How to get over it

My woman who ive been with has given oral to two other guys when she was 18 amd again 22 years of age i been with her since she was 24 she now 31.Three months ago her given oral is bothering the crap out of me.She was in a realtionship with both and never felt loved until she met me.The previous realtionship never bought her anything to show there love for her.I gave her alot of genuine love which they didnt how did she give them oral sex and they didnt buy her Anything not for xmas or even bday gift.How do i get over she gave oral already.I even told her recently she coudlnt give me oral anymore.And its affecting our relationship cuz she can tell its bothering me.Another question she didnt have a father at all is it a sign of daddy issues and searching for love cuz she didnt recive love from her father.#HBO

Hello Julio22: I'm sorry I cannot really address your concerns except to say that what happened before the two of you got together is history... not anything that is relevant to the relationship the two of you have now. So my recommendation is to simply let it go. But if you cannot, then see if you can find a counselor or mental health therapist with whom you can explore, over time, how you feel about what your lady did before the two of you were together. The important thing here, from my perspective, is not to allow this to roll around in your thoughts over-&-over. Continuing to ruminate over it is just going to make the whole situation seem worse.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

To answer your question. "Is it daddy issues?" NO it's NOT!

She was 18 and 22 in different relationships trying out different things and following the course of relationships as many couples would do.

It sounds to me like you are withholding her from giving you oral sex just to make a point. I don't believe withholding things in the bedroom in order to put your foot down serves anyone well.

I can't really comment on why they didn't give her bday/ christmas presents as there could have been a number of reasons, including working or still at school at that age with no money. Think of it this way - it's great they weren't buying her gifts to have sex with her or get oral sex in return!

If you don't get over your issue with the fact that she had past relationships prior to meeting you it's going to damage and eat away at your current relationship.

It kinda is eatting ate a little bit oneday at a time but its bothering me for four months on and off.Why i dont kno.**** is royalty it makes me think if these didnt show real love will she suck anyones **** she been in a realtionship four years between the two guys and can count on onehand how many hugs and kisses she received from them..i spent my whole 1800 dollar chexk on her bday alone these had jobs amd zrill didnt get her anything...When i was 18 the girl really like imissed hugged her and bought her things.Was she that guibble?

Why do if feel pain in my chest when i think about her doing that in the past.

I need this woman and i wana get over it.

She cares about you and you obviously care about her deeply. Focus on that.

If 80% of relationships are based on past sexual experiences or the fact that partners have had sex / been intimate with someone else, they'd all fail.

You need counselling.

I think you answered your own question. You need her and I assume
you love her. She had a life before she met you just like you had one
before you met her. The point is you love each other now so nothing
else should matter. Be her man be good to her and show her love and I am
sure you will receive love back. Never mind what happened in the past.

Y y think i need counselling tho curious

Just because she has said she didn't feel loved doesn't mean she wasn't. Everyone has a love language and maybe theirs was different to her, thus she didn't feel like she was being loved and left. I'm assuming you didn't know her before you two started dating so you really have no right to even be upset. Her giving guys she had dated for two years oral doesn't mean she's loose and doing it to anyone. I think you need to figure out what your problems are before passing judgment on her. You're going to end up losing her by continuing down this path of jealousy. The past is the past and you really can't get upset about her previous relationships.

She mention to me that she didnt what love was until she met me i genulnely loved this woman she told that no guy has ever shown this much love affection i kissed her 50 times in oneday...she been in two relationships she told me she can count on one hand how many kisses. And hugs she recieved from both relationships and only got five hugs in four years of relationships.I gave her the world. No gifts for your bday from these guys or xmas...sound like she didnt no what love is i really didnt question her about her past until recently.I want my free to this only if yall new.

You keep mentioning gifts...gifts don't prove ones love for another person,sure they're nice gestures but not much more.They don't seal the deal or anything.

This is your issue,not hers at all.What she did before she got with you is really none of your business.

If you can't let it go,you should seek out professional help if you plan on staying together because it definitely will not work if you are going to hold it against her.

Were you in any sexual relationships before you met her?

I gave her my last numerous of times its not about the gifts love is action i cook for six months str8 while she was pregnant abd another 7 months fir her with our second child.Why do u think i need counsleing.i have only been in one realtionship that was 18...After 18 jus sex no real love until i met her. One guy got her car took and didnt give her anything i gave her my last 1000 dollars to get her a car tobget around in.the actions of love i have a list

I think you need counseling because you are making such a bid deal out of things she did before you two were even together.

Am I misunderstanding something?I don't get any of this at all,what is the point you are trying to make?Why is it ok that you were in a sexual relationship before,but you have a hard time accepting that she did too?Should she hold that against you?

I also don't understand why you keep talking about all the things you have given her and done for her,what do you mean by it?And why do you keep saying what the other guys didn't do?Are you saying they didn't deserve oral from her and you do?Do you think badly of her because she did that with guys she didn't love?

I just don't get the point you are trying to make.What is the big deal that she gave oral before she met you?

Are you just upset that you weren't her first?

Between two relationships she can only count on one hand how many hugs and kisses she received from both.where is the love?But i gave my heart to her.never cheated they cheated in her on top of that no valentimes xmas bday bears chocolates .Jus food she mention.

And so....what does all of that mean?

What does it prove,or what are you trying to prove?

I still don't get your point.

I feel like i earned that not that i ever tried it was out of pure love for her.She didn think one time that she was being used for sex and that there was no real love there i told my mom i jus wanna this woman happy for the rest of her life and i didn no that well yet.I see why God said wait to marriage cuz this kind of **** happens.

At times i dont even wana kiss her lips or look at them crazy i no.

Maybe the guys she was with before loved her just as you do,you are not positive they didn't,you are just guessing and comparing them to yourself.And maybe she really loved them in return but doesn't want to upset you by telling you.And it's ok if she did though,she's with you now,that's all that matters.

So what if she sucked **** before she met you.Either accept it,let it go or don't be with her.It's not like she can unsuck them,what do you expect her to do about it now?

How do you even know what she did anyway?

What about it exactly bothers you so much?Maybe you need to end this relationship if it bothers you so much.

Im slowly fetting over that phase tho

I get all my info from her.

Counseling would help you.

Even if you get over this there will most likely be many more problems in your relationship,maybe a therapist can help you prevent them.

I cant get it thru my head i remebrr onetime i seen oral sex in the movie my stomach started to hurt and i felt sick no lie.

Thats the only thing that bothers me in tje relationship

Yes,a therapist is definitely what you need.

Maybe what you are having a hard time with is oral in general,maybe it's not about her and what she did at all,maybe you yourself have some issues you need to work on,especially if seeing it in a movie made you sick.