Still A Victim?

Here I sit pondering this very question. Here's my situation...my boyfriend constantly gives me the silent treatment, calling me an abomination, saying how "wrong" and sick I am...is that abuse in itself? It feels like it.

I am not ashamed of what I am and I do not believe myself to be an abomination, but to hear it from someone you love is something terrible...please help me.

its called emotional abuse. boyfriends that emotionally abuse soon turn to physical abuse.

Suggestion:

the two of you need to talk about where you want that relationship to go and place boundries so that both respect each other from the get go .... or go separate ways before someone gets seriously hurt in the future.

I agree that what your boyfriend is doing is emotional abuse. I am sorry that he is doing this to you. i wholeheartedly agree that you two should sit down and talk about your relationship as a whole. You do not deserve to go through this.

BTW you are not an abomination and please do not let him convince you otherwise. You are a kind and caring person. Please take care of you.

I work as a Domestic Violence Advocate, Activist and Educator. Your boyfriend sounds like a emotional abuser. Which can lead to Psychological a then physical abuse. Do not let his works make you feel bad about yourself. That is part of the cycle that they weave. You want to build yourself up and not let him tear it down. Let me know if you need more answers I am here for you.
Lilith
Merry Meet!
Merry Part!

Dear Lexicon, Very YES on the abuse thing. Do you have a rape crisis line in you r town? A House for battered women? If so, you could give them a call and get a pamphlet on "What is abuse?" and maybe even ask about councelling. They often have free groups and counselors available. My father was always putting my mother down. their marriage lasted 40 years. When he died, my mother couldn't sleep because she felt guilty she didn't miss him. After he died, I was able to feel safe enough to start having fill in the blank memories about his abuse to me. I wrote Mom a ten page letter, expecting her to freak out. Instead, she slept soundly, no longer feeling guilty about not missing the booger. (And, it turned out, she was able to help some of her friends who were in the same boat!) Please, you are worthy of unconditional love and caring. If he can't work with you on this one and clean up his act, take care of yourself and dump him: One BIG ooowwwwyyy now instead of a lot more pain in the future sounds good to me. You deserve love and support. Period, end.

Thanks for all your support. I do see his behavior as abusive and am gonna end our relationship very soon...if not today! I am just so sick of being his emotional punching bag anymore. Wish me luck!

LUCK! LUCK! LUCK! LUCK! LUCK! LUCK! LUCK! LUCK! LUCK! and more LUCK! You go girl!