Sexuality is a delicate and precious subject and must be treated as such

How I feel about sexuality and relationships I think some people don't realize or don't treat sex as a very delicate subject some just treat it oh I like it I will get it and I think I am different to some of those people I don't see the point of having sex just for the sake of it. I used to do it I think a lot of us have but growing wize and older in emotional maturity. I see sex and sexuality as a delicate and precious subject it must be talked about in a precious and respectful manor, not just throwing it apon everyone you met because that shows a lack of emotional maturity in the subject. So when I think of sleazy men or boys I think they just lack the emotional maturity to realise that sex is a precious and delicate subject must always be treated with respect and not just thrown upon every woman. If your doing that your not understanding that sex can be also a very emotional and transforming act both for ourselves and others. When I think of a man I want a man that understands that sex is something that is beautiful and precious when it is done respecting the others boundaries and feelings towards it. I am different to these men in the sense that I think sex is a precious emotional experience not just a physical one and I never want those type of men to take away my experience of sex and my sexuality.

So you should meet people who see sex the same way !

I think it would help a lot if you were to meet men in real life rather than on the Internet. The first step would be getting a job or volunteer position that would get you out of the house.

Luckily I don't talk to random men on the internet this is just an epiphany of what I think about sexuality and relationships. I just think that people are too obsessed with finding someone to sleep with the figuring out what they want in life and what type of relationship would be good for them.

I feel that sex is the most intimate thing you can share with another human. I am 50 and single, and haven't had sex in a long time due to divorce, but I won't allow myself to let any man use me (for sex). It shocks me to see how this generation views sex/sexuality, etc.....women having babies as teens, and/or not married.........I could go on. With guys (all ages); it is like you meet them and the first thing they talk about is sex. NO class; what happened to flirting and being courted. Crass society.

What we choose to call sex is really one part of a much bigger spectrum. Passion, lust, romance, flirting, courting, caring, attraction, "chemistry", all have their own colors somewhere on that imagined rainbow. It's more subtle and nuanced than we usually think.

Roses, it is very gratifying to see you think things through on the level you have been, and come to your own conclusions, realizing what your boundaries are, owning this whole aspect of your life for yourself.

my views on sexuality are a bit different. in my culture the act of sex is just something that every living species on earth does to ensure the survival of their species. where as intimacy is the relationship/ heart and mind feelings a person has for another. the shared happiness and quality time you have with someone...

example dogs have sex when the female is in heat \ready to continue on her line in the continuation of her species, as do cats, kangaroos and any other species on earth there are even some plants that procreate and insure the survival of their species by the female plant shooting out spores and the male of the species fertilizes the spores, same with water species.

where as two people men or women can form friendships, a feeling of caring for each other, develop sexual and non sexual ways to be happy with each other.

in my native american culture intimacy (caring, love, happiness) is not necessary for someone to have sex. all that is needed is the hormones, and reproductive organs.

that said I do have to say that I prefer intimacy over sex at times as does my wife. some times one or the other does not want to have intercourse but we still want to spend time together and show our feelings for each other in other ways. sex (the physical act of intercourse that ensures survival of the species) has also come in handy when my wife and I were planning our children and during those times when we do feel like having intercourse.

I agree - I've only had sex once and it wasn't planned and I was very uncomfortable and not feeling it. We all have wants and needs and communication is a big thing there - it's when you're most vulnerable and finding someone you really trust and care for on many levels is a big thing. That's how I'm taking it all now. I'm certainly not in any rush. If it takes me years, that's fine. I want it to be something I share with someone special, as cliche as that may sound. I'm very shy and private about intimacy. I don't see any point with casual, meaningless sex though if that works for someone then that's great.

Black-roses
The title of your thread, to me, is biased.
It sounds like you're having an existential sexual crisis or realization? I'm not sure which, Bec a couple of months ago you posted about being a cam model & conversations that ensued from this.
Does this play into it? I'm kind of lost as to where this thread is going.
You OP uses a lot of "must & never" words. This is your opinion correct? Because not everyone sees sex or sexuality in general, as "delicate & precious."

As amandalouise stated, the function of sex is for procreation. People view sex very differently & "use" sex very differently.

If you're stating that the act of sex you desire should be valued & respected....I understand that completely.
But IMHO not everyone views it the same way.
Just a thought.

