Has anyone ever bullied as a child?

I read Icky's post about blaming herself for being treated meanly and it stirred up a memory.
When I was a kid, about 6, I think, I use to beat up this girl, Charlette, after school. I don't know why I choose her-I just did. She did nothing wrong to me.
It ended one day when her family members came by after school and kicked the hell out of me.
I deserved that.
I wish I could get in touch with Charlette and apologize. I hope she doesn't feel she in some way deserved it because she didn't.
((((((((Charlette)))))))) I'm sorry.

(((((((((((jax))))))))))))))) i so understand!

i live with massive guilt. for about a year, i was a huge bully. i was an abused child acting out in pain. i was very unkind...not so much with words...physically. i feel shame and sorrow for that.

we turned it around to focusing our rage on other "bullies". we started sticking up for the kids that were bullied. my heart wasn't in being the bully and the rage turned appropriately.

we promised never to touch another human being ever after a certain incident when a teen. i won't go into that here, but it was bad. since then we've never attempted to "reach out" in rage anymore.

i can relate. we were hurt, confused children.

be safe,

kd

Jax it has been so long that I have ever thought about this; but yes, I used to bully some of the kids we knew. I really had no reason to do this. You have made me wonder exactly what was going on in my mind when I did this and with all the rest of what was happening to me if it was linked together. I too apologize to anyone that I was mean to. I hope I have caused no one harm by what I did as a child.

::sigh of relief:: Okay. Thank you so very much for sharing your experiences with me.
KimmyDawn, it's interesting how you wrote about turning it around and focusing on other bullies. I've done that since I was a teenager.
Anymore though, I'm just out to protect myself to a certain degree. I got tired of putting myself "out there" only to find nobody was at MY side when I was being singled out.
We are hurt and confused children.
BiPolar, I think it was linked together. Like KimmyDawn says we were abused children acting out our pain.
Again, thank you so much for sharing your stories with me. I don't feel so alone with this anymore.
(((((((KimmyD&BiPolar))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jax)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Wow. Thank you for sharing this. When I was younger I used to be very violent with other kids. I would go off for no reason. But in the middle of it all, I felt so guilty inside for hurting this other person but I couldnt stop and I dont know why. I still feel horrible to this say. I can still feel the rage and the guilt. Makes me feel awful inside

I know, Jen.
But I think we can forgive ourselves, though.
We were so little and confused.
We all probably lacked the right guidance in our lives to help us sort these angry feelings out at that time.
((((((((((((((((Jen)))))))))))))))))))))

Good post Jen. It is good to apologize...even if Charlette never sees it.
I was always bullying someone. My size and tomboyish(BUTCH) qualities allowed me to over power people just by walking into a room and I then started to act like a big bad dyke.
Kinda still today....my motto somehow is "I can hurt you before you hurt me"

I never really put the two together. Abusing another because we were abused. I just had rage inside of me and I didnt know how to express it and/or deal with it.

Yes. I was bullied ruthlessly at school and abused at home. I took out my frustrations on neighbor cats and flies and slugs... it sounds weird, but it's true. Later, when I was a teenager, I regularly bullied my best friend's sister and any other kids that got in my way. It wasn't a targetted kind of thing. But if I was having a very bad day, I was pretty scary sometimes.

(((((((((((Obsids&Susan)))))))))))

I think I was in a rage but didn't know I was in a rage. I kinda pretended everything was okay because I didn't want to upset Mom.

I wasn't bullied much, but I feel guilty for not sticking up for the kids who were bullied more. I was a big kid and could've made a difference, but my head wasn't there at the time.

ahh, alas the question is, "Were you a bully"? There was one little girl who had lunch everyday and warm clothes and matching socks and a hat and a lunch box. I bullied her for a short while. I thought she was spoiled. Wonder where I learned that? There was also a girl with dumbo ears, a repairable birth-defect and I once called her dumbo. Other then that I was pretty good. I hid as I felt the sting of shame for having been neglected and tortured.

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wisewoman said:ahh, alas the question is, "Were you a bully"?

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Whoops. I misread the question. Now that I think about it, I'm sure I gave my younger cousin a hard time now and again. Nothing physical, but I joined in some teasing. Not my proudest memory.