[okiedokie]

Do these get less hard as men age?

Okie

[Rhapsody]

Yes...... for a lot of MEN this does become a problem with age.

[Rhapsody]

More and more doctors are starting to say the "Hardness Factor" in men can tell a lot about his health....... the Good and the Bad.

"The harder the erection - the healthier the man"

[Cyran0]

lol. I don't even want to think of the tests they might do if this became true diagnostic criteria.

Cyran0

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Cyran0 said:
lol. I don't even want to think of the tests they might do if this became true diagnostic criteria.

Cyran0

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">


- I do believe this is one test that can be done at HOME.

[salukigirl]

rhapsody - sounds like maybe you just tested this a little bit ago lol

my boyfriend is healthy lol (i would hope so, hes only 23)

Here is an interesting article on the subject:

http://www.webmd.com/content/chat_tr...s/1/109289.htm

It includes how they measure hardness....and it is NOT with a "ring toss" game, which was my initial guess.

Campy

[okiedokie]

although that could be fun...

[Cyran0]

I don't know why they're using that scale that goes up into the thousands. They should just do what I do and measure on the Mohs scale of mineral hardness.

I'm a 10.

lol. I'm such a dork.

Cyran0

[Raynaadi]

Can I use this thread as an excuse? Later tonight I could say ummmm hey they're asking about erections on PC. Can we test it?

[Cyran0]

In my experience guys don't need an excuse, just a partner (and frequently, not even that). But hey, if you're searching for a reason, I'd say knock yourself out.

Cyran0

Cyran0 - I looked it up, and apparently you can make engagement rings out of that thing! Although, the grinding and polishing might be problematic?

[Cyran0]

Actually, that thing is why guys make engagements.

Cyran0

[heyjoe]

this thread is hard to keep up with

[drummergrl]

Hi Rhapsody!!!
Speaking of that subject..............I had a friend from my college days that use to talk to me alot and we became good buddies. One day we were getting real personal and he asked me the same question...........at first I didn't know what to think or do, I was only 19 and very naive...........and believe or not the only VIRGIN in captivity!!!! lol.....................
I went home and talked to my sister about it and she told me that she went out with a man like that for a while, and discovered he couldn't get it up, nor did it STAY up. She broke up with him as she relates that to some deep rooted
psychological problem. She didn't want to help him get over it. I met a guy in college and we dated for a year plus
and we became engaged. One night I decided to try to make whoopie with him, and he couldn't DO IT either. I didn't relate that at the time to not being healthy. How would I know? My mom never had any of THOSE talks with me ever. Everything I learned the guys I dated wanted to TEACH me!!!!
Hah! Fat chance. So, in reference to your comment, does
not being able to maintain an erection mean the man is in
poor health? Is it the sole responsibility of the woman to
CURE him?
I'm sorry if I embarrass you, but like I said, I learned most everything the hard way. Not the birds and the bees.....but
how guys think, etc.

[Peacemaker]

Hi Oakie,

I used to date a man that, at best, could only maintain a semi level of an erection. I had researched a little bit about the subject. I found out that if a man woke up with a first morning erection, that the issue may be psyvologiical. If a man just can not achieve a full erection to eeek medical help. You can go do your internest or GP, but I woud suggest consulting an urologist. You may have low testosterone levels that can easily be treated. Another possibility could be damage to the inner tissue of the penis or even a circulation issue. I believe that going to a good urologist would be advisable. It may be due to your age (I do not know it) or a benign issue which Viagra, Levitra, or other would help. Other possibilities could be that you are diabetic or even high blood pressure. So, the issue may be a secondary issue to another medical problem. If all medical possibilities are confirmed as not a contributing factor, then you may have a psychological issue creating your difficulty. In that case, find a good sex therapist to help you.

Please do not hesitate to PM me if you would feel comfortable. I promise not to make light for make fun of your impotence.

Peacemaker

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
drummergrl said:
Hi Rhapsody!!!
in reference to your comment, does not being able to maintain an erection mean the man is in poor health?

Is it the sole responsibility of the woman to CURE him?

I'm sorry if I embarrass you, but like I said, I learned most everything the hard way.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Having known a couple of guys that had ED and have been in good health..... I would say that POOR HEALTH is NOT the only reason for ED - Erection Disorder...... stress, work, emotions, depression and mental issues are a few other reasons.

And NO - it is not the duty of the woman to CURE her man, but rather the responsibility of him and his doctor to work on the WHYS.

Embarrass little old ME over SEX TALK.................... NEVER!
I am the Mother & Aunt that has talked to more kids in the family than she can remember, and they still come back as adults asking questions.

