[elle_jane]

OK so I feel a bit strange writing this, but here go's...

In the bed room I feel like I almost have multiple personality's. Sometimes I love to be man handled, talking dirty and rough to the point I like being softly strangled.

But then other times I am disgusted by my own behavior, and shy to even be seen naked.

And then there are times when I just want it to be soft and passionate.

This can change daily from one extreme to the other.

With my first boy friend I could ask for anything and not be shy, with my last boy friend I could only tell him what to do if I was feeling domineering and rough. With new partners I feel like I'm in my shell and just let them take over.

I don't know how to feel about all this.

I'm scared of what people will think of me. I don't see myself as a slut but sometimes I just want to have sex for hours and hours, and fantasize about women, threesomes, my mind just goes wild. But then other times I'm just so tame.

I don't want to scare men off, and I'm afraid I will when they see the real me. It would have to be hard not knowing what to expect. I'm also afraid if I do just let go I'll do something I may regret and beat myself up over later.

I'm sorry this probably doesn't make sense, I'm just so confused. Does anyone else feel like this, or am I as strange as I suspect?

[Rhapsody]

Hello & Welcome.......

I personally do not view what you are talking about strange or weird, but rather that of a person that likes sex in many different way - kind of fantasy in living color.

Please do not be so hard on your self........ Sex is Good.

P.S.

May I ask? Was there any sexual abuse in your past (as a child) - if Yes, you may also be acting out as a need to try and understand / deal with the WHY's you still have inside.

[elle_jane]

Thanx,

I feel a but better now.

As far as abuse, not as a child. I have been as a young teen though. I'll write more today, just dont have much time right now.

[youOme]

Elle...it seems your a highly sexual and passionate lover that likes to switch experiences up. I wouldn't consider this bad or dirty personally. Shoo...maybe if people did this more often their sex lives would be more interesting. The only thing I notice is what you may do with one person your afraid to mention with another. I think in all circumstances a woman should tell a man what she wants, how she wants it, and when. Men can't do all the guess work on their own...there's only so much they can figure out. Especially if you like it switched up occasionally.

[coralproper]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
youOme said:
Men can't do all the guess work on their own...there's only so much they can figure out.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

dang

I thought that all you needed to know was

#1 When & how to time the ocassion, & how to initiate it .
obiviously this can be different times and ways, even with the same woman

#2 How to multitask on a couple things, while rocking the little man in the boat

done

[Cyran0]

Some studies I've read suggest that the longer people are together the more truly satisfying they find their sex lives. The reason? Because they have had time to open up to their partners, get to know each other's desires, and are able to meet each other's needs. Not to mention the fact that, after long enough, you know each other's bodies like your own.

You sound like you have a variety of sexual interests and if you become comfortable with them, you'll have a wonderful sex life. Variety is so important no matter who you are and you sound ready to really explore that. Good for you.

Cyran0

[longnow]

I have something similar in that I can be hypersexual which unfortunately
is followed by a period of self consciousness. As a guy this can be
explained easily enough. My body needs time to recover after
a lot of activity. However, you seem not to be comfortable with
your situation. I had my hormones checked recently and specifically
my adrenals. I'm not talking about testosterone and the usual
suspects. I'm talking about epinephrine, cortisol, seritonin.
They were all very low. I was trying to jump start my system using
sex when all I succeeded in doing was making things worse.
Caffeine, alcohol do the same. One pumps you up the other
makes you happy but, in the end, is a depressant. Even in
moderate amounts one feeds off the other. Hyper sex
leads to shyness and back again. You can say...well there's
nothing strange about it and that would be true. You can
say "well thats the way I am" and go with it. You can
also ask is this what I want?

[sabby]

I don't chime in often on this forum, but this post interested me.

In my mind....having fantasies about sex and how someone wants it and in what way, is a very normal way to think and feel. But I think it's important to hone in on what makes you feel comfortable as opposed to acting on the fantasies.

I have specific fantasies at times, but for myself, I know I would not feel comfortable in acting on them. They are just that, fantasies....nothing more, nothing less. It's like a kind of story going on in my mind and I can play it out safely there without being judged by my partner or myself for that matter, and without being hurt in the process.

This in no way means that I never act on any fantasies, only the ones I feel comfortable with and know my partner is comfortable with too.


sabby

[SerenitysWave]

<font color="purple">I do have different personalities and it can reek havoc on my sex life... Sometimes I have to allow one of the others thru in order to get thru it... other times it is one of the others and they suffer silently... sometimes I have high desires to try new things which my husband doesnt and I do fantasize a lot... and many times i feel disgusted with myself for thinking or wanting to try something or even after doing something... like oh this isnt "right" or normal... or am I perv? Course it doesnt help that when I share some things with my husband about my thoughts and fantasies he tells me i am sick... such as wanting to try a threesome (me, hubby, and another female)... I think for me the experimenting is finding an emotional connection with sex and my partner as well as plain old having fun and spicing things up... IDK...

I dont think you are strange at all... I think it is normal to want to try new things, but much of the time we dont act on it b/c of fear due to much of how society views certain sexual acts... </font>

[BalishBun]

I dont beleive that sounds strange at all. Especially if youve had past partners, maybe one that only liked passionate, one that liked it rough, etc. One day I might like it totally wild and crazy, than the next passionate only. It is not strange at all.