The Most Valuable Words I Ever Heard

were.."Restorative Justice"---Meaning: This is what you did, this is how it made me feel. It doesnt' matter what the abuser says, thinks or does about what you say, it only matters what YOU think and say.

It is a way to reclaim your power.

I think when we remain silent and don't confront the abuser (you can do it by mail or with a third party/therapist), that it is a DIS-empowered feeling.

Rarely will an abuser admit to what they did.

Sharon

Sounds like a plan. Good luck.

I really enjoyed your post! Thanks so much........

Good online site: http://www.restorativejustice.org/

Sharon,
I love that statement, it's so powerful, and so true. thanks for sharing it. i particularly had a rough day remember some trauma I went through and it helped to read this.

I think the decision as to whether or not to confront one's abuser is a very personal thing. For some I'm sure it can be very empowering, but I'm not sure it's restorative. Is that even possible? Can any amount of justice ever do that?

Assuming responsiblity for my current life, whatever befalls or has befallen me, is the ultimate empowerment for me. I persist, I thrive, I grow.

I guess the most powerful words I ever heard, or said, were "I forgive you".

But each approaches recovery in their own way and whatever works, works you know?

Elliemae: Of course that decision is a personal thing. I think it restores your power. It cannot change what happened, but when you speak up and name it, it is empowering.

So many abused people are in horrific pain at what was done to them in the past, and fear revealing that secret or saying anything at all.

Abuse (like everything in life) is a choice. We have a choice to confront the abuser with what they have done.

It is amazing. The abuser goes on with their life, as if in nothing had ever happened and the abused spend a lifetime trying to come to grips with it.