[drummergrl]

Hi Rhapsody!
Thank you so much for clearing this up for me. I was so full of guilt in the beginning of our marriage that I didn't know what to do or say. All my friends perform "oral" sex on their guys, and they advised me to do so to see if that would help. I DON'T WANT TO HELP HIM THAT MUCH!!!
I couldn't do that as I think that's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. When I think of all the things women do for money, that's my first thought. I do not want to be rich that way!!! They haven't invented a figure I would take. It's too degrading for me. And as a victim of sexual assault I would
never even consider it. One of my doctors told me that I'm the one making the big deal out of it, so I should help be his CURE!!! That made me really MAD!!! Why? I haven't been able to shake that feeling that I'm DIRTY, somehow.
That's how the victim feels the rest of their lives. And I know
I might like being the victim, walk in my shoes if you think it's so easy to get over!!! It leaves a scar on you no one or no thing can erase.
In my own famous words: " Innocense once was a virtue, now it's a Crime".
Somehow you come to terms with it on YOUR terms, not what someone else wants. You're like the little girl who runs for cover and shielding but no one's there to help you.
You have to lock her away in your self-conscious and be her
protector. This chapter will never CLOSE.
That really does " trigger" me so I will stop at this point. I just needed some reassurance that I'm not the one to blame? I don't know why I'm going in this direction for sure.
Thanks again, Rhapsody.
drmr

[Cyran0]

drummergrl, I'm just going to provide another possibility. It's just food for thought so hopefully *gulp* people wont jump all over me for offering this.

But based on the tone of your post I'm left wondering if perhaps you are bringing some tension to the bedroom that's making it difficult for him to function. It would be understandable considering your history but could your behavior be contributing to the problem? Could that be what your therapist was trying to suggest? If you're subtly distant, disinterested, unenthusiastic, cold, or anything like that, your partner may be picking up on it and if he doesn't believe you want him, that could be a deal breaker.

Good healthy sex is a two way street so if his problem is not purely physical, it might be worth considering whether or not you're contributing to his psychological difficulties.

Again, I'm not saying any of the above is true in your case, it's just something to consider.

Cyran0

[scott88keys]

Cyrano, as always, has some good thought provoking things to say. I back him up. Sex is a two-way street and we take cues from one another.

Also, is the guy a smoker? That does bad things for the pecker. Drugs--normal drugs like alcohol or prescription meds can do the same.

It's not the woman's job to cure him, but I think it takes the man working with the dr. and keeping his woman in the loop--a team approach.

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Cyran0 said:
Good healthy sex is a two way street so if his problem is not purely physical, it might be worth considering whether or not you're contributing to his psychological difficulties.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

As a Person - I AGREE with what you are saying here.

But, as a woman who has also suffered through sexual abuse - I have to say that it is him that needs to be understanding with his wife during this difficult time for her, for it is hard to give freely to another sexually when your safety was taken by force and especially is that other person was also a man.

Now I have to ask -

Has she talked to her husband about this matter and how she feels? - I did with my husband and it made the world of difference in me feeling safe with him sexually...... Life & Sex is Good.

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
drummergrl said:
All my friends perform "oral" sex on their guys, and they advised me to do so to see if that would help.

I DON'T WANT TO HELP HIM THAT MUCH!!!
I couldn't do that as I think that's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

And as a victim of sexual assault I would never even consider it.

I might like being the victim, walk in my shoes if you think it's so easy to get over!!! It leaves a scar on you no one or no thing can erase.
In my own famous words: " Innocense once was a virtue, now it's a Crime".

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

((( hugs ))) - Please know that I understand how sexual abuse can effect a person later in life when they decide to become sexual with another...... and I know all about how some scars may never fully heal *sad*
I lived thru the hell and I suffered thru the rejection of sex by self - but now I am enjoying the benefits of having a caring husband that cared enough to listen and to support me until I got to the point where I was comfortable with him sexually.

Food for Thought (wife to wife)

Have you thought about pleasuring him manually with your hand and some motion lotion? - or can you ever image using some kind of sex toy on him that helps with his hardness factor?

[drummergrl]

No!!! I used to do that for him, but later on when it all came to a head (no pun intended), I didn't like that anymore. I use to just want him to hold me and nothing more, then it got to where he would put my hand down his pants all the time...
I jerked it back and turned over. It made me feel dirty. Cheap. I guess this is my road to hoe and cross to bear, but I can't find a solution. I don't think I really want one, to be honest?

Thanks anyway!!!

[drummergrl]

Hi Rhapsody:
Sorry for the long lapse in between postings, but I'm afraid
that Cyrano triggered a negative bomb in me and I could not even approach the subject let alone take into consideration what he said. You see, I didn't bring anything
into the b-room in the beginning. It's only been in the first year of marriage that I started to wonder if maybe he had a tryst with something he thought was a woman over in Nam on one of his pit stops in Bangkok!!!! Sometimes that happened over there and it's likely that no man would ever come forward and admit that!!! I don't know that I would given the situation.
So, it's a very touchy subject around me. I'm sorry I ever brought it up. Now I feel like I did back then, I FAILED him.
Oh well. %#@&amp;#! happens.

[Cyran0]

I'm sorry drummergrl, I was only trying to help.

Cyran0