Does this make sense to anyone?

As some of you know for the past few weeks I have begun dealing with my past abuse. It has been so difficult for me. I have been kicking and screaming most of the way.
I now have 2 hour therapy sessions. It is no joy...trust me.
But...I keep going back and forth. One minute I am fine, on top of the world. I can see things clearer. I have hope for my future.

Then BAMMM I am at the edge, no longer feeling good but feeling hyper. Wanting to destroy everything in my path.

This back and forth is really tearing me upside down.
It is worse then just being really down for a long period of time.
Am I really just going crazy or is this normal????

Completly normal.I have allways been like that.

Sounds like time for a mood stabilizer to me. It used to be that I was happy as a clam from about 8 to noon, and then out of nowhere would absolutely tank to the point of being suicidal for another few hours. Lamictal has done me a world of good.

I'm dealing with my past abuse as well and so far I am having flashbacks in my dreams. It sucks. Good luck.

candy

you are very normal. this happens to me too. A therapist once told me it happens because I was feeling the things that I burried. Basically a normal brain process for emotions.

(((((((((((((((sj)))))))))))))))))

it's very normal. i consider it a form of running.

be safe,

kd

I cannot take this rollercoaster ride any longer.
When I am high and flying like a kite I am still going down a path of destructive behaviors. When I am low I am all buried like a mummy and still feeling destructive.
I cannot live like this.
This is incredibly frustrating.
How dare this abuse that poisoned my mind and raped my soul of having any type of normal life or decent relationship continue to just beat down on my.
WTF..................I cannot relive it for another minute.
I cannot partake in this anymore.

((((((Sj))))))) I hear you and I hear your pain.

I was once given an analogy which helps me still. I'll share it in the hope it might help you too. I was told that recovery is like climbing a mountain. You haul yourself up to the top, believing that it will be the end of your journey, only to find that there is a valley you have to go through before you can actually reach the top of the mountain. This happens time and time again. In our journey to cross the mountain range we can get to the top and have to go down again in order to reach the end.

Take care of you. Have a rest and look at the view (if you can).

Caroline

((((((((((((((((sj)))))))))))))))))

it's understandable. tell t that you need some "skating" time to try to stablize and adjust to the massive EVERYTHING that you're feeling. you need time with her to feel and know what you're feeling before going into more.

let me know?

be safe,

kd