[coldwut]

I have a really hard time falling asleep and staying asleep and it's been that ways for years.

I just feel both tired and wound up at the same time and lately I've been feeling the urge not to sleep. I want to stay awake for days until I crash. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because I feel down right now and like I hate myself.

I also wonder if it's related to my problems with food because I get angry in general, and I don't want to eat. I guess my mind takes out its anger on food.

I even started exercising at night but I can only do weights because I live with other people. It doesn't really help me sleep but at least I might be getting some muscles.

I also tend to fall asleep in burst, so there's that.

[NoSpecialHurry]

Hi Coldwut. We share the insomnia issue. Been like this for all my life. Worse now. Its almost 4:am and the rest of the house is sleeping. It seems like we just crash from exhaustion, not s gentle drifting off to sleep. Drugs perscribed seem to have the opposite affect. Part of the problem is we cant shut things off. Guess to be honest...we are afraid of shutting things off becuase the last and only voice is the darkest. Right now we cant remember where and what has been happening since our signup back in January. Its kind of there....but not. My partner says there is talking nad much body movement. Hate to tell doctors this because they always want to do sleep studies. We hope to remember to come back.
Kno what you mean about falling asleep in bursts. Lucky if i sleep for two hours staright. Sometimes we kno dreams will be messed up so we FIGHT SLEEP. M in that cycle now. Not helping was recently diagnosed as DID by a doc was referred to. Knew that and he was full of blah blah blah diminish...try this med.
Now the house is clean, brownies are made and so is ice tea. Try and sleep some so we can "do something normal each day" .....a dic told me that....always makes us laff.
Hope u catch some z's. Honestly not to good at this forum stuff but you can like friend people or something.
Well keep in touch...and mind how you go, peace.

[*Laurie*]

Insomnia is torturous. coldwut, have you tried an otc med like ZZZQuil?

[Perna]

Some of your symptoms sound very like bipolar disorder symptoms. Have you seen your doctor to discuss your sleep difficulties? I would print out your post and make an appointment with your primary care physician to see what they think and maybe do some tests or a sleep study if advised, etc.

[*Laurie*]

I agree with Perna.

And thank you, Perna - I thought part of insomnia IS being both tired and wound up. Upon reading your post, I realized that maybe not everyone experiences insomnia as being 'tired and wound up'. I do, but I'm diagnosed as bipolar.

[coldwut]

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

Insomnia is torturous. coldwut, have you tried an otc med like ZZZQuil?

All I have are those teas, which don't really help all too much.

I wonder if I can get some zzzquil before I go back to the university. I didn't even know that existed. I should look it up.

[coldwut]

Originally Posted by Perna

Some of your symptoms sound very like bipolar disorder symptoms. Have you seen your doctor to discuss your sleep difficulties? I would print out your post and make an appointment with your primary care physician to see what they think and maybe do some tests or a sleep study if advised, etc.

I have no doctor, but I have talked to a counselor and I made an appointment with a psychiatrist.

I am also going to talk to a counselor at my school.

Uh... Which of my symptoms seem like bipolar disorder? I ask because that runs in my family. I also take Celexa, but I take it in the mornings. Even then I still have a hard time sleeping. And there were some periods where my mood was elevated and then switched to agitated. Although I'm not sure if it's because of the Celexa or the other medication I was taking. Then again, I had that problem before taking that medication.

[*Laurie*]

I'm glad you're going to see a p-doc, coldwut. ZZZQuil might help you until you see the doctor. Of all the otc sleep meds, it seems to be a formula that works decently, but doesn't leave you with a hang-over feeling in the morning.

[coldwut]

I've heard that zzzquil can cause nightmares, but I think that's a risk I'm willing to take.

[mark014]

Originally Posted by coldwut

I have a really hard time falling asleep and staying asleep and it's been that ways for years.

I just feel both tired and wound up at the same time and lately I've been feeling the urge not to sleep. I want to stay awake for days until I crash. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because I feel down right now and like I hate myself.