Well I also see it as a means to procreate and it can have an animalistic cold desire to it. I have expected all of that but I have never experienced sex in a passionate, respectful, and delicate manner and I guess I am dying to know what that is and the difference. People bring up the camgirl stuff like it has anything to do with how I view sex. It was just a stage in my life that I wanted to know where my talents were I thought I had nothing to give so I did that. However at the end of the day, I couldn't care less about camgirls and I think it's all meaningless rubbish that none of us need but I guess I had to try it out to make sure that was how I felt about it.

That meaningless rubbish that no one needs is a top gross money market that many do need.

If the desire to explore that industry was present, then there was a reason for it. Only you know that answer & maybe now it has led you forward to this next issue of how you perceive sex, What you want from sex & how to get there. It makes sense in this growth pattern I see from previous posts.

If passion & respect is what you desire from sex then you need to demand it from your partner. Communication is key. To me, that's plain & simple. Use your voice to get what you want & not give up what you want just to satisfy your partner. Like everything, this takes time.

But the animalistic "cold" desire, is another avenue for others that view sex as Primal. Which is probably another thread.....

Anyway, it sounds like now you know what you want. So where did these ideas come from? What you were taught? Others? School? Books? Etc. because sometimes what we expect that is preconceived, might change as we grow & mature sexually.

I think it's a great start to know what you're looking for

Well first of all desperation from my financial situation was the leading force in choosing to be a camgirl I mean I was getting easy money from perverts (or so I thought) I can't remember a day in doing it that I didn't think of putting a rope around my neck but I felt victimized by my situation felt sorry for myself and thought it was the only way I could afford to move out.

I can totally understand the reason for financial freedom. I'm certainly not knocking that or that choice. If it has given you what you want then so be it. Throughout history women have used their bodies to their best advantage.

I also believe that not just perverts use caming like you said. I'm trying to keep in mind the many other people out there that will view this thread.

So my next question was about the title of the thread & how you can explore this.
You stated that sexuality must be delicate & precious. So I'm nudging you to think of how you came to this conclusion to feel so strongly about it. I think if you knew these answers it would make it easier for you to find what your looking for.
Knowing that there are others out there that might view all this differently. The next step is how do you get these components in your partner.

I just want to feel like I am not being used for sex and etc. I have always felt like anything sexual was being taken advantage of and I for a change want to feel a different way about sex. That is why I feel so strongly about it

Also somewhere around my thought process I thought if I exposed myself to men and sex in a safe environment that I might become more comfortable and secure within the subject. Like if I was exposed to it long enough it would no longer be a subject that I am afraid of.

If you feel like you're being used for sex I'm guessing this comes from past experiences. Not good!
So if the feeling you're getting from a partner is "I'm going to be taken advantage of..." then you probably are.
I think your perception of the feelings associated with sex is what needs to change. And I think you've started that.

Please remember that sex starts between your ears, not your legs! A woman should feel in control & just as powerful as a man in a sexual exchange. Confidence is key & ive noticed with men, that when they see this confidence exuding from a woman it's powerful & respected. Not all men are like this tho. Just my opinion. But you should feel safe & strong in who you are!
This takes practice like everything else.

Now the caming sounds like it backfired although you had the right intentions, besides finances. Maybe you were thinking along the lines of a type of exposure therapy? Like if I go to the top of this cliff everyday...ill get used to it. ??
Except you were hoping this would work about how you feel about sex. Using the exposure to feel comfortable.
Problem was your variable, your "customer" kept changing so in the long run it might have caused more damage to your perception of sex.

I think I will always feel like someone is using me for sex so I am over with trying screw everything I just don't want to have anything to do with love and men if this how I will always feel

I think I will kill the subject off and just live my life life is to short to feel like ****.

Black-roses,
I hear frustration in your post & im sorry if that's the case. I hope I'm not causing that by adding to your thread.
I think you've come a long way with your feelings & exploring what you want & I think you should continue this search.

But your search will involve work & changes. Nothing easy or short lived. It'll take time...& all you have is time!! So relax & set some short & long term goals.

And yeah maybe having anything to do with love & men is not a good idea right now. Take a break, figure some stuff out & then move on.
I think you're on the right path....

Sexuality is nothing to me after my childhood. It's just useless. Overused. I feel no connection.

I feel that way to Svanthor just meaningless no emotional connection cold and worthless. I am also very frustrated because it seems to be the only thing men care about!