How to let it go

Phoenix, you can be rude to people who are being rude to you. Not replying is a dignified way of being "rude". You have the right to protect yourself and when you are protecting yourself it really isn't being rude.

He's being friendly? No, he is looking for some "action" that many people would not be interested in and the way that he was acting was very triggering for you. I don't blame you at all for not wanting to talk to him. Why aren't you defriending him?

i think im overreacting Sannah ... i dont know if im misinterpreting . he asked for a photo - i have a pic of a kitten on my page - i said dont have - i like being kitty so keeping it - he said its not like im asking for nude photos of you - its just a pic and youve seen mine - it seems so reasonable - im over- reacting arnt i......

I dont know what to think - i dont want to hurt anyone .... its prob just me over reacting and not trusting and him just being friendly... im not used to dealin wiht men lol except at work.

Is this what was really said or are you minimizing now? What about him asking you if you like to talk dirty?

Phoenix, anything that makes you question, makes you uncomfortable or insecure, you could not possibly over react to, because you need to respond to your feelings. The lack of trust and the skepticism you are displaying are normal and perfectly ok. Don't worry whether you are over-reacting, you don't owe anyone anything except yourself. believe in your gut feelings, don't apologize for who you are, and know that you are the most important person in any equation.
I know what its like to question oneself, if we are somehow subconsciously inviting behaviors or actions.
The answer is no we are not- but we are still learning what is acceptable and what isn't. What I thought 'acceptable' at age 3 I certainly know now is not. You are not alone, and you are not a deviant magnet. You need only believe that you deserve the respect that we often believed reserved only for others, and respect you will receive.

Sannah , ive second guessed that conversation so many times - i dont know ... he was fairly persistant about a photo - i siad oh i only use this for games and i say hi to anyone that says hi to me

I said i liked the kitty photo and made a joke about not putting a photo up as i didnt want to scare anyone - he said somethign like well ahve you vistied my proofile and seen my photo? i said no i dont visit peoples profiles - he asked again about a photo and i said hey i already said i like the kitty - and he said well its only fair youve seen my photo and its not for everyone its for me - - and its not like im asking for nude photos of you ...

i guess that made me triggery - but maybe thats how guys talk to girls? did he think i was flirting wiht him when i joked about my photo - he seems to be on there a lot now when im on and i dont like it but hes never said anything bad outright ..
the dirty talk was somthing like.... me in black him in blue

Hi X
HI
how are you
good and you?
do you like to talk dirty?
NO
then neither do i

then the conversation was a normal one about weather and such and he had told me the first time we talked that he had met a woman online and she had turned out to be married and he was heart broken and i had tried to be supportive..... maybe that gave him the wrong impression....

sassyseattle - i agree about the respect thing...sighs.....its like i have to be respectful to him ...even if i dont feel right about it - it makes me feel sick inside now - but he didnt actually say anythign wrong didhe...thats why i think im over reacting...... its close to the anniv of the attack that gave me PTSD and im hyper vigilent and double guessing everything

Damn ! i feel like im drowning!!!!

why cant i just pretend i didnt see it .... but i cant

Phoenix, it isn't respectful to say the nude photo thing. If someone said that to me IRL I would blush. Him asking you if you like to talk dirty says A LOT about what kind of person that he is. I would not befriend anyone who asked me this question. It just isn't respectful.

I don't say "hi" to everyone who says hi to me. When I am walking down the street in an area where strangers don't talk to others I ignore most men who say "hi" to me. I don't have to automatically meet the needs of anyone. I can chose whose needs I meet and part of that decision is based on my needs too. You don't have to treat yourself as an open book that must meet anyone's needs at any time.

Please keep us posted on this?

i told him im not interested in that kind of talk and so far he has been ok - he made a comment about finding a "friend with benefits: but i ignored that....i wil keep it day to day stuff anyway im hurting too much to go there - i have an abcess onmy tooth and a sinus infection notihing can be doen til i get rid of the infectin and the pain is overwhelming....my fault i guess lol yes actually it is - i havnt taken care of me for a long time now and my body is fnally saying ENOUGH!

