What do you think about when you masturbate?

Sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong place. I'm 63 years old and I'm still trying to stay sexually alive.

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I like sex more than my wife and I’m tired of keeping all of my sexual energy bottled up until she’s ready to make love. She said it’s OK for me to masturbate to bridge the gap, but I’ve still got too many hang-ups to really enjoy it.

When in high school, I would masturbate to the lingerie section in the Sears catalog, over and over again. I wish I had Victoria’s Secret in those days.

What do you use to get aroused? What do you think about when you masturbate? Is it OK to think about a person you would like to screw?

Your profile states that you are a survivor of sexual abuse. I am sure that plays into your need. Have u talked to a therapist about this? It might have much more meaning than what you think. How come you're not on the BPD forum. We need more older members like us.

My wife. We've been married 15 years and she still really turns me on like crazy.

Awesome! You're an inspiration to us all!

Korean reunification... you can see me come from space.

Honestly? I watch porn rather than think about anything. It helps me to have a video in front of me to stimulate me into feeling that...erm...sexual arousal state. I'm sure a lot of other people on here do the same thing, so the real question boils down to, what porn is the preference when masturbating? Maybe it's not for you, but it sure works for me. That and using my vibe.

Hysterical!

It's okay to have fantasies darling! It's okay to use your imagination! I would say acting on fantasies in real life is an ENTIRELY different ball game. Are you saying your wife no longer excites you sexually? Have you ever found out what her fantasies are? Can you ask?

For me it depends. Most of the time it's internet porn, sure; I like the really romantic, passionate variety, especially where the woman actually looks like she's being pleasured and enjoying herself -- though I'm well-aware that most of it is still acting! I imagine giving a woman that kind of pleasure myself and nothing arouses me more.

I have a pretty good imagination and like to spin elaborate fantasies and stories that often include sexual components as I lay awake in bed at night (I'm a bad insomniac). Sometimes I even write them out, though I'd definitely never let anyone else read them! I've also masturbated after particularly hot sex dreams before, because I sleep on my stomach and arousal usually wakes me up before I finish.

So I think it depends entirely on your preferences! I certainly believe it's okay to think about anyone you like -- there's a HUGE difference between thought and action. May I ask what kind of hang-ups you're struggling with? I'm actually really impressed; I hope that I'm still fully sexually active if I live to be 63! I honestly can't imagine my life any other way.

May I ask what kind of hang-ups you're struggling with?
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2 hang-ups come to mind immediately.

1. When I was around the age of 6 or 7, I went to Catholic school. The nuns told us that we would go to hell if we masturbated. Believe it or not, in the early 50's, that's what the Catholic church taught.
2. Any thoughts about sex with anyone else other than your wife is cheating.

I'm going to counseling to deal with my hangups so I can get rid of the guilt feelings that come behind an orgasm.

Men have told me they are visual, so they like to look at images. You can upgrade those Sears catalogs to sexy magazines. Whatever turns you on.

Ahhh of course! I didn't realize you were the author of that other thread about masturbation as a sin. I can certainly relate there -- I was told pretty much the same thing, by a fundamentalist Christian religion in the 90's, though I never believed or internalized it. I did feel the guilt and shame, though, so strongly -- until I decided what I believed for myself.

And I do understand how some people could view fantasizing about others as disrespectful to one's partner... But I don't personally agree, especially if your partner is the one telling you to use masturbation to fill a gap! Have you talked about your concerns with your wife? Have you discussed the possibility of porn usage or something else to arouse you? I'm a big proponent of total honesty in a relationship, I guess.

I really hope that your counseling helps! Take care, good sir.

I don't want to get into intimate sexual discussion about myself and don't see how it's therapeutic to you. It's more important for you to know what your wife thinks about. You need to have open discussion with her and try to find something that work for you both.

Intimate sexual discussion? Sorry for asking. How it's therapeutic? Well I've got to have the discussion with somebody. I can't keep suppressing my emotions. It's not healthy. I'm going to counseling and I'm trying to have the discussions there, but counseling is expensive and time consuming, so I try to reach out to people here for help. I've gotten a lot of good advice from this forum and I'm thankful.

My wife, does not like talking about sex, bless her soul. She also doesn't like talking about my psychological hang ups. You see, she has hang ups too. Having an open discussion with someone who doesn't want to have an open discussion is like knocking your head up against the wall with the idea that one day it will give way. I'm getting help where I can and engaging my wife as much as I can.

Thanks for the open discussion and I apologize if I offended you in anyway.

I'm not offended and am happy to try to help. I feel for you because your wife is your partner, and if she won't talk about sex and isn't interested in it, no wonder you are reaching out for something else.

If other posts earlier, you said you were a sex addict. I think you just have a frustrating marriage. I hope she'll find some compromise with you.

Things that are far too sick or embarrassing to mention here. Even masturbating isn't gratifying any more.

I used to masturbate to porn on tv. Now that I hardly ever watch tv anymore it's strictly online porn pictures and videos.

Mainly gay sex because I'm gay and my wife is straight, so I need to address my homosexual desires in some way.

Wife not enough use her her pictures lingerie etc ask her pictures to bridge da gap.

I like to watch a deepthroat/gagging porn video before I masturbate, and then I fantasize about two men I fantasize about getting raped.

Damn, I'm too young to be thinking about that!

Being a middle aged man who is far hornier than my wife, I always find myself fantasizing about younger women. The very common early 20s angel-in-the-light, slut-in-the-night virgin who wants me to teach her everything sexually, then clean my house and make me a gourmet dinner after. Haha.

And then of course, I put the 20 year old version of my wife in the fantasy as a threesome. That staves off any guilt. Thanks goodness for fantasies!

Not telling lol

My T ._.