[Overcastbutclearing]

I am in my 30's. I have never been to the gyno. I fear going. I always feared they could tell what happened to me.
I am now dealing with what happened...the past several weeks have been grueling in my mind.
And, I still am not sure it is helping.
Anyway, just wondering if anyone else has the same fear and in the same boat I am in by never seeing the gyno???

[silver_queen]

I'm 20, I have never been either, though somebody on this site has been encouraging me to go and get a checkup, but I hate the idea of somebody looking at me there, it scares me, even though I know a woman would be looking. You're definitely not alone in your fear

[Overcastbutclearing]

Thanks for sharing, I know it is personal.
I am terrified!
My gf really wants me to go. I haven't ever discussed it w/ my T but I am sure soon in T it is going to come up as we dig deeper into my past.
I really know it is healthy to get a check up but the torment it causes in my mind "just thinking" about it is more then I can manage.
Thanks for sharing though. It means a lot to know I am not a freak

[h0kie]

I'm 25. Just went for the first time in July.

I love my doctor. She's wonderful. She made the whole experience tolerable. Not something I want to do every day, but once a year I can stand, I suppose.

I would encourage you to go, maybe try to find someone who deals with survivors of abuse. Or ask around and see who people recommend as a good doctor. I prefer a woman, others do not. It's important to take care of yourself.

[jammerlich]

I'm 31 and I've only been once - about 11 years ago right before I got married. It was horrible for me - I completely flipped out - and I don't plan to ever go back. So yes, I think I can understand a little of how you feel. I'm sorry it's so hard.

The GYN I saw said I had some physical abnormalities and as I've never had children or any type of surgery, the only thing to really explain it is my past. As I understand it, it is unusual, but it can happen. I hope I didn't scare you, but I wanted to be honest.

[SweetSunshine]

SJ and Others ~
I have been going to the Gyn since I became sexually active, I guess you could say when I permitted it to happen rather. And that was just before I was 18 and so I waited just to when i became 18 to go since I didnt have to have my parents there. I am 37 now. I still go every year. All those years I did feel very uncomfortable. Just 2 years ago , I felt confident enough to talk to my GYN about things. That when he was doing the procedure itself it bothered me big time. I mean I couldnt relax like I was supposed to , it hurt, i cried, and he was great about it. He stopped everything. Sat me up and we talked thru things thoroughly. The plan was that he was going to talk me thru everything , explain what he was doing , how it was going to prolly feel, and at any point all I had to do was to say stop and he would stop. He gave me complete control . I want to pass this on to you and any others here that may need this to help them thru . Because taking control of your body , means taking care of it too. YOU and your body deserve the care , respect and love that it never got with your abuser(s). Please just think about this. I'm thinking of you too. Take care~

Hugz~
Bethy

[mrb020377]

I have a wonderful gyno. I have been every year since I turned 17. My fear is not so much the gyno..... it is the dentist... i have panic attacks when I have to go.

I hope that you can find someone that makes you comfortable. I understand your feelings

I don't go to a gyno. I see my primary doctor. I trust him and if I have a bladder infection I see him so why not for the works too. As a part of becoming a family physician doctors have to be schooled in that area and keep up with stuff in that area so for me I saw no point in adding another doctor to the list when what I had was trustworthy and capable of doing the job. maybe this would be the right solution for you.

[Gracey]

I don't do the gyno either. I haven't been since my last child was born. Simply cannot do it. And no, my T doesn't know. I can only imagine the lecture I'd get considering the hx of cancer in my family.

[BlueFaith]

I also go every year, and I have been since I was 17 (I'm 25 now). But I guess after having 3 children it's not as hard as it used to be. Still it's not the most comfortable thing to do. I do encourage everyone to go though. It may be uncomfortable, but it's worth it in the end.

[jennie]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Tryin2bme said: The plan was that he was going to talk me thru everything , explain what he was doing , how it was going to prolly feel, and at any point all I had to do was to say stop and he would stop. He gave me complete control .

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

i agree with tryin2bme. this is the best plan.

i had to be seen one too many times by a GYN Oncologist, who triggered me majorly during one session. he is a sweet guy but did not talk to me during the session; instead he talked to the intern about "see this blah blah blah" and was not gentle with the instruments.

once i started seeing female GYNs, then my experiences have been much more tolerable. i have seen at least 5 different female docs and each one talked to me during the exams. only recently have i been brave enough to tell docs i have sexual trauma issues. i'm pregnant now and i'm so happy i'm at the place i am (not sooo scared of gyns that i avoid them completely.) btw, i didn't see my first gyn until i was 27 and was forced by the military.

i recommend seeing a female gyn and disclosing you have trauma issues.

[Overcastbutclearing]

Thanks again for all the imput.
I am still scared to death about just making an appointment let alone going.
But, this helps to know others have struggled with the same thing too.

[vanna123]

I don't know if this will be usaeful -- but if you would feel comfortable with someone going with you, When I finally had to go (because of problems i was having) I called the local women's shelter and a counselor from there answered all of my questions and went with me so we could talk after it was over.

[movingforward]

I have a friend who just went through the same thing. She had not seen a gynocologist since she remembered 12 years of sexual abuse a few years ago. She said she went in to speak with the female doctor ahead of time to talk to her about her abuse and the sensitive nature of her visit. I believe that any doctor who is kind and caring will take a few minutes out of their busy day to see a potential client about something so personal. If they do not, move on until you find one. She said it was not so scary since she got to talk with her first, leave the office and then return with the issue already out there, so to speak. Maybe this will help you. Take care.