working on it.

Hi, I'm a person who has had low self esteem for awhile, it's a contributor to my depression, but i'm working on it..today, though, I noticed my self-esteem was lower than usual. I felt pretty awkward and it even made me trigger.
Being awkward makes me trigger unfortunately, I always think i can get out of this, so that makes me trigger a little bit more..it's frustrating since I know i'm better than this and i'm just so awkward..i can't keep my head up high all the time.

how can I stop this? i need better self esteem!! maybe i'll stop being depressed? (that might be a long shot, but it's a shot nonetheless i suppose...eh, idk.)

Thank you.

Do what the song says:

Accentuate The Positive

Gather 'round me, everybody
Gather 'round me while I'm preachin'
Feel a sermon comin' on me
The topic will be sin and that's what I'm ag'in'
If you wanna hear my story
The settle back and just sit tight
While I start reviewin'
The attitude of doin' right


You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium's
Liable to walk upon the scene

To illustrate my last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they do just when everything looked so dark?

(Man, they said "We'd better accentuate the positive")
("Eliminate the negative")
("And latch on to the affirmative")
Don't mess with Mister In-Between (No!)
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

(Ya got to spread joy up to the maximum)
(Bring gloom down to the minimum)
(Have faith or pandemonium's)
(Liable to walk upon the scene)

You got to ac (yes, yes) -cent-tchu-ate the positive
Eliminate (yes, yes) the negative
And latch (yes, yes) on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No, don't mess with Mister In-Between

The trick is don't be afraid of that 'awkward feeling'. Take some slow deep breaths and acknowledge it's there, but don't give into it. Eventually you won't react to that feeling and it will go away. I blame alot of self esteem problems on the beauty industry, TV, Hollywood etc. From the time we're little girls, we're bombarded with that perfect image of beauty. What most people don't realize, is it's all false -most people dont role out of bed looking like that. In fact the models themselves don't look like that!!!

You should check out http://www.dove.ca/en/#/cfrb/ to learn more about it.
After hours of hair and makeup they take pictures and then they alter the image further by changing the width of the eyes, removing shadows/pimples, lengthening the neck - there's endless things they do. These images are put in maganizes and young women try to emmulate them - this is impossible to do. They end up feeling they're not good enough. We need to change the way we raise our girls and empower them to accentuate their own strengths instead of placing value only on the way they look.

Great! You've done the great step which is aware of your feeling.

I'd love to share using Mirror to affirm yourself...follow 3 step DocJohn recommends.

1. When aware of negativitiy or your inner critic...Acknowledge it by saying "Thanks for sharing".
2. Then affirm yourself with positive message you love like "I feel good about yourself.
3. Then go to a mirror. Take a look at your eye's in the mirror and use affirmation again "I feel good about myself"..

P.S...you can enjoy playing with this..everytime you see mirror...look into your eye's in the mirror ... and say "I feel good about myself" and end it with I love you etc.

How are you doing, opaquemind?

I'm reviving this article back from the dead! Lol. :P

I just left this article alone for some reason...partly, I think, because I just can't do this! I just can't seem to be nice to myself and say "Hey, I'm a good person.." anymore. I was for a little while, but I'm crashing like the stock market currently..again. -_-

My self-esteem's been ok (which actually made me stay away from pc. I was enjoying life a bit in the real world actually..), but has been going down again.

I'm being a pushover again, I can't stop, and I actually thought about SI again yesterday (or two days ago, I forgot..). I was even shocked to notice that I was checking my clock over and over again. This happened before and it's happening again! That got me going crazy yesterday.

Goodness PC-ers, I'm just not understanding myself. I----I..just don't understand.

(I'm so grateful that you all gave me such wonderful advice though!!!! Just looking at it lifted my spirits a tad! You all are wonderful!! (((((((((((hugs!))))))))))) )

Just talk to yourself; catch yourself being unsure about something you've said/done and be on "your side" by telling yourself it will be okay, that "You" are there with you. Or stand up for yourself when you put yourself down. If I call myself an "idiot" I've trained myself to automatically answer, "I'm not an idiot!" :-)

Make yourself laugh/relax. Tell yourself you're going to strap your clock to your wrist and imagine that, so you can take it everywhere and check it more conveniently :-) If a part of you is being negative, worried, etc. then call their bluff and make fun of them. It's just all about which thoughts YOU want to think/have in charge.

Make your SI "public" in some way for yourself so it's not just your "dirty little secret" http://www.selfinjury.com/ Counter the assumptions that you need it/would feel better for it. Yes, you'd physically feel better for awhile but that's just chemical, like chocolate's effect :-) Do some experimenting; eat a piece of chocolate when you feel like SI :-) or a grape or something totally ridiculous like that to make you smile and relax.

When I am in a better place and a negative voice talks to me, I say, "Thank you, shame, thank you guilt, now shut up!"



Billi

Perna- Thank you for this! I hope to counteract my negativity, but I fail to be successful sometimes which discourages me in the future even more. I lose hope instead of gaining confidence. I'll try to hang on though.
It's funny about the SI..you see, I've been thinking and I've realized that I'm not SI-ing any more, and the urges are small. However, I've haven't been eating lunch lately. I'm not a big eater to begin with, but when I don't eat, I start to feel better about myself. -_- I can't control this feeling. I've hated eating lunch for awhile, and not eating makes me feel better. Is this ok?

Billi- Hmm, I wish I could do what you are doing! for me though, I'm just not as lucky. My negativity just rules me. :'(

ty opaque.

some days I still can't.

Billi

You can do it Billi,
you can!