck!

EDIT: Oh wait. That user was you. Lols!! How funny!!

MY BLOG IS NOW CONVENIENTLY LOCATED HERE!!
[UPDATED: 4/30/2017]

LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!!

Wow darling, it sounds like growing up Catholic was hell! I am very happy for you about finding the perfect mate! Congrats! Don't worry if you have mismatched libidos...I've got that in my relationship, and I have to take care of business myself. A little guilt always comes with the experience, for whatever reason, but it seems a natural response to me. I'm sorry you have hang ups about masturbating, I don't know if I have ever gotten over my own...BUT IT MUST BE DONE! LOL I believe honstely masturbating is a natural human function, and you are no heathen or demon for using your member as directed. I bet the Sisters never spoke about how Monks often masturbate...or the Sisters themselves. Anywho, I say PERSIST in finding a way to relax and enjoy yourself. Best wishes!

God gave us hands and genitals and they feel good when touched. Yes, masturbation is OK! If you have a higher sex drive than your spouse, and still feel horny, then masturbation is a great way to satisfy yourself. Certainly better than doing risky behavior with others outside the marriage.

Wow, I'm so sorry for you mf1438. I can relate; I was also raised in a strict religious household and was told that masturbation was an abhorrent "sin." But I refused to accept that at all, because it was a source of pleasure and happiness for me in a time when everything else was pain and cruelty. And it hurt NOBODY. I had tremendous guilt about it growing up, even though I did it several times a week. I felt so "unworthy" or "unclean" when I went to church. Yet I kept doing it and lied through my teeth whenever I was asked -- and I WAS asked, in really uncomfortable "worthiness" interviews with so-called religious "authorities."

But in my 20's I actually started to question all those crazy beliefs that I was indoctrinated with. And after a lot of serious study and contemplation, I finally decided that it was all BS. And you know what? Almost immediately I felt COMFORTABLE with my body, my sexuality and my masturbation habits. It was such a wonderful feeling! Maybe it was just because I never really internalized the religious BS in the first place... But letting it all go was SO FREEING!

I don't know if you're still chained to your old religion, or if it just haunts you. But I really hope you can come to terms with the abuse in your past. And make no mistake: RELIGIOUS INDOCTRINATION IS CHILD ABUSE! Especially when you tell a child that they'll go to hell and suffer forever if they do this, this and this. I just really wish more people would open their eyes and accept it, instead of defending their idiotic beliefs to the bitter end.

**** religion. Be comfortable with yourself!

I do take offense to those who say "that Sister probably masturbated herself" or "everyone masturbates". I've never masturbated (or had sex). I think it's disgusting - it's just not for me. It's everyone's own business - again, as long as they wash their hands afterwards (and, preferably, don't talk about it too often where I can hear but I understand that's a bit too much to ask). But saying everyone does it, or that that person probably did it also.. that doesn't HAVE to be the case.

I think religion tells us not to masturbate because they want us to make more babies to multiply people of that religion in numbers. "Be fruitful and multiply". Thus, masturbation is wasting seed.

I am so thankful nobody ever told me not to do it and played such head games with me.

Actually I believe that, at least with the more fundamentalist religions like the one I grew up in, it's a matter of control. Control something so personal as a person's sexuality, and you can control everything else about that person. They want you to stay in line, to keep attending church, paying your tithes, volunteering your time or whatever else. In my experience religious "authorities" are all experts at manipulation on a very personal level; they use shame and guilt to steer you into obedience. And it's WRONG on so many levels.

I think with this statement you've hit the nail on the head as far as the essence of all fundamentalisms of whatever stripe. I know it was true in my own experience. I'm just glad I finally broke free from their control, some 15 years ago.

I don't recall the bible saying anything about masteration being a sin. I do recall the story of wasting seeds. But it didn't say u will spend an eternity in hell.

Masterbation does have a purpose. It is very useful in teaching a young man how to last longer, be faster, and how to recognize when he is ready to cum. That is necessary in order to avoid pregnancy. So it really is something that was created for a purpose.

God could have jsut let us have sex to procreate, but instead he gave us feeling and sensations in those areas so we can enjoy it. God made it so we could enjoy life. We enjoy good food, it taste good. We enjoy a sunset or a rainbow, God gave us eyes for that. We can smell the flowers, or the rain. We can feel a soft pillow or a kitten. We can hear the birds or a baby's first cries. And we can feel happiness or sadness.

We have been blessed with an sense, the sense of pleasure sexually. That has nothing to do with the other 5 senses which are made to keep us safe. Smell smoke, feel pain, see a car coming, hear thunder, food that has gone bad. This sense is for our own enjoyment. The sense that sexuality provides is for us to enjoy and share, and to bond us closer to one another. It can be something we find pleasure in alone, like reading a good book alone, or working in the garden alone, having sex alone is no different.

I have been told to think of it this way biologically. For women it is a little different, but for men sexual "fluids" build and build and they must be released. They either are released threw sex or thew masterbation. It is a biological need, not necessarily a sexual need. There are times when it can be a sexual need, but it is definitely a biological need. Like a soda pop bottle being filled to the max, it is going to overflow, and it has a lid put on it and it is not allowed to overflow and escape then it will not be good.

I sound similar to your wife. I really don't care that much for sex, my H and I have sex but not to the extent he would like. He takes care of his own needs when I would rather not take care of them for him. I have nothing wrong with that. It doesn't need to involve me for him to have release. It can, but it doesn't have to.