I also wonder if it's related to my problems with food because I get angry in general, and I don't want to eat. I guess my mind takes out its anger on food.

I even started exercising at night but I can only do weights because I live with other people. It doesn't really help me sleep but at least I might be getting some muscles.


I also tend to fall asleep in burst, so there's that.

Try brisk walking in the morning. Eat long before you go to sleep and eat light. Try to bring in some changes in your attitude like being non-judgemental, choosing happiness and adding a dash of humor to your life. These would probably do a whole lot of good to you because your problem doesn't seem to be grave as of now. Cheers!

[Perna]

Having the urge not to sleep and wanting to stay up for days at a time is not normal. If I could sleep, I would, and will be actively trying again in a few minutes.

[coldwut]

Originally Posted by mark014

Try brisk walking in the morning. Eat long before you go to sleep and eat light. Try to bring in some changes in your attitude like being non-judgemental, choosing happiness and adding a dash of humor to your life. These would probably do a whole lot of good to you because your problem doesn't seem to be grave as of now. Cheers!

I can't really take a brisk walk in the morning right now because I live with my family and they don't think it's safe for me. I wake up early. Also it's hot where I'm at.

Also, we usually eat hours before bedtime, which is generally 11 for everyone. Not sure if we sleep at that time or not. I don't. I'm just in bed.

I really don't understand the part about choosing happiness. I do see the bright side of things, but I don't feel much towards it.

I like to watch cute and/funny videos that make me laugh.

Actually, sometimes being too happy, for the lack of a better word, made it hard for me to sleep. I've been having this problem since I was a kid.

I will try out the brisk walking when I go back to school. I live on campus.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by mark014

Try brisk walking in the morning. Eat long before you go to sleep and eat light. Try to bring in some changes in your attitude like being non-judgemental, choosing happiness and adding a dash of humor to your life. These would probably do a whole lot of good to you because your problem doesn't seem to be grave as of now. Cheers!

oldwut has had insomnia for years and some of the symptoms he's described are red flags. Indeed, the problem is grave. I understand your well meaning, but offering superficial 'sleep-hygiene' ideas when one is experiencing severe insomnia is cruel...it's like throwing a thimble of water on a fire.

[coldwut]

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

oldwut has had insomnia for years and some of the symptoms he's described are red flags. Indeed, the problem is grave. I understand your well meaning, but offering superficial 'sleep-hygiene' ideas when one is experiencing severe insomnia is cruel...it's like throwing a thimble of water on a fire.

Wait, which of my symptoms are red flags?

I have a hard time gauging whether something is severe for me or not. I think it might be because alexithymia, or that I'm used to it. I'm so used to not getting a good night's sleep. When I was a kid I would constantly wake up. If I went to bed late, I would still wake up early in the morning just to be able to go to school.

I'm pretty sure most of my family members have problems with sleeping, and some of them are mentally ill.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by coldwut

I have a really hard time falling asleep and staying asleep and it's been that ways for years.

I just feel both tired and wound up at the same time and lately I've been feeling the urge not to sleep. I want to stay awake for days until I crash. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because I feel down right now and like I hate myself.

I also wonder if it's related to my problems with food because I get angry in general, and I don't want to eat. I guess my mind takes out its anger on food.

I even started exercising at night but I can only do weights because I live with other people. It doesn't really help me sleep but at least I might be getting some muscles.

I also tend to fall asleep in burst, so there's that.

I've put the 'red flags' in red for you. In my opinion, it would be a really good idea if you write those red words on a piece of paper and take it to your psychiatrist.

[coldwut]

I don't think I will be able to take zzzquil because of the medication I'm taking. Or maybe it's just nyquil.

I take Celexa, and apparently ny quil can interact with it in a bad way.

[*Laurie*]

Hmm. I take a lot of meds (Celexa has been one of them) and the otc sleep meds, including ZZZQuil, were always fine for me (approved by my p-doc).