Are you treating the infection?

yes sannah , i am on antibiotics now - but the annoying thing is that the tooth that seems to have started all this cos it broke - the dentist kept saying it wasnt that one cos nothing could happen to it cos the root had already had a root canal - i saw another dentist and she said the old root canal when exposed had disintergrated and thats where the infection started - she put a temp filling in til friday when i have it out

so maybe all this pain could have been avoided if i had had a temp filling in the tooth that "will never be a problem" grrrrr

actually im too tired and too medicated to be angry - antibiotics make me feel ill - pain makes me tired - and so do the pain meds -- keep your fingers crossed for me on friday please im a big chicken at heart

Are you taking probiotics or eating yogurt a few hours after each dose of antibiotic? Antibiotics wipe out our normal flora and can make us ill. Replacing this normal flora helps a lot.

Yes, I have had this same issue with a root canal and so has my husband. Some dentists are just better than others. I'm glad that you finally got it taken care of.

What is coming up on Friday?

friday - i have the toth out you can cal me gummy bear after that lol - sighs.....

its strange what we dream about in these moments of unreality ...


i dont knowif they are memories...... some repeat over and over.....and trouble me ........

i wonder if i wil ever be a "real " person again - or if i ever really was.....

just wanna let you know, you are not alone!

many people feel like they can't let go of stuff,
including me~

have hope that it will pass...time heals all wounds.

tooth is gone - pain remains - isnt that like trauma - the incident is over but the effects carry on ....

i had a minior panic attack wheni went to the dentist - had to change rooms after the local anaesthetic was given OMG did that hurt

then the local wore off half way through takingthe tooth out that had to be cut in 3 before it was removed.......

had to let her know that i was in alot of pain and she said how calm i sounded - lol i was screaming inside -

once i can manage the pain wil see if i can get a phone consult with a T - dont think i can get the get up and go to go see one........ maybe the phone is the answer - who knows.. for now i just need the pain to stop and to try to let go of allthis crap im carrying around wihtme before they find me buried under junk in my flat...sighs....

This is good...... I'm glad that you have the tooth out. Sorry that it was so distressing. Hoping that you get that pain under control soon..... Keep us posted..........

pain is under control....

i borrowed $500 from my sister to get dental work done ...and i paid $180 and lost the envelope with the rest of it in it ...sighs...i was so out of it and the pain was so bad...i have been back where i went but no-one handed it in.....

stil need one more done... oh well

i had a long chat with a friend on the internet today and felt really good afterwards and ........... it always seems to happen......

you dont deserve to be happy....somthing bad will happen now wait and see..... they dont really like you......... if they knew about what happened they would wash their hands of you......

the i went out to buy some cat food (cisco has special biscuits for a crystals inhis bladder prob) and i bought other stuff....stuff i didnt need - i mean i cant eat properly anyway........

so then.....

why are you so damn stupid? why do you do this? no wonder these things happened to you - you probably asked for it the way you are asking for trouble now.... and i realised i had scratched up my arms.... as if they didnt look bad enough already

so i was desperate to SI - frantic - drove too fast to work - had to stop and control myself - was cranky withnthe nurse at handover - cos she had no freaking idea about anything grrrrr - i even made a nasty sarcastic remark - as i walked away that i now hope she didint hear - about ..well doesnt matter - im a cow - but now i just want to crawl into a corner ... and never come out....... i can feel my systems shutting down and i ahve to work so i cant - but all i want to do is sleep my life away....

better today....just sad.....

I went to the mind body spirit festival and had a healing lol my tooth still hurt lol -

Saw a clairvoyant - she said i already knew someone i could ahve arelationship wiht ...she doesnt know how i am inside - anyway im prob better off alone - just somtimes in my imagination it would be nice to have someone hold me and comfort me when im sad...

oh well - its not for everyone - this togetherness stuff.