[coldwut]

LauraBeth: I'll try taking some zzzquil of I can find some. If not, then maybe nyquil.

I should also mention that I get the urge to do things like go out for a walk in the middle of the night, exercise on some treadmill/exercise in general, or clean.

Sometimes I just rock back and forth because I have energy but my executive function is poor.

[*Laurie*]

Well, I'm really glad you'll be seeing a p-doc and hopefully getting on meds that are helpful to you. You deserve to sleep.

[NoSpecialHurry]

Originally Posted by coldwut

I have a really hard time falling asleep and staying asleep and it's been that ways for years.

I just feel both tired and wound up at the same time and lately I've been feeling the urge not to sleep. I want to stay awake for days until I crash. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because I feel down right now and like I hate myself.

I also wonder if it's related to my problems with food because I get angry in general, and I don't want to eat. I guess my mind takes out its anger on food.

I even started exercising at night but I can only do weights because I live with other people. It doesn't really help me sleep but at least I might be getting some muscles.

I also tend to fall asleep in burst, so there's that.

Hi again Coldwut....have you had your Thyroid checked? Your symptoms, insomnia, mood issues/changes - like your anger and hating yourself - and the food thing. Just not hungry. Nothing makes your mouth water. All of that and more are symptoms of thyroid being wonky. Google hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism.
Have been there and didnt know about all of this until went to a new doc and she ordered a bunch of blood tests. Now she is trying to get levels fixed but its a struggle. Still awake, been more than 2 days now.
Strange my old doc never tested for it especially since was on Lithium and Seroquel which can affect Thyroid.
Also not sure from ur post but do u have insurance? If ur not working, and no insurance if you get to the point where you need to go to the hospital emergency room ask for a caseworker to help you get medical assistance. All hospitals offer this, because they want to get paid
As to your insomnia, long term part of the struggle is accepting you are that way and may always have that struggle. We turn off all electronics atleast 2 hours b4 trying to sleep and usually read. Listening to music helps. Something relaxing like Megadeath or Anthrax....just kidding tho Tool has put me to sleep with Lateralus and 10,000 Days. Whatever works for you. When you cant walk theres this exercise where you lie on your back and elevate your hips with ur hands and ride an air bycycle.
Just throwing ideas out and hope you find somethings that help. Camomile tea helps a bit and LauraBeth is spot on with the Zzzquil. Thats helped when nothing else will.
Hope you have gotten some rest......good luck and keep in touch.

[coldwut]

NoSpecialHurry: I have gotten my thyroid checked and it was within normal range. I had it checked twice. It was so that we can see if my thyroid might be the cause of my symptoms.

I have insurance.

I should add that I did get a good amount of sleep, due to having a headache. I went outside in the heat and came back with a headache. I don't think I want to do that again though.

[NoSpecialHurry]

What have ur docs said about ur insomnia? Been prescribed anything? What do u do when u cant sleep. Know you mentioned working out but guess m really asking where's ur head? Off in the darkness? At the edge of an abyss? Or are you in the void?
Meds we take seem to do the opposite. Usually cant sleep becuase head wont shut down. Conversations, some humming, static where you can hear something but cant make out what it is. Is why we put headphones on. Here lately its Tool
Lateralus.
How long have you been dealing with insomnia? Our insomnia is many decades old. I consider 3 hours of unbroken sleep something to celebrate. Rarely happens tho. Worse are cycles were the same dream continues, like u wake up then fall back asleep into the same dream. Off to try to sleep, perchance to dream.

[coldwut]

NoSpecialHurry: I don't have a doctor to talk to about this. I not sure if I told my first psychiatrist.

I remember telling a counselor about my sleep problems, only to be told that most teenagers go through that. My grandparents know but they can only offer tea.

I've been dealing with this since I was a child. I used to either wake up a lot, or wake up really early.

Sometimes I watch TV when I can't sleep. I end up falling asleep in half an hour. Or I read something, or I just toss and turn, or exercise.

Sometimes my brain won't shut off, so I guess that might be a reason.